Journey To Fearless

October 17, 2013

cf0567eef16e464ef585fd11c9ad68f3 We all have our daily struggles. Some more difficult than others, and some people  seem more prone to troubles and struggles than others. Nevertheless, struggles are real. Struggles are always present.
It wasn’t until the spring semester of my freshman year in college that I realized I had a real struggle. I real, life threatening, life altering, time consuming, heart breaking struggle. While I was in class I constantly thought about what  had just eaten and how it changed me, I thought about my next meal and how I could burn it off, and how I could eat the minimal amount of food while still eating. I couldn’t not eat. Basically, food and thoughts of food came to consume about 96%, if not a higher percentage of my time.
Returning to school in the fall semester, I finally decided that it was time to seek help. I clearly could not resolve this issue on my own. Clearly it was eating me alive (it had been for at least the past 7 years, if not my entire life.) I couldn’t take the voices in my head anymore. I couldn’t handle them judging me, controlling me and trying to be everything my life revolved around.
So now, I’m a couple months into sessions. Trying to keep my hopes up. Trying to tell myself that I can get over this. Trying to understand where all this is coming from. And constantly, constantly trying to fight against it.
Taylor Swift and her fearless quote basically represent the theme of my ongoing recovery battle. Fearless isn’t not having fears, it’s having so many but allowing yourself to push through the struggle.

c864954f3c1b0c1fa5b30a83902b734e Miley Cyrus represents how all of this can wreck your life and break your heart if you let it.

4a56d51aceec26f47e3ca90c85646bc8 239ca6f2cafe60304f49e2355ebf2f87

These two quotes just represent and show that there is still in fact good in the world.

805cc8c12975a0de811be265da4aee29One day, I hope to be able to say this about myself.

bfea9a09adb4500b154517f9142e7b63 and I truly believe this..


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