In two day I’ll be twenty. 20. Two whole decades. I can’t even begin to fathom that. It just seems completely insane. It’s not that I don’t feel old enough for this, it just doesn’t seem real to me. I feel like just yesterday I was playing in the backyard and going over to my grandparents house every single day. Those were the days. I kinda of miss them sometimes but I’ve also learned to love growing up, to embrace it. Coming into my own age and learning to experience all of the new things that the late teens and early twenties has to offer. I’m a little nervous but excited to start this new journey. I’m ready for whatever it has to bring me.
I’ve also been kind of secretly hoping for something lately. I’ve been hoping that this eating disorder could be considered part of my teens and just magically disappear from my twenties and I’ll be Ed free. And while this is a very nice wish, I don’t exactly think it’s practical. I’m going to have to work on this thing. I’ve been noticing lately, that my body keeps changing. I’m just telling myself that this is a product of turning 20 and becoming more of a “woman”. What a strange word. I have to learn how to-not necessarily love my body- but like my body. I have to learn that it’s a part of my but it doesn’t define me.
So, basically, I’m kind of excited or ready to turn another year older.