I go through a lot of these emotions throughout the week. Many times they range from self loathing, self love and then finally a tiny smidgen of self acceptance. Sometimes in the middle of the day, I find myself saying, ‘don’t worry about what other people think you look like. You have to accept yourself.’ Blah, blah, blah. Sure those words are good, pure and they pave a road filled with wonderful intentions, but do I really, fully, truly believe that???
I know that I talk about embracing yourself and all your imperfections, but the truth is, currently that’s my journey and what I’m currently trying to tackle. I’m trying to be a girl..err woman (I am 20 after all)..that doesn’t require validation from anyone whether it be men, friends, instragram or any person other than me. That’s an extremely difficult concept for me to wrap my mind around. For most people, I believe that its completely normal for people want to be told that they look nice. But for me, I’m trying to shy away from that. Because I have this horrendous crippling eating disorder, I’m trying to do this whole self acceptance angle. I’m trying my very, very best.
I just want to prove Ed wrong. That’s all. I want him to be gone, once and for all.
We just need to be………..