Escape The Woods

It's like the scene from Beauty and the Beast when Belle's father takes the wrong turn!

Are we out of the woods yet?

It’s a funny thing being in recovery. It’s funny how I often find myself being completely on top of things with ed and other times in a complete power struggle. I’ll find myself utterly fine with eating a cheeseburger one week and the next week just in tears for eating subway. Sometimes I’m really really proud of myself and my body and I’ve got this empowered outlook of that ‘I am a woman’ type thing. For me, this just reminds me that every time I struggle, I’m dragged back into the woods kicking and screaming and clawing at the dirt trying not to be sucked back in. It just reminds me that I’m never fully ‘out of the woods’.

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods yet?

The question really is not however, ‘are we out of the woods yet?’ but whether or not we will ever be out of the woods. While I never forget my struggle to win war with myself, I think that other people do. I think that seeing me be in a good place for a prolonged period of time put them in complete distress and confusion when they somehow see me break down. The question always asked is ‘I thought you were doing better?’ or the ever popular ‘I thought this was over?’ or quite possibly my favorite, ‘I forgot because you haven’t said anything in so long’. I don’t think you can ever stop being sensitive to the issue.

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

I’m not a broken piece of glass though. I’m not a china doll with a painted on porcelain face. You don’t have to tiptoe around my broken and fractured pieces, you just have to handle with care. Be gentle, because I’m fragile. We all are. That’s the nature of humans. While I learned not to let so many things trigger me or bother me as much, occasional comments do upset me.  can’t help or control that.

Are we in the clear yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

I’m trying to remember that recovery is always an ongoing process. I don’t know that we will ever be ‘out of the woods’, be we can always try. In the beginning, my woods used to be dark, creepy and lonely. Now, there’s just a little ray of golden sunlight, the kind just before the sun goes down.

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods?

Are we in the clear yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

The clear yet? Good.

Photographer taron22

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