Here this goes.
So, something that has become popular in today’s society is “women crushes”/ “girl crushes” etc. It’s done by both men and women. Whether it’s men who find these women insanely attractive or women who just acknowledge the fact that this famous women is pretty, I assure you, it’s a real thing. I mean, there are whole Pinterest boards devoted to this subject.
I even have some of my own: Emma Watson, Emma Stone (okay, any woman named Emma apparently), Leighton Meester, Taylor Swift, Shailene Woodley, Amiee Teegarden, I’m positive there are others but this is ALL beside the point.
My point is, I think that I have a “girl crush” on a figment of my imagination. I think that I have created an ideal image of what I am supposed to look like. I think I’ve somehow meshed and mashed all these women together and then morphed them into something that I think that I want to be. The other option is that I’ve taken myself, grown about 2 1/2 to 3 inches, grown my hair and changed pretty much how my body functions altogether.
“I want her long blonde hair, I want her magic touch.”
I was in my car the other day and that Little Big Town song came on and I suddenly related to about have the things they were singing about in that song in a completely different manner than how they meant. I realized that I want everything that this fictional and completely imagined “Kairos” has. What she smells like, her hair, her clothes, the way she smiles and laughs, her friends, carefree attitude, and whoever in the world is wanting her in this song (insert laugh track here).
“I got it real bad, want everything she has.”
“I don’t get no sleep, I don’t get no peace,
thinking about her.”
That’s the line where I realize, you can’t be constantly trying to make a “better” you. I’ve got to be happy with the person that God created me to be, whatever she may look like. I know that it’s a hard concept to fully accept who you are, but I will never find peace if I don’t start at least trying to be happy with myself.