The first week of new semesters ALWAYS brings it’s own hidden anxieties. I’m just like everyone else to falls victim to the pressure/excitement/unknown variables that a new semester brings. Of course, for me, that just adds onto the already huge dark hovering pressure of Ed and all his “glory”. I have to make and devote time to ensure my mental sanity remains at a good level. So, that’s been my struggle this week. It’s been trying to juggle a new already stressful semester and trying to focus on not what new burdens the semester brings, but here in the moment about that I actually CAN control.
Next, I found something really interesting on Pinterest the other night. Go Pinterest, Go!!! I found this pin that led to this website about a Body Image Bible Study.
I looked at it this afternoon and at first, I wasn’t all that impressed. At first, I just thought it was the same old type of study where you read the verse “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” or “You knit me in my mother’s womb.” Yeah, those verses are wonderful and all, but personally, I think those two in particular ARE OVERUSED!! Those verses were included in this, however, it also instructed you to read Psalm 139 in it’s entirety. I ran across a few points that quite honestly made me a bit teary eyed.
139:1-3:: “You searched me…you know when I sit and rise…You perceive my THOUGHTS…” WHAT?! I mean, I knew all of this, but ponder that for just a second. There isn’t a thing I do or a feeling I have that God isn’t aware that I’m experiencing. To me, this is an absolutely amazing/comforting feeling.
139:11-12:: “the darkness will hide me.” I can’t say that I haven’t thought about it. I’ve thought about ‘hiding’ from God. I thought that because of all these negative and self hating thoughts I have, I thought that God wouldn’t want me. BUT the Bible says, “even the darkness will not be dark to you.”
139:23:: “search me and know my heart….know my ANXIOUS thoughts.” This is one of the last verses and it just jumped out at me because it says the word anxious. I think my body literally runs on anxiety. It’s crazy the amount I have. There’s times at night where I can’t fall asleep for hours because I suddenly and overwhelmed with intense anxiety about everything in my life. But this clearly states that God knows them and that gives hope that you can let go.