Mac & Cheese, Please

Last night was macaroni and cheese with turkey sausage night!! (Shh, don’t tell my husband it was turkey.) Anywhooo, I was pretty unsure about this  whole mac and cheese in the crock pot situation. It seemed a little sketchy while I was making it. It was what I like to call an “experimental dinner”.

BUT!!! Thank goodness, it was actually pretty good. I used whole wheat pasta, so that gave it kind of a funky “whole wheat” taste, so I think next time I’m just going to use a regular pasta. Overall though, it was pretty much given the green light! YAY!

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What I’m trying very, very hard to do is almost force myself to eat actual food for dinner. It’s harder than you can imagine! I’m so used to eating yogurt or a protein bar or something that I think is a “safe” food. I’m working at it. Failing some day, but who doesn’t? I find myself going through these phases during the day where I’m in the “I can do this” mode. I’m motivated and I’m convinced that I can eat dinner. Then I have the other mode of “I HATE food. I HATE dinner and I HATE eating.” This usually happens after I have my dang yogurt at lunch. For some reason my brain thinks that’s so much food. I’m not even sure why…I don’t know.

What I fail to remember every single day is that I didn’t become this way overnight or even a week. I didn’t do this to myself in a month, so how can I expect myself to get better or recover in just a week or even one month?! That’s not reality and it’s so unrealistic. Everyday however, I fall victim to this thought process because I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel and finally feel good about myself. However, this is a long journey that is going to take time. I have to learn to be patient with myself, patient with my body and try to stay fearless throughout the whole process.

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Then, after dinner my husband got a wild hair and decided he wanted to watch a Disney movie 🙂 He knows I own ALOT of these movies so he had to go look in my movie drawer and he picked The Lion King. It was a very comforting way to end the evening 🙂

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