Monthly Archives: April 2016

It Wasn’t ‘Justaburger’

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If you live in or have ever been to Texas you know what this means. Or you could just read the cup..it’s clearly on there (lol).

WHATABURGER.

What a scary, scary place for me to eat. But I really really needed to. Like really. I needed to eat something that might add value and a little nutrition to my body. So, I pretty much up and did it. Milestone. I seriously can’t stress enough how big of a deal it is for me to have eaten at Whataburger and not order a salad.

I ordered the Whataburger Jr. The kid burger, I’m well aware. I also ate apples. Baby steps y’all. I don’t think I could’ve handled much more than that. (Of course, they gave me a burger with cheese on it at first. I’m not ready for that either.)

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Sorry, but we have to talk about this kangaroo bag they gave me my food in!!!!! How freakin’ cute is that?! How could you not be just a little bit excited?

This is me trying new things and trying not to blow a gasket. This is me, documenting the fact that I ate a hamburger. I can’t remember the last time I did that. That was brave. That was fearless.

All day I was apprehensive and trying to decide if I was going to really do this. I did it. Let me just say, that hamburger was pretty dang delicious.

Sometimes that burger can be referred to as a ‘Justaburger’ at that restaurant. For me, this wasn’t ‘Justaburger’ this was me telling myself that I’m trying to learn to accept myself. This was me saying that my body deserves to be nourished. I deserve to eat. I deserve for my food to taste good. I deserve to enjoy it without feeling guilty.

I don’t have a whole lot of words on this. I feel like I can’t really say more than I have. I mean, I ate a hamburger and I didn’t gain 7 pounds over night and I’m still here and all the people that love me are still loving me. It’s apparently…..okay.

So, when I came home last night and my husband asked me what I did today-besides get his mother’s Mother’s Day gift- I said….”literally all I did today was shop and eat a hamburger.” That was what I did. As insignificant as that sounds I did a ton yesterday.

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Thinking Out Loud 4/28

Thinking Out Loud this week with Amanda over on Running With Spoons 🙂

  1. All last week pretty much was rainy. This week, it’s finally starting to feel like April/beginning of May!! April showers brings May flowers? These warm days now have got me reflecting on life so often. I catch myself staring at God’s beautiful scenery, the greenery He has growing in the fields and the trees that have leaves coming back and the beautiful sunsets He paints. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So of course, I have to take pictures in it.

2. Ebay is one of THE coolest places, y’all. I hope whoever invented that site is a billionaire at this point. Genius. I can get cool stuff (that others might find dorky) likeeee…. Peanuts miniature keepsake ornaments from Hallmark!

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3. I have this thing lately where I like to save all of the inspirational quotes/body positive things I come across on Facebook. Today I have 3 to share. Leslie Knope gets me every time. Also, the dog food comparison is gold!

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I think all of these came from HerCampus.com

4. Am I the only one who is basically obsessed with decorating for the holidays even when they are nowhere near??? It’s probably just me. I’m odd like that. It’s just so fun! Maybe it stems from this is my first year to be married??? I don’t know. Actually, right now I’m obsessed with finding a wreath for our front door.

5. Do yourself a favor and look up Sheldon the Tiny Dinosaur on Pinterest or on Sheldon the Tiny Dinosaur. This is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a while! I came across him by accident on Pinterest yesterday. He’s a dinosaur that thinks he is a turtle. You can’t not smile when you see these! They have given me life….yeah, I’m such a dork.

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6. Lastly, I’ve never in my life been a watch wearing person. However, now that I’m older, I find myself in search of a wrist watch. Sure, my phone is great, but I wear dresses often and they don’t always have pockets to put my phone. Plus, it isn’t always appropriate to be whipping your phone out, especially in a classroom or meeting. I’m on a quest for a watch with a strap. NOT one of the bracelet ones….they pinch me. Ouch!

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Can I Have A Burger Now?

If you are anything like me, you have a lot of random thoughts during the day. At least, I hope I’m not the only one. Lately, I’ve had this recurring thought that I can’t seem to shake about my condition with my eating disorder, recovery and overall health.

I find myself wondering daily if working out all the time and eating “healthy” is really all worth it anymore. Sure, you should probably treat your body nicely and not just shove junk food in it all the time. But at what point do we stop? At what point does “eating healthy” stop. At what point does “healthy lifestyle” stop for me?? I keep telling myself that I can cut down on the workouts and eat different food and eat a freaking hamburger every now and then (I literally can’t remember the time I ate one. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I ate fast food.) I’m scared of it. But I just kinda want Sonic so bad! But…I’m a scaredy cat. What else can I do? When can I stop killing myself to keep fit?

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Lately, I walk around wondering when I stop torturing my body. When do I “let myself go” or “let myself live”? What is that point? I’ve been thinking lately, I’ve done the whole “super thin/fit/eating disorder look” hell, there are pictures to prove that from basically my entire college career and I’ve got bridal and wedding photos to prove that I was fairly sick. Do I really have to be that extreme anymore? Do I really have to keep trying to maintain a lifestyle where buying clothes at the store is a chore because of the size or only being able to eat certain foods on menus at restaurants because they don’t have an insane amount of calories or fat? Do I really have to constantly be a slave to some sort of running/elliptical every single day in order to maintain my current weight? Eventually, I’d like to think that I’m going to be able to take a day off from workouts and not freak the frick out or do yoga one day instead of intense cardio. There has to be a point where I can eat a sandwich on regular bread and not think anything of it, right?  I mean, there is photographic evidence in my life that I was thin and I was capable of being a thin person. I will forever have those photos. So, do I keep trekking down that road? Do I stop and suddenly eat whatever normally is?

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Does it end when I just give up working out altogether? I don’t necessarily think that’s the best idea. I think that might screw me up more. Right now I don’t have a ton going on so I would need something to fill my time. Plus, that sounds like I’m basically asking myself to be more restrictive with food. Does it end when I have a baby? If I can even have one. Does it end when I eventually get my first teaching job? I don’t think I will be able to come home from work every day and do a 30-45 minute running session. I just don’t. Which scares the ever-loving daylights out of me. You can’t even fathom how terrifying that is to me. That’s a whole bunch of change just thrown at me at once. I’ll be a first year teacher, have a job from at least 7:30-4, have to figure out dinner, commutes, and I just don’t see how workouts can always be an everyday thing. It’s scary.

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This whole thought process of mine lately is scary. I just keep wondering…..what if I wasn’t a size 2, what if it was a size 4 or 6 instead. Would that change anything? Would people suddenly think I was ridiculous or would they even notice? I’m not saying I want to go from one extreme to another (which would be having a body weight that was no longer healthy for my height) I’m just saying that what if I finally got to live like a normal person?

Also, can I just go eat something from Sonic now???

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Link Love 4/24

First order of business! In case anymore cares, I changed our bedding a couple of days ago. Spring bedding! We got this pretty quilt as a wedding gift back in October and I’m so excited to finally use it. Plus it’s from one of my favorite places, Cracker Barrel 🙂

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Fun Things/Quizzes-

Which Sabrina The Teenage Witch Character Are You? by Brittney Stephens via PopSugar. Sabrina?? I’m not really seeing it but all right Popsugar.

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Did You Know There Used to Be an Official Date Night at Disneyland? – by Tara Block via PopSugar

Just another reason that I wished I lived during the 1950s-1960s 😦

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The Real-Life Salaries Of Your Favorite TV Characters– by Anne T. Donahue via Refinery29

Healthy/ Body Positive-

You Don’t Have To Believe What You Think– by Kylie via Yeah…Imma Eat That

The last part of this was absolutely hilarious

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This Is How Women Actually Feel About Their Bodies– Refinery 29 survey

This was fairly interesting.

Why I Work Out Less- & Am Healthier Than Ever– by Jessica Migala via Refinery29

My Addiction to Exercise Made Me Infertile– Alisa Schindler via Yahoo!

This is so similar to my habits that it’s truly, truly frightening.

Something that FINALLY came in the mail this week!!! 

As you should know by now, I’m kind of a child trapped in an adult body. I like to think that part of me is this way because I just love a lot of kid oriented things and the other part is because I’m an elementary teacher.

Anywho!

I ordered the children’s Christmas movie….The Tangerine Bear! I used to watch this alllll the time at my grandparent’s house. I’m way excited about it and a bit nostalgic.

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Also! Apparently in some places ( I assume big metropolitan type cities ) McDonald’s has a McMuffin type sandwich with chicken sausage!!! I NEED this in my life!

Happy Happenings<3

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1.I thought I was going to miss Coca Cola’s names on all their bottles that they did last summer (I finally found one with Marty’s name) but I think I’m going to be a fan of these lyrics they are doing. Especially if I can get some T-Swizzle lyrics.

2. 6 month celebration, anyone? Marty had requested Pizza Hut pizza. He wanted the pizza with the garlic knots as the crust but they apparently don’t make that anymore. So I got his favorite kind of pizza….I ate a different kind.

I also got some chocolate cake for him and angel food cake for me 🙂 It’s THE best stuff! The cupcake selection turned out to be pretty lame.

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3. Instead of garlic knot pizza crust, I just got some garlic knots. Still a win, right???

4. These little guys got here yesterday!!! Mr. and Mrs. Humpty Dumpty. They are super precious. Just saying. We’ll see how long it takes for Marty to notice them.

5. My feeling about all the rain lately? Well, I’d be a bad Texan if I said I didn’t like it. I enjoy the rain. However, I do not enjoy the mud, flooding for some people and the humidity that comes with it. I actually don’t really think I mind cloudy grey skies every now and again.

6. Lastly, I saw this on the Facebook page I follow, Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW

5She has so many great posts! I find myself cheering along and saying ‘yes!’ pretty much every single time she posts a picture. I have wayyyy too many screen shots from it.

Have a happy day! 🙂

 

Link Love 4/17

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Fun/Quizzes:

Which “Zootopia” District Should You Live In? created by Disneytastic community member via Buzzfeed

I got Bunny Burrows 🙂

Kids Try 100 Years of Brown Bag Lunches– by Erin Brelsford via One Country

The poor 1930’s. And I hope these aren’t “kid” lunches because I don’t know, but should we give kids coffee? That one little boy with the green shirt cracks me up!

Lifestyle:

Woman defends ‘tiny’ wedding ring in powerful Facebook post– by Embry Roberts via Today.com

Rachel Pedersen wrote the actual Facebook post. Loved this because my ring is definitely not what most women are currently receiving as an engagement ring these days.

Here’s Why I Eat Whatever The Hell I Want– by Ashley Paige via PopSugar

Health: 

The Least Helpful Thing You Can Add to Food Labels– by Alyssa Sparacino via Shape.com

Does Eating At Night Actually Make You Fat? by Cassey Ho via Blogilates.com

Zooey Deschanel Blasts Post-Baby Body Expectations-by Ree Hines via Today.com

I’m sure that more women feel this way. I really hope they do anyway! However, it just makes me like her-and New Girl- just a little more.

Peanut Butter Swamp

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Focus On You — Here’s How– by Lisa Quast via Forbes

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Do you ever feel like you are standing completely still and the world is just whizzing by? Like you are sprinting as fast as you can but the peanut butter you are trekking through is slowing you down? It just won’t let you move any quicker than you are already going? Am I the only one who feels like I’m trying so hard, exerting all the efforts and doing everything I can the “right way” but still coming up a little short than others? Am I the only one who feels like they are stuck in a peanut butter swamp?!

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my peanut butter; but I don’t love running in it.

We’ve heard it said before that comparing yourself to others won’t get you anywhere. It won’t make you feel better about yourself. It won’t make you more successful and it doesn’t mean you are better than anybody else. Comparison creates misery. It doesn’t matter what we are comparing ourselves to others on, whether it be our body, our job, our intelligence, relationships, cooking skills, friendships or anything else under the sun, it’s all so self-destructive and damaging.

Everyone is on their own journey in life. We are all in different places. Lately, I’ve noticed in myself that as I look at these snapshots of other people’s lives on Instagram or Facebook I feel a little discouraged. I see people around my age getting married or graduating (which I’ve done both), getting a job, becoming more physically fit, reaching diet goals, reaching life goals, having a baby, traveling and seeming to have these grand successes. And I’m happy for them! I truly am but I feel like I’m standing in thick peanut butter. I can’t seem to stop myself from comparing my life to theirs! What is wrong with me?! It’s not that I’m not content with where I am. I love my life and everything God has provided me. I think that at times I just feel discouraged because I feel like I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to get a job and just come up short. Or, I see other women my age having a baby and it starts to me nervous and think… “Oh, should I be trying to have a baby? Am I getting old?!” (I know that’s an irrational thought. I’m NOT old. I also know that starting a family right now is not a road I want to venture down. However, that doesn’t stop my panic every now and then.) Then I see all the ads, progress pictures or just already in great shape women I follow and think that I’m “letting myself go”. I begin to think that I’m not pretty enough, I’m not working out hard enough and I’m going to gain all this weight and not be happy.

Here’s where my history with an eating disorder does not work in my favor. When I’m stressed out (which I already am with working towards recovery) I originally found my eating disorder voice. When I felt like I wasn’t good enough I found myself masking my emotions and feelings aside and trading them in for workouts, food restriction and cutting myself off from others. I was scared just like I am now. I have to fight so hard to keep my mind away from those thoughts. Some days they get the best of me. Some days I have to coach myself and say, “It’s okay to eat. It’s not going to make you less of a person.” or “You don’t have to run more than 4 miles. Moving a little is better than not moving at all.” I’m so terrified by other’s success that I feel like my minor ones are insignificant or even worse, failures.

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The fact that I can run 4 miles now, is a success. However, when I see these Instagram posts, “super fit pregnancy” pictures or Pinterest things with photographs of way physically fit women, I suddenly feel like less of a person and my confidence is shaken. I just start to wonder what I’m doing wrong or what else I could do to achieve their success. I feel like I’ve fallen behind. When I see someone else finally get the job they have been looking for, I begin that exact same cycle of comparison and wonder what I could do differently…..to achieve their success.

The two key words here are their success. Wait, why do I have somebody else’s success?! I AM capable of my OWN success. I just have to be patient. I have to work on myself. I have to be content with where I am in my journey in life. I don’t want someone else’s used gum, so why would I want someone else’s success? It’s already being used there. I want my own! Just like I want my own York patties, pizza and peanut butter sandwich 🙂

We haven’t “fallen behind” as we so often feel. We aren’t less of a person because we don’t look like someone else or aren’t in the exact same place as some people in our journey in life! We don’t know how long the person we are comparing ourselves to has been stuck in their own peanut butter swamp or what it took to get them to their current success. We are just us. We are all just doing the best we can. The best thing we can remember is this:

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And to remember to be patient and content-even in hard times-in our own peanut butter swamp.

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Thinking Out Loud 4/14

It’s Thursday!!! Almost Fri(YAY)! So I’m going to join in with Amanda over on Running With Spoons

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Here we GO!

1.I’ve really been searching for blogs/bloggers to follow lately. Mainly women and on topics that interest me. I’ve been really into the whole home decor/living stuff lately and I’ve slowly started to become pretty invested in Jennifer Ross and her Youtube/blog Pretty Neat Living. She’s just super cute, way organized, she seems so sweet and genuine, oh and it doesn’t hurt that she’s a new mom to a precious little girl. Check it out 🙂

2. I’ve finished my Laura Bush book Spoken From the Heart. It was a fantastic read! I would recommend that to anyone who just wanted to learn more about Laura Bush as a person. It was especially interesting if you are an educator of young minds like me 🙂

3. In other news, I’m about enter even more into ‘old lady’ status. Since I was watching Jen’s Youtube channel about just life in general, I was watching her holiday home tour and she was saying how she collects Williams and Sonoma holiday plates, a whole bunch of Peanuts decor and some cute mugs. This got me thinking……I should collect something. Y’all, I’m going to collect salt & pepper shakers. Here’s my first purchase:162031341046_1How cute are these Mr. and Mrs. Humpty Dumpty ones?! I couldn’t resist and I really wanted to start my collection.

4. I guess I must have been feeling pretty cute on Sunday. I decided I needed an outfit selfie.

5. This is what happens when your husband has been cleaning out his grandfather’s house. He brought all sorts of treasures home. Good thing I’m in love with old stuff!

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6. Lastly, on Sunday ( April 17th) my husband and I will have officially been married for 6 months 🙂 ❤ We have the top tier of our cake saved for our 1st anniversary so I think I’m gonna bring home 2 cupcakes to do a mini celebration. I’m corny like that.

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Link Love 4/10

Fun Things/Quizzes-

Which Character From “The Office” Are You? -by Anita Badejo via Buzzfeed

I got Pam Beesly. Yay, she’s my absolute favorite 🙂

9 Most Subversive Children’s Books Ever Written– by Laura T. Coffey via Today.com

I love Madeline, Curious George, The Story of Ferdinand, The Little Engine That Could AND Where The Wild Things Are ❤

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Can We Guess Your Favorite Fast Food Restaurant? – by Joe Skladany

Chick Fil A!!!! So correct!

Health/Body Image-

‘Fitspiration’: Why It Isn’t So Inspirational– by by Lexie Kite, Co-founded, Beauty Redefined via Huffington Post

Ask Yourself. Am I Doing This Because I Love My Body, Or Am I Doing This Because I Hate My Body? – by Kylie via Yeah…ImmaEatThat

New Food Labels Show How Much You Need To Exercise To Burn Off Calories– by Maggie Fox, Erika Edwards, Jane Derenowski via Today.com

NO! NO! NO!!!!! I cannot think of a harsh enough word for how much I loathe this!!!!

Lifestyle/Childhood-

The Most Popular Baby Names of 2016 (so far) Are… by Pamela Redmond Satran on Nameberry.com via Today.com

Some of these name choices……

20 Utterly Profound Winnie-the-Pooh Quotes To Make You Smile– by  A Conscious Rethink via aconsciousrethink.com

Childhood Ruined: Just How Unhealthy Was All The Food We Ate As Kids?– by Kaylin Pound via Elite Daily

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Image from: caloriecount.com and beauty&the beast

But I LOVE SpaghettiOs!!!! And Lunchables were a major stable in my elementary lunchbox days. I loved the bologna ones for some odd reason and course I also lived back when they had ‘cola’ included in them occasionally.

 

Fun Things Friday 4/8

It’s time for an edition of fun things Friday!! We all know Friday is pretty much the best day of the week so I like to celebrate with showing some “fun” things I’ve seen or done this week.

On Tuesday I went to Target to get the new Star Wars movie on DVD for Marty so naturally I did some browsing of my own. Usually at Target I really shouldn’t be permitted to shop without adult supervision, but don’t worry, I practiced more self control this time.

I was wandering around the home/bedding section and looking at all these super cute sheets, lamps and blankets. They ALL have themes now! Where were these when I was growing up?! Literally ONE TIME I had butterfly sheets and those had to be special ordered. Back in the day, I swear sheets only came in solid colors. Ahh, to be a kid in these modern times 🙂

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How cute are the strawberries and the ice cream cones?!

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These were just adorable. How sweet are these little critters and flamingos?

Also Target had these insulated water bottle things?? Not real sure what they are, but they were cute so….

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I also picked up a new sign for our front door. I don’t think that I will really use it until July, August and September which means I’m still on the hunt for the beginning summer months. Still though! I went running in an old spot that I used to run on Tuesday and I actually ended up doing something that I’ve been wanting to try. I ran a whole 4 miles! 4! Let that sink in. F O U R. How cool am I?!?! I’ve never done that. I’m so excited and proud of myself. Not that I want to run 4 miles all the time; I just wanted to see if I could do it.

Finally, we had this old bed that finally got done being re-stained. I picked it up on Wednesday and drum roll please…….VitaTops will rock your socks! They taste the magic.

Have a fabulous weekend! 🙂