Category Archives: Family

Christmas Time Is Here

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Ah, Andy Williams (he’s apparently the first one to sing it.) Anyways, Christmas time 🙂

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source: http://www.prettydesigns.com/35-christmas-quotes-you-will-love/

I haven’t written in a very, very, very long time. Mainly because I have so much to do these days and I have all these adult responsibilities now. I feel so old…ha. Even when I do get a spare moment, I like to just sit, or clean something, watch TV, of trying to frantically finish this cross stitch chart I’m doing. Tonight though, I attended the Christmas pageant at my church. This is where all the kiddos in the church get up and act out/sing about the birth of Jesus. It’s the sweetest thing! I was sitting there listening to them and watching them and laughing at/enjoying all their little quirks which got me thinking about the students in my classroom that I’m with every single day. I was sitting there trying to soak it all it and I realized that…..this is what life is about. Life is about singing, rejoicing, talking, laughing, playing, and wondering. It’s not supposed to be difficult. You aren’t supposed to spend every minute trying to control and fix every little thing. It’s about freedom and enjoying yourself and life. I was sitting in a pew with all these thoughts swirling around and coming to me and filling my heart. Maybe it’s just the Christmas spirit coming into my heart and filling it to the brim. I’m choosing to think something else though. Maybe this is God stepping into my heart and filling it even more. I found myself listening to the lyrics of Joy To The World and thinking about how much joy I was feeling and how thankful I am about how far I have come since August.

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Halloween

It’s been a long and rough 4ish months. I’m a new, first year teacher and things were TOUGH at the beginning. I found myself in tears so often and thinking I would never get the hang of anything and like I was going to have to find a different career path because this was NOT working. But I stuck it out, I dragged myself through it every day. It was hard. It was so freaking hard. But about a week ago when my students were writing letters to Santa (and telling me seamlessly unending stories about their Elf on a Shelf), I found myself reflecting on how we are almost to the end of the semester and how far I have come and how far the students in my room have come. This isn’t so bad anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like the cliffhanger at the end of a TV show each week. “Tune in next week to find out what happens on Mrs. Powell’s Corral. Will she get all her grading done? Will she be prepped and ready for next week? Will all the parents remember to pick up their children?” It’s been an interesting ride and quite the learning process so far and I can only imagine what the second semester will bring.

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I’ve come quite far in a number of aspects in life.

(Fall Festival Day. Can you see my holiday leggings?! Yes, I did find quite a few Christmas pairs!)

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That’s not to say that Ed hasn’t been here with me the last 4 months. Boy, has he. He’s there every day. But most days he has shut up a little more. He shows up every day at lunch to tell me that what I’m doing is dumb, but I’ve just gotta drown him out really. He’s there most afternoons telling me to go run my little heart out (Christmas videos and shows have been helpful entertainment lately). He’s still present. But I think he may be quieter. It’s been so hard to wrap my mind around how my body looks now. So hard. I don’t even know an expression that is great enough to explain how I feel. I’m trying to focus on the positive aspects of it and learn to accept myself.

Instead of trying to focus on the negative things I’m trying to hard to focus on the good: what’s positive, what brings me joy, what brings others joy, what makes me feel good. Like I said, maybe it’s all the Christmas décor in my house, the Christmas movies on TV, the thought of a break from school and all the Christmas crafts I’d like to do, but I’m trying to think of it as more of a healing process.

There is probably so much more I could say but I’m trying to frantically get these words out on the page before I completely lose what I have been thinking about for the past few hours. I hope you are well and are having a wonderful Christmas or Holiday Season 🙂

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We start reading The Polar Express tomorrow!

 

Fun Things Friday 7/15

Wednesday and Thursday I got to go visit the bright lights and the big city! The big city of Dallas, that is. Back a few months ago, I became really intrigued by George W. and Laura Bush. Mainly Laura, but I was interested in both of them so I figured out that there was a museum and library in Dallas on the SMU campus that you could go and visit. Soooo…I made my mom go with me. It was the coolest thing!!! I’m so glad we went. Walking through some of the exhibits I was just taken aback and tried to soak it all in.

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Through George W. Bush’s presidency, I was just a child. I was in 2nd grade when 9/11 actually happened so I only kind of know what was happening at the time. Of course, over the years, I’ve since educated myself on the matter but it was interesting to be able to walk through the exhibit and watch some of the videos, speeches, and learn what the president was doing and saying during this time in the world. I was really excited to learn that when the attack occurred that President Bush was in a classroom reading to children.

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But I also got to see prettier/lighter aspects over the course of the presidency such as state or inaugural dinner gowns. They were all SO pretty!!! I can only imagine getting to wear one of these lovely dresses.

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After we visited the museum Wednesday we did some shopping around and then needed to find a Target. On our quest to find this…we stumbled upon THE strangest/fanciest McDonald’s I have ever seen in my life. Of course I needed to be ridiculous and take a picture.

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Finally, in other news, I’ve been working on my classroom and thought I’d share a few pictures as well.

All in all, it was a really fun 2 day trip. We went to North Park Center and the Dallas Galleria and both of those malls are just like nothing I have ever experienced. Even with all of the walking and crazy, out of this world drivers I’m so glad we got to get out and explore for a couple of days.

Road Trips and Thoughts

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It was a mother/daughter mid-week trip! My Mom and I had a change of plans this past week. We were originally supposed to go to Dallas, but instead we went to visit my grandparents in Kingsville, TX.

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While we were there, of course we have to eat at 2 local iconic places: Young’s Pizza (which has wayyyyy more than pizza) and Harrel’s Soda Fountain. Harrel’s is seriously one of THE cutest places I’ve ever been to. Every time we go see my grandparents we have to go there. Especially when we visit at Christmas because that’s when they have this extra special room filled with all sorts of exciting Christmas goodies. I also may or may not have acquired some more cute salt and pepper shakers from my grandma from that store……

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Young’s Pizza: baked potato with grilled chicken and mushrooms!!

We also may or may not have done some shopping for “big girl” job type clothes. We were pretty darn successful 🙂 It was a fun and quick trip. We got to visit with my grandparents who I haven’t seen in a long time. I got my grandma to give me some classroom ideas because she was  teacher way back in the dark ages. She also started working on a classroom door sign that I wanted to make. I brought a wooden letter P for her to draw some school type things on there and write my name. I wanted to be able to hang it on my door when I finally get my classroom 🙂 She’s also a really great artist and I am most definitely not! Thankfully, she can help in that department. She hasn’t finished yet, but when she does I think she is supposed to mail it to me.

While this past week has been fun, don’t get me wrong I’ve had some major anxiety happening. I did get to run while I was on this trip but sometimes with me I feel like running isn’t enough. It’s not far enough, it’s not hard enough, it’s not ‘something’ enough. I don’t know what “enough” would be. I just feel like I’m constantlyalways falling short of whatever I have imagined “enough” being. I don’t know how to shake that feeling or how to achieve “enough” . I feel like there is something wrong with me because of the fact that I keep feeling this way. I tried so very hard these past few days to keep eating “healthy” but it just seems like it wasn’t right and it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. I guess, what I’m trying to say with all of these words is that I just feel like it’s not good enough sometimes. Maybe I feel like I’m not quite good enough? How do you become “enough” ?

All in all, this week was fun and it was great just to get away for a few days. I am very glad to be back in my comfortable bed though with my husband and 2 dogs that were extra hyper when I got home last night! 🙂

 

You Are My Sunshine

It was a weekend filled with family, love, super scary food adventures and most importantly celebrating love 🙂

This past weekend my husband and I traveled to Marathon, Texas for a family wedding. There isn’t a whole lot in this town, however the hotel we stayed at was phenomenal and the views were just spectacular! It really was a highly enjoyable weekend and great to get away for just a few hours.

We stayed at The Gage Hotel which was also the location of the wedding. It was a beautiful venue! I don’t know how the bride found it but it was lovely.

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We stayed in this old colonial style house (I think it said it was colonial. I can’t really remember all that well. Who cares, it was gorgeous.) with some other family members as we enjoyed the weekend.

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Most of my time was filled with visiting with family members, getting to know them better or just spending time with my husband. On Saturday morning Marty and I walked from our room down to this super adorable restaurant to enjoy breakfast. We were the only ones there because we are both such early risers.

I did manage to get a run in that morning as well. Marathon is really small so I basically ran the entire town as my route. The first part of the run I was basically playing photographer instead of running. The view of the “mountains” was just too neat! Very pretty. Also, windmills. Windmills everywhere! I actually find windmills a nice view by themselves.

Throughout the whole weekend I tried my very hardest to keep the screaming ED thoughts at bay. This is so difficult when they are usually so prominent. I wanted to enjoy the mini vacation and time with my husband and family. This is difficult though when I’m eating foods that are just SO foreign and sometimes you don’t even know that they are. I’m terrified of food that I don’t know the caloric content of and so I was face to face with one of my biggest fears every meal every day we were there. I was faced with people asking how my food was, asking if I had eaten and I felt like were watching me. I’m just different when it comes to food. I just want to eat it and not discuss it. Other people, normal people, that don’t have eating issues, are probably able to enjoy food more easily and discuss among themselves. It just keeps me like a cat on a hot tin roof! I tried to keep myself from being too on edge about it. I really did.

I did make one discovery at lunch Saturday though! I ate part of M’s sandwich and I learned that I think I like rye bread. I need to go to HEB asap so check this stuff out!

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Saturday evening was wedding time!!! The location for the ceremony was in the backyard of the house we were staying at and it was just gorgeous. It was simple but the scenery really took your breath away. The weather in Texas was finally cooperating as well!

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We ended the evening by having dinner at the reception and celebrating with the bride and groom.

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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray 🙂

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This weekend I had to learn to let go of some of my control. I can’t ALWAYS pack my lunch. I can’t ALWAYS know about food beforehand. I can’t ALWAYS be expected to pick the lowest calorie/most healthy choice on the menu. There are just some things I literally cannot know prior to events. I can’t let that damper my experiences though! I can’t let food keep me from having fun or a good time. I can’t let myself walk around in one giant ball of worry and anxiety because I’m worried about how this piece of bread will work in my body and where I’m going to find it in the mirror lately. Sometimes, you have to try and live in the moment and actually live.

Sometimes, you have to be fearless.

Fun Things Friday 5/13

The 1950s called…they wanted to know if they could have their housewife back.

I wish!! There’s a time period I wished I lived in 🙂

This week while I was subbing the class I was in was reading Charlotte’s Web so I got to read them a few chapters. I forgot I liked that book! It was so cute and pretty great to re-live those moments with the kiddos.

Also in positive things this week….mail.

My birthday is next week so my Grandma mailed me a birthday present. Apparently my new obsession with salt and pepper shakers has been conveyed to her because she got me these 2 cute sets!!!!! The came from this old drugstore/old style restaurant where she lives that I love to go to.

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Are the pigs not the cutest things you’ve seen?!?! They just made me smile. She also sent me her old George Foreman Grill!!! I’ve been wanting one of these! So, naturally, I already created a Pinterest board so I can make some new recipes. She did really good this year.

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When I went to the local grocery store yesterday, the checker randomly gave me a rose. I don’t know why. I think all the women that went in there yesterday received them for some reason. It was nice though. Lastly, the world just needed to know how cute I think that it is when my Grandma mails me something. Ever since I got married, whenever she mails me something she always makes sure to write “Mrs.” and my first and last name. I don’t know if other people find that cute, but I think it’s super sweet and kind of adorable.

I’m kind of a dork and still over the moon about being married 🙂

For the most part, it’s been a pretty good week. There’s my random ramblings.

Link Love: Mother’s Day Edition

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers out there!!!!

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Happy Mother’s Day to my Mommy who I have to say, is pretty amazing. We may or may not have this best friend relationship type going on. Be jealous. She’s been one of my-if not the biggest-supporter through all these years of eating disorder recovery and I could not be any more thankful 🙂 (Think Gilmore Girls) I can’t show you what I got her for MD but it’s pretty dang cute and I’m proud of the cuteness and symbolic part I got from it. Hopefully she’ll like it.

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Health/Body Positive:

Eating Recovery Day: Why We Celebrate– via Eating Recovery Center

11 Totally BS Things Life Is Too Short For– by Lindsay Holmes via Huffington Post

HA HA #5!! #6 I also think is pretty important.

Candace Cameron Bure Opens Up About Her Recovery From Bulimia– Alexandria Gomez via Women’s Health Magazine

The 5 Things Your Scale Would Say If It Could Talk– by Cayanne via HealthyEzSweet

Fun/Quizzes:

13 Stages Every Jesse & Becky ‘Shipper Experiences When Watching ‘Full House’– by Jordana Lipsitz via Bustle

They are just so sweet ❤ But Becky’s wedding dress…..”have mercy!!!”

12 ’90s Movies That Will Take You Right Back To Your Childhood Summers– by Courtney Lindley via Bustle

YES. Babysitter’s Club, Parent Trap, A League Of Their Own! Just, all of them.

When Are Bath & Body Works 90’s Scents Coming Back? – by Kali Borovic via Bustle

I’m totally guilty of wearing Cucumber Melon. (Major icky to me now!) I think it was my first scent?? I just miss Brown Sugar and Fig.

14 Things You Would Have Said To Your Parents In The 90’s– by Lara Rutherford-Morrison via Bustle

Personally, I found the Internet boring this week.

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Rest Day and Restoration

It was an Easter-filled weekend!! On Saturday, Marty and I celebrated with his side of the family by having lunch at his grandmother’s along with his cousins. I used Easter as a good excuse to get a new couple new dresses. It doesn’t help that Easter is at an awkward time of the year where it’s slightly cold and windy.

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On Sunday, we enjoyed the church service with my family and then went out to my parents’ house for an Easter barbecue lunch. It was delicious! It’s been too long since I’ve eaten barbecue. I’ve really missed it.

 

Easter with my side of the family was on Sunday. Gotta take a picture with my two boys (that’s the-not so little-little brother).

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You would not believe how unbelievably difficult it is to get my own husband to take a picture!! However, this is a pretty accurate look at the two of us.

Oh! Also, I sort of cut my hair. It’s much shorter than it was before. It’s kind of freaking me out because I’m not used to it yet but I really like it! Putting it up in a pony tail is so odd!

This whole week I’ve been struggling with the anxiety of not working out one day this week. Well, long rambling cut short, I didn’t run yesterday and I’m still living enough to type this out and I didn’t seem to gain an obnoxious amount of weight merely overnight. So, instead of going and running and spending my time in the not so warm weather yesterday I got to work on this old chest that Marty took out of storage.

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It just needed a little love and a whole lot of lemon oil. I don’t have an after picture, but I swear it looks much nicer now!!

But it was a learning experience. I learned that I don’t always have to working out. I’m trying really hard to learn about taking rest days. Was it hard? Hell yes. Am I still freaking out over and is it still kind of bugging me this afternoon? Yes, it is. But the point is that I didn’t do it, and I used the time that I had to do something other than torture myself. Plus, it was kind of fun cleaning up this old piece of furniture and doing a mini restoration. It was kind of like looking at my own life. I am that old, dirty, slightly beat up chest there in that picture, but if I take rest days and try to take care of myself then I can hopefully feel like the restored version of the chest 🙂

Easter Bunny Thoughts

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Image: http://vividscreen.info/pic/cute-white-bunny-painting/20150/for-1920×1200

Does Easter make anyone else feel..well, weird? Sad-like? No? Just me? I thought so. I don’t know why but Easter has always given me this gloomy feeling, even when I was a child. I know that even if you aren’t religious like I am that it shouldn’t be a holiday that makes you feel “sad”. If you are religious, then it’s a day you should celebrate Christ rising from the grave and saving you from enduring a life of pain and suffering. Which is just even think about if you step back and let that soak in. If you aren’t, it’s still a happy day, you think about this adorable white bunny (the Easter bunny I picture in my head is white. Yours might be brown or spotted or something. Lol) that comes and brings you eggs and best of all…..CHOCOLATE!!

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Image: https://sqonline.ucsd.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/chocolate-easter-bunny.jpg

I don’t know, maybe I’m just a weirdo. I was thinking about all of this last night while I was helping out with the children at church last night while the entire story of Easter was being read to them. As I was driving home it was still daylight and the sun was setting. It seems like I’m never going to get used to this whole spring forward nonsense, but yesterday it was a blessing because I got to see this:

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The sun was setting and the clouds were just right to create the ray of light streaming. It was beautiful. The fact that I had just listened to the Easter story and was thinking about the whole concept of Easter made me feel like God was really speaking to my heart through the sunset. It was actually very comforting.

Also yesterday I did some fun shopping 🙂 I’m very proud of my Hobby Lobby purchase for the kitchen. We have a whole bunch of empty space above our cabinets and on one side I put these old Peanuts glasses that my mom had but the other side was awkwardly empty. I’d been wanting something that sort of represented us but still fit with the theme of our kitchen. I was really sad because these super cute old timey food/diner type things just wouldn’t work —> Seriously, how cute is that burger boy?!?!?!

But it turns out I was even more successful!!! I found this sheep!! Considering my husband works most of the time with sheep and sheep seem to always be in my front yard, this was just perfect. I just felt like I couldn’t have picked anything better.

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With Easter coming up I’m having some anxiety over Easter dinners and not working out. I’m probably over compensating in areas that I shouldn’t be but I can’t really help it right now. I know that I’m almost certain to miss a workout day and that’s just kind of driving me up the wall. I’m trying to be okay with it because I really know that you actually don’t have to workout 7 days a week and that is it perfectly fine to take a rest day!! I just don’t normally do that so I’m freaking out a bit. I’m trying really hard to be at ease with it but for me that is way easier said than done. I know that God will be there with me this Easter holiday weekend though, through all the dinners (I think I have my side of the family convinced to eat Easter pizza) and hopefully a little bit of chocolate that comes my way 😉

Home Decor & Easter Cakes (TOL)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!! Don’t even think about pinching me.

I’m already Irish enough anyways.

It’s time for Amanda’s linkup over on Running With Spoons with Thinking Out Loud Thursday!!!

Thinking-Out-Loud21. Nature’s Bakery. I grabbed these at the store the other day because I liked the Nature’s Bakery fig bars and these were chocolate. I love chocolate so I couldn’t pass them up! I’m pretty sure I’m made up of half chocolate or something like that……

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Verdict: I thought they were super yummy and delicious, my mom did not share the same opinion. I think they kind of taste like a Little Debbie’s cosmic brownie (obviously they are NOT the same) but she says that they taste good, but they clearly aren’t the real deal.

2. Yesterday was shopping day in San Antonio with my Mommy 🙂 ❤ If you haven’t noticed, I hang out with my Mom a bunch. It’s my thing. Kinda similar to Gilmore Girls I guess. Anddddd the heart shaped sunglasses make their appearance 🙂

It was a day full of adventure. Which brings me to my next point…

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3. This picture has been a depiction of how I feel 99.9% of my life lately.

Since yesterday I didn’t really have the time to be a slave to running a set amount of miles or climb on top of an elliptical, I have just cycling this through my brain on repeat. I have to remember that I don’t NOT deserve to eat simply because I didn’t train as hard or go as far a I usually do. I have to remember that my worth does not change daily and it certainly isn’t measured by how far I can run or how close I can push my body to it’s breaking point. It doesn’t matter if I ran 6 miles or I only walked 3.5 yesterday. It was still okay to eat. I think…………..

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Image: http://fuckyeahfatvegans.tumblr.com/post/124159935513

4. Big cities are really the coolest sometimes. They have so much cool stuff that we don’t get to have in small town life!!!

I definitely notice that I’m beginning to change in life. I suppose that’s due to getting older, getting married and developing a more “grown up” style of life. The main way I noticed this was because when shopping yesterday I was basically forgoing all clothes browsing options and going straight home décor. I just want to decorate…like everything!

We went into a World Market for only the second time in my life and it was awesome! We so need one of these were I live. I didn’t get anything super interesting but I did get some more acrylic cups. We got some cups like that for Christmas and M uses them constantly so I’m always running the dishwasher. It seemed like a smart purchase.

5. WHOLE FOODS. It’s overwhelming and magical all at the same time! It was the first time I’d ever set foot in one. We weren’t even in the door yet and I was already in love with the place because they had my favorite flowers outside: tulips ❤

untitled2We got some interesting food items. Most importantly these Immaculate Baking Soft Pretzels!! I’m going to workout this morning and then bake them. I’m so excited because pretzels-no matter the kind- are some of my favorite things to eat.

6. Lastly, at Whole Foods…LOOK AT THESE CAKES!!

untitledEaster cakes are simply THE cutest! Check out the adorable bunny that is just too cute to eat and then the sweet lamb behind it. Easter is a holiday to me that isn’t really fun unless you have a kid or are a kid but the décor is just too precious!! There I go again with the home décor!

Random side note: I also updated my About Me page!

I hope you have a wonderful day and a fantastic rest of the week!!! 🙂 Thanks for letting me think out loud.

Finding Equilibrium

I hope that nobody ever said recovery was easy. It certainly isn’t. Not that I previous thought it was….but literally, this is a daily thing that I have to get up and decide. Some days I find myself mad at the world, at myself and at others. Some days I find myself to just be kind of sad and gloomy (which is more of today. Plus, the weather seems to be mimicking me). Every day I have to get up out of bed and decide that I want to recover. The want is a hard concept. Some days I just flat out don’t!!!! I think that my life sometimes is just living from meal to meal and trying to decide it’s outcome on me. I don’t want that for the rest of my life. That’s when I try my hardest to remember the want. There are sometimes where I don’t feel like I’m doing enough or that I’m enough. At that point, I think to myself that some days are just going to be harder than others. Not everything is perfect! And there are some days where if all I do is get up out of bed, that’s probably a victory in some way.

Boggle the Owl poses a wonderful question that I need to ask myself, and probably everyone could apply this to themselves at one point or another.

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Image Source: http://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/post/62711162750

 

I was doing a bunch of substituting last week and I would come home at the end of the day and need to go run or workout. As I would sit on the couch and try to find the will power to put on my socks and tennis shoes and thinking about how I needed to make dinner and run the vacuum for a minute, I kept asking myself, ‘How do actual working people come home every day and do this? They work all day and they are tired, then they’ve got to come home and eat/make dinner/clean something and all they really want to do is sit down for a second and watch TV. Who wants to go to the gym/workout at home/who has the time?!’ Just who the hell wants to do that?!

I’ve read it before that life is all about balance. So I guess, that’s how they do it: BALANCE. That’s a part I’m still struggling with. It’s hard to have or even fathom balance when it hasn’t existed in your life for such a long period  of time. Right now, the journey is about finding a new balance, a new equilibrium.

Speaking of balance…………here’s a look into my Sunday adventures. I went to church that morning and my mom was asking if I wanted a donut before church. Nope, no way, no how. NOT ready for that one. However, I did request 1 donut hole.

I was also trying really, really hard to make spring happen. It wasn’t going to happen. It was misty and just plain gross outside. I was just totally determined to wear this skirt, dang it!!!

In the afternoon I made my mom and one of my best friends watch Snoopy, Come Home with me-that’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back. My mom did also happen to have some cherry limeaide Jack Daniel’s….and I happen to be a fan of pretty much anything cherry limeaide flavor, so there’s that.

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