Category Archives: religion

Mood Ring

So I should have written this post the weekend of the 4th of July…..but I was literally too lazy to take the time to sit down and type. But I am doing it now, so that has to count for something right???

There’s been moments over the past few days (the July 4th weekend), that make me feel like my heart is overflowing. I find myself positively overcome with joy, love and tranquility that can only come from the Lord. Only from there. Because He loves me and us and I have the PRIVILEGE of “feeling” and “experiencing” love. How amazing is that? Soak it in. What a concept! God’s love allows us to live. It allows me to eat something terrifying (aka the peanut butter sandwich I had for lunch). It allowed me to fall in love. In love….there’s another amazing feeling. I can’t even express the pure joy this concept brings me. I can’t even grasp it. But the Lord is amazing, y’all! He allowed me to live in the wonderful country of the United States and He created people that love and are devoted enough to risk their life to protect the country God created and protect the citizens. Those willing participants are so so vital. It reminds me that God is good. Watching the fireworks yesterday while driving reminded me that the Lord provides, loves and protects.  I was in complete awe of that.  When the troubles of the world have you scared, nervous and anxious as it so often does today, remember all of the numerous wonderful things God does.

Marcy would've loved this one, hope ours is just as good. Love you and miss you, especially today.God’s hand is everywhere, take a look around. Whether it’s the random flower/tree, the love of your life next to you, your parents, sibling, or anything else imaginable, God is present.

never came to my mind so this always happens to me I am always who the WORLD wants me to be not who I want to be

The only way that I will heal and slowly feel better and possibly hear Ed less is with God. I know that everyone “sees” me feeling/doing better. In a way, that’s only slightly true. No, I don’t cry up against the bathroom door anymore, and no I don’t dig my nails deep into my thighs, but I still can’t go 1 day without running, I can’t go to a restaurant and order just anything; I can’t even walk into a restaurant without already having seen the menu and knowing calorie content.  But, I can’t do this by myself. I’ve learned this in the most difficult way. I cannot. I forget this all too often. Those fireworks reminded me in the strangest way. Honestly, the old cliche is true, God works in mysterious ways.

Perfect Peace comes from The Lord You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. -Isaiah 26:3 #peace....More at http://ibibleverses.com

The fireworks changed like mood rings and each color in a mood ring represents a different emotion, much like god has different qualities. God kind of has his own color chart.

hmm...i've been wearing a lot of purple lately....i used to be a black wearer and before that into green, turquoise and blues

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Clear Eyes…Full Hearts

The first week of new semesters ALWAYS brings it’s own hidden anxieties. I’m just like everyone else to falls victim to the pressure/excitement/unknown variables that a new semester brings. Of course, for me, that just adds onto the already huge dark hovering pressure of Ed and all his “glory”. I have to make and devote time to ensure my mental sanity remains at a good level. So, that’s been my struggle this week. It’s been trying to juggle a new already stressful semester and trying to focus on not what new burdens the semester brings, but here in the moment about that I actually CAN control.

Next, I found something really interesting on Pinterest the other night. Go Pinterest, Go!!! I found this pin that led to this website about a Body Image Bible Study.

http://vevahealth.com/2013/06/17/body-image-bible-study-2/

Tween Girl Art, Owl art, Nerd Owl. Home Decor, Inspirational Art, art print on wood by Jennifer McCully

I looked at it this afternoon and at first, I wasn’t all that impressed. At first, I just thought it was the same old type of study where you read the verse “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” or “You knit me in my mother’s womb.” Yeah, those verses are wonderful and all, but personally, I think those two in particular ARE OVERUSED!! Those verses were included in this, however, it also instructed you to read Psalm 139 in it’s entirety. I ran across a few points that quite honestly made me a bit teary eyed.

139:1-3:: “You searched me…you know when I sit and rise…You perceive my THOUGHTS…” WHAT?! I mean, I knew all of this, but ponder that for just a second. There isn’t a thing I do or a feeling I have that God isn’t aware that I’m experiencing. To me, this is an absolutely amazing/comforting feeling.

139:11-12:: “the darkness will hide me.” I can’t say that I haven’t thought about it. I’ve thought about ‘hiding’ from God. I thought that because of all these negative and self hating thoughts I have, I thought that God wouldn’t want me. BUT the Bible says, “even the darkness will not be dark to you.”

139:23:: “search me and know my heart….know my ANXIOUS thoughts.” This is one of the last verses and it just jumped out at me because it says the word anxious. I think my body literally runs on anxiety. It’s crazy the amount I have. There’s times at night where I can’t fall asleep for hours because I suddenly and overwhelmed with intense anxiety about everything in my life. But this clearly states that God knows them and that gives hope that you can let go.

JOY to the World

I’m sitting here this morning watching they Disney Parade (I’m 6, I know. No judgement please.) But as I’m sitting here, soaking up all of the Christmas morning magic it makes me consider this life and most importantly The Savior that makes this spectacular life possible.

“The Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be pregnant. She will have a son, and she will name him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14

“For to us a child is born, to use a son is given; and the government shall be rest upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6-7

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As I’ve said before, these past 2 months have been insane; both positive and negative. In 2015, my life is going to change for the better. I get the marry the love of my life! How crazy is that?! But on the negative end, my little brother has ITP, which is a a blood disorder where he doesn’t have enough platelets in his blood. He’s been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of weeks and he even went in a day before Christmas Eve. He got to come home yesterday though, and we all celebrated Christmas Eve/Christmas with him 🙂 He’s doing so much better.

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This Christmas isn’t about being pretty for me. It’s not about letting Ed live my life and control all my habits. It’s about being happy and soaking in all the love and beautiful things that God has surrounded you with. Spending time with your family and being thankful for who is present in your life and stop complaining about being ‘alone’ because you don’t have a significant other. That’s not what today is. Take your mind off the negative and refocus it on the positive aspects.

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This is a beautiful, wonderful, joyous, loving, exciting, and grand life. Let’s live in the spectacular now. Merry Christmas 🙂

Merry Christmas not happy holidays !!!!!

Is It Okay To Be Angry With God?

Is it okay for me to be angry with God????

I find myself asking this question lately. There’s quite a few yes and no’s to me. We’ll go through my long list of pros and cons in a moment, however, I think I should cover why I’m actually upset with God.

These words kept me going during a really hard time. And no truer words have ever been spoken. I am so blessed

Back about a year ago, God had just started me on this entirely new journey in my life. New relationships were forming, I was communicating with someone literally across the world, I was in the process of transferring schools, and I was about to begin the very, very long road to recovery with my eating disorder (which is what I’m still currently embarking on.) I’m not going to go into depth because that would take entirely too much time and it’s very personal. But, all of these things that were happening to me combined, was very taxing and upsetting for me. I suddenly found myself wondering if I was upset…or even, heaven forbid, angry with God. Was I? Am I? What? Is that even okay?

I’ve heard it said time and time again that you should not, could not, would not  in a box with a fox (sorry, I got a little Dr. Seuss there.) But I’ve always heard that you shouldn’t get angry with God. I do understand that, I do. I mean, He was the creator of all things, He created you, He blessed you and He has provided you with everything that you ever had or ever will have. So why in the world would you ever become angry with Him?

Welllll, I’m going to take a step back here. I believe that it is very hard to be completely happy with one person. We are human, we want things and when we don’t get them or when bad things happen to us can we always be expected to say ‘oh, I guess that’s God’s intention, I guess I better just accept it.’ That’s not logical!! Who has ever just out rightly accepted something?!

For a while, I kinda went around kicking myself and telling myself that I was doing everything wrong. Yes, I love God. I do. It wasn’t until I went to one of my very first sessions with my therapist that I felt at ease with what I was going through. I had told her that I was upset with God and I was really angry at Him for giving me- well not giving me-this eating disorder. I felt like it was really unfair. I couldn’t understand why I needed to go through this or this terrible thing needed to happen to me. It’s a painful and confusing thing to go through. I couldn’t decide if I had done something to deserve this eating disorder.

Thankfully, God was looking out for me when He allowed this eating disorder to happen to me though, He provided me with a very strong christian woman to guide me through recovery. She explained to me one day that it was completely fine for me to angry with God. I had justifiable reasoning to be upset with God. I am going through something absolutely painful and personally, I just think it’s okay to be a little upset with God. She explained that God is a big guy and that He can take me being a little upset with Him.

My boyfriend also said something that really helped me when I was telling him about how I was upset/angry with God. He said that as long as I go back and apologize and don’t stay mad at him forever, that it really will be okay.

So, to answer my question at the very beginning, I personally feel that being angry with God is acceptable. Is it something that you should be? No! Absolutely not.  I don’t believe that it is actually something you should strive to be, but I believe that if something extreme happens to you, that it’s acceptable to be upset or angry with God. You just have to keep in mind that God knows what He is doing. He’s got you in the palm of His hand. He knows that He is doing and that if you are truly His child He will lead you in the right direction and carry out His plan for your life.

words print- its ok to get angry with god

Love Is Kind

Red heart - almost as sweet as saying it - maybe sweeter

Have you ever stopped and pondered how big your-our- God is? When I sit back and think about it, I can’t even begin to fathom how great, mighty and powerful my God is. That being said, I read a post on love, choice and soul mates. Well, I for one, actually believe in the concept of soul mates. Out of the 7 or 8 billion people in the world, I believe that God can have one set person for everyone. I believe that everyone has a person. Who am I to doubt what God can do, such as bringing to two people together as one-hence “soul mates”. Many people say that you can choose who you love, like it’s a choice. As if there are people who are bad for you, good and then best for you. I just don’t agree. I think that God has a person in mind for you. Let’s take Genesis for God’s first example:

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.’ So the Lord caused the man to sleep very deeply, and while he was asleep, God removed one of the man’s ribs. The Lord God used the rib from the man to make a woman, and then he brought the woman to the man.” Genesis 2:19,21-22

Here we see God literally went out of his way to create the perfect mate for Adam-Eve. Which to me, constitutes as a soul mate. God wants us to feel love and be in love and experience all of the spectacular things that love has to offer. In order to have this love though, we must have the passion that he displays in Song of Solomon.

Twin flame, Soul mates

Yes, as humans I do suppose that we have a choice in the matter of who we love, but in reality, I believe that God leads us to the person that we are meant to be with. He can lead you across a room, across a state, across the country or even across the world to bring you to the right person.

There are all different types of love in this world. There’s worldly love and Godly love. As people tend to do, they give up on love easily, especially when it’s worldly love, they let people go. They don’t stay and fight. They don’t stick it out together through thick and thin. Even if they have tried their very hardest, however, it still make not work. You can’t “choose” to love someone even if the chemistry just isn’t there. You can’t force the love. You can’t just choose to love someone with all your hard and even when the times get tough and rough try your hardest to make it work. If something is not meant to be, no amount of trying and begging and attempting to work it out will work. Who am I to doubt that God has one person for me? Look at everything He has done in the world. Who am I to doubt? In order for love to work out, you need to have Biblical, Godly love.

1 Corinthians 13 printable I want to print this for our bedroom. It was recited during our wedding ceremony!

In the end though, I strongly, deeply, truly believe that God has a set person for everyone, a soul mate.