Category Archives: Uncategorized

You Are My Sunshine

It was a weekend filled with family, love, super scary food adventures and most importantly celebrating love 🙂

This past weekend my husband and I traveled to Marathon, Texas for a family wedding. There isn’t a whole lot in this town, however the hotel we stayed at was phenomenal and the views were just spectacular! It really was a highly enjoyable weekend and great to get away for just a few hours.

We stayed at The Gage Hotel which was also the location of the wedding. It was a beautiful venue! I don’t know how the bride found it but it was lovely.

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We stayed in this old colonial style house (I think it said it was colonial. I can’t really remember all that well. Who cares, it was gorgeous.) with some other family members as we enjoyed the weekend.

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Most of my time was filled with visiting with family members, getting to know them better or just spending time with my husband. On Saturday morning Marty and I walked from our room down to this super adorable restaurant to enjoy breakfast. We were the only ones there because we are both such early risers.

I did manage to get a run in that morning as well. Marathon is really small so I basically ran the entire town as my route. The first part of the run I was basically playing photographer instead of running. The view of the “mountains” was just too neat! Very pretty. Also, windmills. Windmills everywhere! I actually find windmills a nice view by themselves.

Throughout the whole weekend I tried my very hardest to keep the screaming ED thoughts at bay. This is so difficult when they are usually so prominent. I wanted to enjoy the mini vacation and time with my husband and family. This is difficult though when I’m eating foods that are just SO foreign and sometimes you don’t even know that they are. I’m terrified of food that I don’t know the caloric content of and so I was face to face with one of my biggest fears every meal every day we were there. I was faced with people asking how my food was, asking if I had eaten and I felt like were watching me. I’m just different when it comes to food. I just want to eat it and not discuss it. Other people, normal people, that don’t have eating issues, are probably able to enjoy food more easily and discuss among themselves. It just keeps me like a cat on a hot tin roof! I tried to keep myself from being too on edge about it. I really did.

I did make one discovery at lunch Saturday though! I ate part of M’s sandwich and I learned that I think I like rye bread. I need to go to HEB asap so check this stuff out!

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Saturday evening was wedding time!!! The location for the ceremony was in the backyard of the house we were staying at and it was just gorgeous. It was simple but the scenery really took your breath away. The weather in Texas was finally cooperating as well!

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We ended the evening by having dinner at the reception and celebrating with the bride and groom.

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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray 🙂

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This weekend I had to learn to let go of some of my control. I can’t ALWAYS pack my lunch. I can’t ALWAYS know about food beforehand. I can’t ALWAYS be expected to pick the lowest calorie/most healthy choice on the menu. There are just some things I literally cannot know prior to events. I can’t let that damper my experiences though! I can’t let food keep me from having fun or a good time. I can’t let myself walk around in one giant ball of worry and anxiety because I’m worried about how this piece of bread will work in my body and where I’m going to find it in the mirror lately. Sometimes, you have to try and live in the moment and actually live.

Sometimes, you have to be fearless.

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Link Love 5/29

It’s already the end of May?!?!?!! WHAT?!?! How is it that as we age time flies so much quicker than it used to?

I feel like this week has been endless. Seriously. However, I did find out something exciting (well, exciting if you are a school dork like me). I found out our school-wide theme!!! RANCH! How super cute?!

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Quizzes/Fun:

What Kind Of Pancakes Are You? by Nathan W. Pyle via Buzzfeed

I got whole wheat oatmeal pancakes. That’s probably totally what I would eat, but I sound super lame and boring.

‘Girl Meets World’ New Opening Sequence– by Maddy Foley via Yahoo! and HelloGiggles

This is important!!

Here’s How the New Fruity Crisp and Blueberry Pie Oreos Really Taste– by Erin Cullum via PopSugar

Blueberry Pie and Fruity Crisp??? Like Fruity Pebbles? Kay then…….

I’m not sure how I feel about the 15 different kinds of flavors of Oreos (or whatever the real number is). I feel like when I was a kid there was only one or two kinds. I also remember when they made the inside out Oreo and I thought it was SUCH a big deal.

Life/Love/Health:

16 Love Idioms From Around the World (Illustrated by Elly Walton)– by Bibi Deitz via Bustle8bf85a00-0426-0134-e750-0a315da82319

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Does Baking Help Mental Health? by JR Thorpe via Bustle

Some Things You Can’t Wake Up From– by Cayanne via HealthyEzSweetLife

This Is Why Some of Us Talk in Our Sleep– by Vicky Chandler via GoodHouseKeeping

In case you were just curious.

Also, you need to try this. Warning: it is kind of addicting. I was trying to think of all the names of people I know. Mine doesn’t work because my parents think it’s cool to name you obscure names, but it’s still cool!

Find Out What Your Name Would Be If You Were Born Today– by Chris Wilson via Time

 

Thinking Out Loud 5/18

Linking up with Amanda over on Running with Spoons for a Thinking Out Loud again 🙂 It’s been a very, very nice week 🙂 Amanda’s Blog

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  1. I had a really important job interview this past Monday morning. So, naturally, after my interview I OF COURSE carried on my tradition of an after interview Coke Zero and a selfie. I was really nervous, but it turned out that I think it’s going to end up being a new adventure 🙂

2. I can finally sing the Taylor Swift 22 song!!! Yay!! “Everything will be alright, if we just keep dancing like we’re 22!!!!” I’m pretty pumped.

3. Apparently, I no longer live in Texas. I live in Seattle or some sort of rain forest or permanent tropical storm. I know, I know, I’m a bad Texan for wishing away the rain, but it’s the middle of May, it’s yet to be actually sunny and it’s a whopping 58 degrees.

4. My little brother is now in NHS. He’s so cute, he wanted to take a picture with me yesterday 🙂 He’s getting too old!!!

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5. Lastly, birthday stuff!!!! Part of Marty’s present was this mug. It cracks me up and is pretty true. He’s adorable. 2016-05-17 20.22.21

My mom got me these super adorable Raggedy Ann salt and pepper shakers and a watch! I’ve learned through subbing that as a teacher, wearing a watch is super useful because you don’t always have a pocket to check your phone.

Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Thinking Out Loud

Link Love: Mother’s Day Edition

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers out there!!!!

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Happy Mother’s Day to my Mommy who I have to say, is pretty amazing. We may or may not have this best friend relationship type going on. Be jealous. She’s been one of my-if not the biggest-supporter through all these years of eating disorder recovery and I could not be any more thankful 🙂 (Think Gilmore Girls) I can’t show you what I got her for MD but it’s pretty dang cute and I’m proud of the cuteness and symbolic part I got from it. Hopefully she’ll like it.

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Health/Body Positive:

Eating Recovery Day: Why We Celebrate– via Eating Recovery Center

11 Totally BS Things Life Is Too Short For– by Lindsay Holmes via Huffington Post

HA HA #5!! #6 I also think is pretty important.

Candace Cameron Bure Opens Up About Her Recovery From Bulimia– Alexandria Gomez via Women’s Health Magazine

The 5 Things Your Scale Would Say If It Could Talk– by Cayanne via HealthyEzSweet

Fun/Quizzes:

13 Stages Every Jesse & Becky ‘Shipper Experiences When Watching ‘Full House’– by Jordana Lipsitz via Bustle

They are just so sweet ❤ But Becky’s wedding dress…..”have mercy!!!”

12 ’90s Movies That Will Take You Right Back To Your Childhood Summers– by Courtney Lindley via Bustle

YES. Babysitter’s Club, Parent Trap, A League Of Their Own! Just, all of them.

When Are Bath & Body Works 90’s Scents Coming Back? – by Kali Borovic via Bustle

I’m totally guilty of wearing Cucumber Melon. (Major icky to me now!) I think it was my first scent?? I just miss Brown Sugar and Fig.

14 Things You Would Have Said To Your Parents In The 90’s– by Lara Rutherford-Morrison via Bustle

Personally, I found the Internet boring this week.

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Little Susie Homemaker

When I don’t have to go to work all day, I can be domestic. I’m kinda like Betty Crocker…if Betty wasn’t a baker. Whoever that would make me.20160502_17380520160502_174954

Baked potatoes (one regular and one sweet) and broccoli and chicken with cheese 🙂 Side note: sweet potatoes are one of THE best foods in my opinion. Plus, I actually ate dinner that was actual solid food that you have to chew. There’s a win in that department. My husband should be proud.

I have to brag on him for just a minute. Since he and I talked last week, every single day he has made sure to ask me what I ate for dinner if he didn’t see me consume it or make it. He’s been working at night this last week and this coming week because it’s hay baling time at the ranch. It’s been a big deal that he’s actually remembered that I should probably eat some solid foods and remembered to ask me. It’s sweet 🙂 It’s also very nice and comforting to know he cares about me that much and is trying to take care of me.

 There’s dinner!

Finally, I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again. Weather (especially Texas weather) is ridiculous! I checked my TimeHop this morning and 2 years ago I tweeted something about this same time of year.

I thought it was my birth month and I thought it was supposed to start becoming warmer! Not all rainy and fall weather like. You’ve just got to appreciate the springtime.

 

Link Love 5/1

Happy May!!!!!! I actually really like this month. It’s also my birth month!

Fun/Quizzes-

11 Fashion Trends ‘Mean Girls’ Started-by Phoebe Waller via Bustle

Here’s What Weddings Looked Like The Year You Were Born– by Country Living Staff via Good Housekeeping

I’m soooo the “Pinterest Bride” generation. My kids are so going to make fun of that one day.

Which “Play School” Toy Are You? by Jenna Guillaume via Buzzfeed

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Laughs/Sweet Moments-

This Is How Breakfast Should Look According To Kids-  by IHOP via Buzzfeed

A cake…but instead of a cake, it’s waffles. What?! Kids are hilarious.

Military Dads Sign Up For Teatime Sessions With Their Daughters- by Marina Liao via PopSugar 

Body Positive-

Your Body Isn’t The Problem- by Amanda Tarlton via Real Life Recovery Diary

The Recovering Girl’s Guide To Working Out- by Cayanne via HealthyEzSweet Life

This. Is. Gold.

A Friendly Reminder That It’s OK To Love Your Body Exactly How It Is- by Dominique Astorino via PopSugar

These are all fantastic!

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It Wasn’t ‘Justaburger’

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If you live in or have ever been to Texas you know what this means. Or you could just read the cup..it’s clearly on there (lol).

WHATABURGER.

What a scary, scary place for me to eat. But I really really needed to. Like really. I needed to eat something that might add value and a little nutrition to my body. So, I pretty much up and did it. Milestone. I seriously can’t stress enough how big of a deal it is for me to have eaten at Whataburger and not order a salad.

I ordered the Whataburger Jr. The kid burger, I’m well aware. I also ate apples. Baby steps y’all. I don’t think I could’ve handled much more than that. (Of course, they gave me a burger with cheese on it at first. I’m not ready for that either.)

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Sorry, but we have to talk about this kangaroo bag they gave me my food in!!!!! How freakin’ cute is that?! How could you not be just a little bit excited?

This is me trying new things and trying not to blow a gasket. This is me, documenting the fact that I ate a hamburger. I can’t remember the last time I did that. That was brave. That was fearless.

All day I was apprehensive and trying to decide if I was going to really do this. I did it. Let me just say, that hamburger was pretty dang delicious.

Sometimes that burger can be referred to as a ‘Justaburger’ at that restaurant. For me, this wasn’t ‘Justaburger’ this was me telling myself that I’m trying to learn to accept myself. This was me saying that my body deserves to be nourished. I deserve to eat. I deserve for my food to taste good. I deserve to enjoy it without feeling guilty.

I don’t have a whole lot of words on this. I feel like I can’t really say more than I have. I mean, I ate a hamburger and I didn’t gain 7 pounds over night and I’m still here and all the people that love me are still loving me. It’s apparently…..okay.

So, when I came home last night and my husband asked me what I did today-besides get his mother’s Mother’s Day gift- I said….”literally all I did today was shop and eat a hamburger.” That was what I did. As insignificant as that sounds I did a ton yesterday.

Thinking Out Loud 4/28

Thinking Out Loud this week with Amanda over on Running With Spoons 🙂

  1. All last week pretty much was rainy. This week, it’s finally starting to feel like April/beginning of May!! April showers brings May flowers? These warm days now have got me reflecting on life so often. I catch myself staring at God’s beautiful scenery, the greenery He has growing in the fields and the trees that have leaves coming back and the beautiful sunsets He paints. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So of course, I have to take pictures in it.

2. Ebay is one of THE coolest places, y’all. I hope whoever invented that site is a billionaire at this point. Genius. I can get cool stuff (that others might find dorky) likeeee…. Peanuts miniature keepsake ornaments from Hallmark!

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3. I have this thing lately where I like to save all of the inspirational quotes/body positive things I come across on Facebook. Today I have 3 to share. Leslie Knope gets me every time. Also, the dog food comparison is gold!

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I think all of these came from HerCampus.com

4. Am I the only one who is basically obsessed with decorating for the holidays even when they are nowhere near??? It’s probably just me. I’m odd like that. It’s just so fun! Maybe it stems from this is my first year to be married??? I don’t know. Actually, right now I’m obsessed with finding a wreath for our front door.

5. Do yourself a favor and look up Sheldon the Tiny Dinosaur on Pinterest or on Sheldon the Tiny Dinosaur. This is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a while! I came across him by accident on Pinterest yesterday. He’s a dinosaur that thinks he is a turtle. You can’t not smile when you see these! They have given me life….yeah, I’m such a dork.

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6. Lastly, I’ve never in my life been a watch wearing person. However, now that I’m older, I find myself in search of a wrist watch. Sure, my phone is great, but I wear dresses often and they don’t always have pockets to put my phone. Plus, it isn’t always appropriate to be whipping your phone out, especially in a classroom or meeting. I’m on a quest for a watch with a strap. NOT one of the bracelet ones….they pinch me. Ouch!

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Can I Have A Burger Now?

If you are anything like me, you have a lot of random thoughts during the day. At least, I hope I’m not the only one. Lately, I’ve had this recurring thought that I can’t seem to shake about my condition with my eating disorder, recovery and overall health.

I find myself wondering daily if working out all the time and eating “healthy” is really all worth it anymore. Sure, you should probably treat your body nicely and not just shove junk food in it all the time. But at what point do we stop? At what point does “eating healthy” stop. At what point does “healthy lifestyle” stop for me?? I keep telling myself that I can cut down on the workouts and eat different food and eat a freaking hamburger every now and then (I literally can’t remember the time I ate one. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I ate fast food.) I’m scared of it. But I just kinda want Sonic so bad! But…I’m a scaredy cat. What else can I do? When can I stop killing myself to keep fit?

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Lately, I walk around wondering when I stop torturing my body. When do I “let myself go” or “let myself live”? What is that point? I’ve been thinking lately, I’ve done the whole “super thin/fit/eating disorder look” hell, there are pictures to prove that from basically my entire college career and I’ve got bridal and wedding photos to prove that I was fairly sick. Do I really have to be that extreme anymore? Do I really have to keep trying to maintain a lifestyle where buying clothes at the store is a chore because of the size or only being able to eat certain foods on menus at restaurants because they don’t have an insane amount of calories or fat? Do I really have to constantly be a slave to some sort of running/elliptical every single day in order to maintain my current weight? Eventually, I’d like to think that I’m going to be able to take a day off from workouts and not freak the frick out or do yoga one day instead of intense cardio. There has to be a point where I can eat a sandwich on regular bread and not think anything of it, right?  I mean, there is photographic evidence in my life that I was thin and I was capable of being a thin person. I will forever have those photos. So, do I keep trekking down that road? Do I stop and suddenly eat whatever normally is?

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Does it end when I just give up working out altogether? I don’t necessarily think that’s the best idea. I think that might screw me up more. Right now I don’t have a ton going on so I would need something to fill my time. Plus, that sounds like I’m basically asking myself to be more restrictive with food. Does it end when I have a baby? If I can even have one. Does it end when I eventually get my first teaching job? I don’t think I will be able to come home from work every day and do a 30-45 minute running session. I just don’t. Which scares the ever-loving daylights out of me. You can’t even fathom how terrifying that is to me. That’s a whole bunch of change just thrown at me at once. I’ll be a first year teacher, have a job from at least 7:30-4, have to figure out dinner, commutes, and I just don’t see how workouts can always be an everyday thing. It’s scary.

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This whole thought process of mine lately is scary. I just keep wondering…..what if I wasn’t a size 2, what if it was a size 4 or 6 instead. Would that change anything? Would people suddenly think I was ridiculous or would they even notice? I’m not saying I want to go from one extreme to another (which would be having a body weight that was no longer healthy for my height) I’m just saying that what if I finally got to live like a normal person?

Also, can I just go eat something from Sonic now???

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Happy Happenings<3

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1.I thought I was going to miss Coca Cola’s names on all their bottles that they did last summer (I finally found one with Marty’s name) but I think I’m going to be a fan of these lyrics they are doing. Especially if I can get some T-Swizzle lyrics.

2. 6 month celebration, anyone? Marty had requested Pizza Hut pizza. He wanted the pizza with the garlic knots as the crust but they apparently don’t make that anymore. So I got his favorite kind of pizza….I ate a different kind.

I also got some chocolate cake for him and angel food cake for me 🙂 It’s THE best stuff! The cupcake selection turned out to be pretty lame.

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3. Instead of garlic knot pizza crust, I just got some garlic knots. Still a win, right???

4. These little guys got here yesterday!!! Mr. and Mrs. Humpty Dumpty. They are super precious. Just saying. We’ll see how long it takes for Marty to notice them.

5. My feeling about all the rain lately? Well, I’d be a bad Texan if I said I didn’t like it. I enjoy the rain. However, I do not enjoy the mud, flooding for some people and the humidity that comes with it. I actually don’t really think I mind cloudy grey skies every now and again.

6. Lastly, I saw this on the Facebook page I follow, Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW

5She has so many great posts! I find myself cheering along and saying ‘yes!’ pretty much every single time she posts a picture. I have wayyyy too many screen shots from it.

Have a happy day! 🙂