Tag Archives: 4th of july

Patriotic York Patties & Coke Zero Thoughts

Recovery is hard y’all. Getting to a “healthy” weight is hard. Hearing that “you look ‘healthy’ now” are very difficult words to swallow.

Today has been a pretty good/relaxing day. Happy 4th of July 🙂 I spent my day going for a run, doing some cleaning up, doing some odd cleaning jobs and working on my Christmas cross stitch (welcome to Christmas in July haha). I just finished making dinner (hamburgers/cheeseburgers I was trying to make the All-American meal) and I was sitting here drinking my Coke Zero and patriotic York patties and decided I would write I guess.

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I’ve been having a rough time lately. I don’t think anybody has really noticed but I haven’t exactly been trying to broadcast it either. I do find myself being able to eat dinner more often, however as long as I think it’s “good”, “safe”, “low calorie/low fat”. Nevertheless, I eat dinner more consistently. Lately though, I find myself with these thoughts of ‘I need to eat less tomorrow’, ‘maybe I should try skipping breakfast’ (HA. That one is super funny for me), ‘we need to work out harder’ (uh…I don’t know how I could go any harder. Crazy Ed!), or thoughts from that realm. They aren’t positive thoughts and they don’t bring goodness or happiness. They bring sorrow, fatigue, ache, rejection of myself, self-disappointment and fear. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life!

Honestly, my life is going pretty darn well right now. I just got the keys to my very first classroom last week and I get to clean it out and decorate it and really make it my school home. That’s so exciting for me. I need exciting and happy things in my life; I don’t need to be bogged down by what the heck I’m eating for lunch and worrying about if it’s going to make my students, co-workers, family, friends or husband like me less!! I’d love to be able to blame the restriction mentality on the fact that I just got my room and I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Seriously. I went to 3 ½ years of school for this degree and I feel so unprepared…hahaha. I’m sure lots of people feel this way though. I’ve been reassured that everyone feels the nerves, anxiety and fear when they start a new job. I read this article today (it was slightly on the dirty-ish side but not really). Anyways, it was about body image in the bedroom. It was a lengthy article but it was also helpful in more than one way. It was talking about ways to make you feel better about yourself and being proud of yourself. The author also talked about how your partner doesn’t solely love you for your body. Your family and friends don’t love you solely for your body. I didn’t get my first teaching job because I eat a bunch of yogurt, fruit and “healthy” foods. The author said to turn the situation around and think about if your spouse, friends or family looked a little differently would it have any effect on how much you love and care about them? NO! Heck no! Reading that article today did help me in its own strange way. Here’s the link if you actually want to read it Body Image In The Bedroom by Sarah Vance.

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Right now, I’m trying so hard to not center my life around my freaking food and flipping workout schedule. Trying. So. Hard. There is really more to life than meal planning and doing the same workout routine right on schedule every day.

Basically, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Andddddd because I’m a dork and super-duper excited, here’s a picture of my classroom. Definitely the “before” shot!!!!!

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Oh! Also my Grandma started painting this “P” for me a few weeks ago when I was down there and she mailed it to me this week. She’s super sweet and this turned out so cute! Looking forward to finding a place in my new room to hang it.

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Link Love 7/3

I’ve been meaning to get around to writing an actual post this week but I just couldn’t make myself do it. It’s been a long week. I officially got my school keys for my new classroom and so I’ve been up in my room trying to sort and organize. I’ve also been trying to get ideas together so I can make the room come together. Then finally, I’ve been working on this new cross stitch pattern I recently got. I just feel like I’ve been a busy bee.

I’ll try to get around to it this week.

Interesting/Fun:

Every Wonder Why There’s an “R” in “Mrs.”? -by Lauren Piro via Good Housekeeping

11 Times ‘Disney’ Subplots Upstaged The Main Storylines In These Classic Animated Features-by Mary Grace Garis via Bustle

This article was great. As much as mice give me the creeps they are seriously one of the best parts of Cinderella (the best part being that dress!!!) Also the fairies in Sleeping Beauty may or may not be my favorite characters and as much as I love pink, Aurora’s dress was best in blue.

These 15 Outdated Lizzie McGuire Outfits Will Make You All Sorts of 00’s Nostalgic-by Lindsey Rose Black via Bustle

So. Much. Tie-Dyed.

Body Positive:

A Third of Us Would Rather See A Dentist Than Be Seen In a Bikini– by Sarah Jacoby via Bustle

Why This Celebrity Trainer Opened Up About Her Eating Disorder– by Sara Coughlin via Bustle

I just love her. I really miss being able to do her workout videos. Dang county living (we don’t have enough Internet for me to be able to stream it.)

Miss Teen USA to Eliminate Swimsuit Competition– by Maeve McDermott via USA Today

4th of July-

8 Things You Never Knew About the Fourth of July– by Megan Harney via Good House Keeping

This is from a year ago but it was still pretty neat.

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Image Source

I’m also making these today for my brother to take to this 4th of July party type thing he’s going to. They look pretty yummy to me!

Patriotic Sugar Cookie Bars

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Two in the Kitchen’s Patriotic Sugar Cookie Bars

Mood Ring

So I should have written this post the weekend of the 4th of July…..but I was literally too lazy to take the time to sit down and type. But I am doing it now, so that has to count for something right???

There’s been moments over the past few days (the July 4th weekend), that make me feel like my heart is overflowing. I find myself positively overcome with joy, love and tranquility that can only come from the Lord. Only from there. Because He loves me and us and I have the PRIVILEGE of “feeling” and “experiencing” love. How amazing is that? Soak it in. What a concept! God’s love allows us to live. It allows me to eat something terrifying (aka the peanut butter sandwich I had for lunch). It allowed me to fall in love. In love….there’s another amazing feeling. I can’t even express the pure joy this concept brings me. I can’t even grasp it. But the Lord is amazing, y’all! He allowed me to live in the wonderful country of the United States and He created people that love and are devoted enough to risk their life to protect the country God created and protect the citizens. Those willing participants are so so vital. It reminds me that God is good. Watching the fireworks yesterday while driving reminded me that the Lord provides, loves and protects.  I was in complete awe of that.  When the troubles of the world have you scared, nervous and anxious as it so often does today, remember all of the numerous wonderful things God does.

Marcy would've loved this one, hope ours is just as good. Love you and miss you, especially today.God’s hand is everywhere, take a look around. Whether it’s the random flower/tree, the love of your life next to you, your parents, sibling, or anything else imaginable, God is present.

never came to my mind so this always happens to me I am always who the WORLD wants me to be not who I want to be

The only way that I will heal and slowly feel better and possibly hear Ed less is with God. I know that everyone “sees” me feeling/doing better. In a way, that’s only slightly true. No, I don’t cry up against the bathroom door anymore, and no I don’t dig my nails deep into my thighs, but I still can’t go 1 day without running, I can’t go to a restaurant and order just anything; I can’t even walk into a restaurant without already having seen the menu and knowing calorie content.  But, I can’t do this by myself. I’ve learned this in the most difficult way. I cannot. I forget this all too often. Those fireworks reminded me in the strangest way. Honestly, the old cliche is true, God works in mysterious ways.

Perfect Peace comes from The Lord You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. -Isaiah 26:3 #peace....More at http://ibibleverses.com

The fireworks changed like mood rings and each color in a mood ring represents a different emotion, much like god has different qualities. God kind of has his own color chart.

hmm...i've been wearing a lot of purple lately....i used to be a black wearer and before that into green, turquoise and blues