I’m been having quite few bad/off days lately and for a while, I couldn’t put my finger on what was bothering me so much. Well, aside from the fact that I literally have on going battle and a long road to full recovery, I decided that it had to do with this upcoming weekend. Now, don’t laugh when you read this. Pretty please. One word, 5 letters.
This weekend it is my hometowns rodeo, and I usually go, which isn’t that big of a deal. I mean, it’s just a rodeo, what’s the big deal right? And what do pants have to do with anything? Good question, I’m sooo glad you asked. Well, normal people that don’t think about food, body image and how others perceive them every second don’t even think twice about putting on their clothes. To them putting on their pants is merely another step to getting ready for the day or whatever event they go to. For me though, pants are apart of a very scary thing to me. It scares me to even think about the idea of putting these pants on in 3 days. I have actually purposely been avoiding wearing jeans for months now. I love these jeans that I own, they just put this gigantic shock wave of fear pulsing throughout my body.
I feel so incredibly silly saying that I have this fear of my own blue jeans! It sounds goofy. This is a legitimate fear for me though. For me to put these pants on is a huge step. I’m going to do it, so there are no worries there, but it’s going to take a huge amount of effort. I’m going to take control of those jeans, pull them on and show them who is really the boss here. I can do this.
Here’s my final point I want to make. Let’s all remember to think before we speak please. It’s such a true statement that you never truly know what is going through a person’s mind. They could be stressing over their job, their relationship, money, or having thoughts that they simply aren’t good enough to be in those blue jeans they have on. Just remember, everyone is going through something, whether they look like it or not; because not everyone actually looks like they are suffering from an eating disorder.