I saw a posts this week circling around the web and I watched it on the Today Show that Cheerios is coming out with Pumpkin Spice flavored Cheerios. With this week I’ve been having and all the longing for fall I’ve been doing, this is almost music to my ears. As much as I think there are way too many pumpkin spice things in the world, I still can’t resist! 🙂
This will make your life. They are just great! I feel every one of these every time I work out.
I can’t believe that I’m about to become a functional adult in society. I start my first day of work on Wednesday. There aren’t any students there yet but I still have to start doing all the behind the scenes teacher work. I’m pretty super freaking nervous/worried/slightly excited. Surely everything will turn out alright? Wish me luck! This is the beginning of a whole new adventure.
Y’all. You need these Hillshire Farm Turkey Lit’L Smokies in your life. I didn’t know what I was missing. I bought them on impulse yesterday while I was looking for hotdogs for M. Don’t anyone tell me if they are healthy or not because I seriously don’t care.
New Favorite Obsession:
Scandal. I’m having withdrawals. I started watching it on my parents’ Netflix account but I can’t use Netflix at my house. I’m currently very impatiently waiting for the rest of season 1 and season 2 to arrive in the mail. I’ve been majorly sucked into Shonda Rhimes’ shows.
Y’all. I’m pretty much obsessed/fascinated with all things Olympic gymnastics and I have been ever since I was a kid. I remember dancing and twirling around my living room trying to do gymnastics. Emphasis on the trying part. I’m so excited to watch again this year!!
It’s been a rough week y’all. I’ve been doing a lot of trying to find good articles to read to try to push me through to the next day. Thank goodness there are so many wonderful, helpful and insightful writers/bloggers out there 🙂
I feel this way all the time. I feel like I’m not supposed to be or feel hungry. Like I’m supposed to be able to control that and suppress that feeling on my own. It’s okay to feel hungry and BE hungry.
Things I Did This Week:
Helped a turtle across the highway. I turned my car all the way around to go aid this slow little fellow.
Found some interesting things in my classroom. Old Disney records anyone? I also did a whole bunch of laminating….ugh and yay at the same time.
Finally! I took my name plate and my mug my husband got me up to my classroom and set them on my desk 🙂 Not that I am done setting up in there quite yet.
Recovery is hard y’all. Getting to a “healthy” weight is hard. Hearing that “you look ‘healthy’ now” are very difficult words to swallow.
Today has been a pretty good/relaxing day. Happy 4th of July 🙂 I spent my day going for a run, doing some cleaning up, doing some odd cleaning jobs and working on my Christmas cross stitch (welcome to Christmas in July haha). I just finished making dinner (hamburgers/cheeseburgers I was trying to make the All-American meal) and I was sitting here drinking my Coke Zero and patriotic York patties and decided I would write I guess.
I’ve been having a rough time lately. I don’t think anybody has really noticed but I haven’t exactly been trying to broadcast it either. I do find myself being able to eat dinner more often, however as long as I think it’s “good”, “safe”, “low calorie/low fat”. Nevertheless, I eat dinner more consistently. Lately though, I find myself with these thoughts of ‘I need to eat less tomorrow’, ‘maybe I should try skipping breakfast’ (HA. That one is super funny for me), ‘we need to work out harder’ (uh…I don’t know how I could go any harder. Crazy Ed!), or thoughts from that realm. They aren’t positive thoughts and they don’t bring goodness or happiness. They bring sorrow, fatigue, ache, rejection of myself, self-disappointment and fear. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life!
Honestly, my life is going pretty darn well right now. I just got the keys to my very first classroom last week and I get to clean it out and decorate it and really make it my school home. That’s so exciting for me. I need exciting and happy things in my life; I don’t need to be bogged down by what the heck I’m eating for lunch and worrying about if it’s going to make my students, co-workers, family, friends or husband like me less!! I’d love to be able to blame the restriction mentality on the fact that I just got my room and I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Seriously. I went to 3 ½ years of school for this degree and I feel so unprepared…hahaha. I’m sure lots of people feel this way though. I’ve been reassured that everyone feels the nerves, anxiety and fear when they start a new job. I read this article today (it was slightly on the dirty-ish side but not really). Anyways, it was about body image in the bedroom. It was a lengthy article but it was also helpful in more than one way. It was talking about ways to make you feel better about yourself and being proud of yourself. The author also talked about how your partner doesn’t solely love you for your body. Your family and friends don’t love you solely for your body. I didn’t get my first teaching job because I eat a bunch of yogurt, fruit and “healthy” foods. The author said to turn the situation around and think about if your spouse, friends or family looked a little differently would it have any effect on how much you love and care about them? NO! Heck no! Reading that article today did help me in its own strange way. Here’s the link if you actually want to read it Body Image In The Bedroom by Sarah Vance.
Right now, I’m trying so hard to not center my life around my freaking food and flipping workout schedule. Trying. So. Hard. There is really more to life than meal planning and doing the same workout routine right on schedule every day.
Basically, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Andddddd because I’m a dork and super-duper excited, here’s a picture of my classroom. Definitely the “before” shot!!!!!
Oh! Also my Grandma started painting this “P” for me a few weeks ago when I was down there and she mailed it to me this week. She’s super sweet and this turned out so cute! Looking forward to finding a place in my new room to hang it.
1. First things first! I finally finished my latest cross stitch pattern (don’t worry, I already ordered another. One could say I’m a bit obsessed.) The one I just finished was Alice in Wonderland themed. Personally, I think it’s super cute. It’s the biggest and most complex one I’ve completed so far. I’m awful proud of myself.
2. I thought Pretty Little Liars was kind of uneventful this week…for being the premiere and all. Honestly, I’m not that into the show anymore, mainly because I just can’t keep track of all the characters, all the crazy random things from seasons back that seem to suddenly matter and I just can’t remember all the wacky things that have occurred over the seasons. I just forget! Quite frankly, I’m pretty ready for this show to come to an end even though I’ve enjoyed it. I’m sticking with it though!! I didn’t watch for this many years not to see this thing through to the end!
3. On the other hand, Marty and I kept seeing all the previews for the new show called Guilt on Freeform. Basically, every time we saw it we would kind of poke fun at it but I was still just a bit interested. I ended up watching the show and I’ve got to say, I’m already kind of sucked into this show. I’m pretty excited to have a brand new show to watch. I WILL NOT be watching that new Dead of Summer show though. Just no.
4. I’ve started rereading the Little House series again by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I’ve always loved these books so I just thought they would be a good summer reading project. It will also be a good way to pass the time while I wait for my new cross stitch pattern to come in the mail. (I usually don’t order them.) Anyway, the books got me thinking that maybe I should start watching the show so now I’ve got the DVR recording them whenever they come on. I feel like such an old soul. But Laura Ingalls is just so cute!
5. Finally, on Tuesday I got to watch Finding Dory! I went with one of my friends and that movie is just too cute for words! I really did enjoy watching it. I was a bit nervous about it because Dory wasn’t exactly one of my favorite characters from the original flick. I’m glad I got to see it though 🙂 Thanks discount Tuesdays at our local Cinemark!
This was beautiful. It made my heart smile and feel good for a meager minute. I’m trying so, so, so very hard and even reading the same sentence of “loving and appreciating your body no matter what your pant size” is over and over again is how I find 5 minutes of comfort, I’m going to read those words every hour of ever day until it sinks in.
It was a weekend filled with family, love, super scary food adventures and most importantly celebrating love 🙂
This past weekend my husband and I traveled to Marathon, Texas for a family wedding. There isn’t a whole lot in this town, however the hotel we stayed at was phenomenal and the views were just spectacular! It really was a highly enjoyable weekend and great to get away for just a few hours.
We stayed at The Gage Hotel which was also the location of the wedding. It was a beautiful venue! I don’t know how the bride found it but it was lovely.
We stayed in this old colonial style house (I think it said it was colonial. I can’t really remember all that well. Who cares, it was gorgeous.) with some other family members as we enjoyed the weekend.
Most of my time was filled with visiting with family members, getting to know them better or just spending time with my husband. On Saturday morning Marty and I walked from our room down to this super adorable restaurant to enjoy breakfast. We were the only ones there because we are both such early risers.
I did manage to get a run in that morning as well. Marathon is really small so I basically ran the entire town as my route. The first part of the run I was basically playing photographer instead of running. The view of the “mountains” was just too neat! Very pretty. Also, windmills. Windmills everywhere! I actually find windmills a nice view by themselves.
Throughout the whole weekend I tried my very hardest to keep the screaming ED thoughts at bay. This is so difficult when they are usually so prominent. I wanted to enjoy the mini vacation and time with my husband and family. This is difficult though when I’m eating foods that are just SO foreign and sometimes you don’t even know that they are. I’m terrified of food that I don’t know the caloric content of and so I was face to face with one of my biggest fears every meal every day we were there. I was faced with people asking how my food was, asking if I had eaten and I felt like were watching me. I’m just different when it comes to food. I just want to eat it and not discuss it. Other people, normal people, that don’t have eating issues, are probably able to enjoy food more easily and discuss among themselves. It just keeps me like a cat on a hot tin roof! I tried to keep myself from being too on edge about it. I really did.
I did make one discovery at lunch Saturday though! I ate part of M’s sandwich and I learned that I think I like rye bread. I need to go to HEB asap so check this stuff out!
Saturday evening was wedding time!!! The location for the ceremony was in the backyard of the house we were staying at and it was just gorgeous. It was simple but the scenery really took your breath away. The weather in Texas was finally cooperating as well!
We ended the evening by having dinner at the reception and celebrating with the bride and groom.
This weekend I had to learn to let go of some of my control. I can’t ALWAYS pack my lunch. I can’t ALWAYS know about food beforehand. I can’t ALWAYS be expected to pick the lowest calorie/most healthy choice on the menu. There are just some things I literally cannot know prior to events. I can’t let that damper my experiences though! I can’t let food keep me from having fun or a good time. I can’t let myself walk around in one giant ball of worry and anxiety because I’m worried about how this piece of bread will work in my body and where I’m going to find it in the mirror lately. Sometimes, you have to try and live in the moment and actually live.