Tag Archives: body shaming

The Cruelest Words Come From Our Own Mouths

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I read that quote and I just realize how incredibly harsh and critical I am on myself. What ever taught me to be so cruel? At times when I’m feeling down, I like to get on Pinterest and look up inspirational quotes or just ones that make me feel good. This afternoon, I’ve been doing that.
#edrecovery #recovery #eatingdisorder:

I know that I’ve been saying over and over again that I’m afraid lately, which is probably annoying. I don’t know a better way to describe it though. There’s not a better word. I’m just afraid to eat foods outside the comfort zone, afraid to eat more than “x” many times a day, and pretty much afraid to gain/lose weight. I’ve sat in bed at night wondering if I was going to die if I didn’t start bringing more of a variety into the comfort zone of eating. I’m just…scared y’all. I’ve got a bunch of anxiety lately and insecurity seems to take over sometimes. I struggle with perfection. I’m such A perfectionist that it’s literally killing me. With student teaching and getting married (6 weeks..AHHHH!!) I find myself wanting to be perfect in every aspect, which totally is impossible!! I find myself though, at a crossroads. I know that it’s okay to eat food. I really do know that, now do I necessarily live like that….no. I can’t bring myself to realize that not being able to see my ribs is a good thing. I can’t bring myself to say that losing weight is bad! There’s been times lately where I have and sadly, I’m proud of myself. (I know I shouldn’t be.) But I’m at this point where I’m proud of how hard I’ve been working at it, subconsciously that is. It’s like I’m proud of the control that I’ve been getting??? Not even sure. Sometimes I find myself not able to breathe or fighting back tears because I’m suddenly so upset about something that I did eat, that I wanted to eat,  I suddenly just feel sad, or in that moment I just feel scared.

THE WORST KIND OF SAD IS NOT BEING ABLE TO EXPLAIN WHY.:

I saw a quote though, that said that my eating disorder (ED), IS NOT my friend. I keep forgetting that my ED IS NOT my friend but an EVIL, UNHEALTHY, UNFORGIVING, HATEFUL, LOUDMOUTH, HORRID, ABUSIVE, UGLY, CRUEL, HARSH, and CRITICAL voice!!! He IS NOT nice, kind, caring, passionate, or loving at all! Which are all qualities of an upstanding friend. I’m perceiving ED as loving me and wanting what’s best for me, but HE DEFINITELY DOESN’T. He wants me to hate myself and strive to be something that I don’t need to be! I forget all of this when I don’t stop myself  and tell myself to really consider what I’m doing. I think I forget that I really don’t have to try so hard. I don’t have to kill myself everyday.

Refuse to give in. The greatest battle is not physical, it is mental. Give it all you've got! #totalbodytransformation #fitness #skinnyms

I know that what I’m doing isn’t good for me. I know that I somehow have to fix it. I really really do know that I need help. I think that I just have forgotten how to actually get help. I think that I haven’t been/felt this low point in such a long time…since I was at UTSA probably, or the very first couple of months at ASU. I just keep holding onto the bright thought that there will be an end of all of this and I am going to be better one day. Somebody just give me a hug….

Days like this I am just happy if I can sit upright, speed certainly doesn't matter!:

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Positive People!!!

Yesterday I forgot a VERY important person on  my list of positive people!

Cassey Ho of blogilates.com

I literally have watched her videos and worked out with her for about 2 1/2 years and I love her! She’s always honest and positive and makes her fans of her videos, or “popsters” as they are called, feel like they really know her personally. She’s bubbly, fun, exciting, always coming up with fresh new ideas and is kinda of a joy to watch. She makes working out seem like more fun and it appears that she thoroughly LOVES what she is doing. She helped me through some of my darker times. Shes always reaching out to her community of followers and even went so far as to promote positive body image after she was relentlessly tormented with highly negative comments about her own body (she was criticized for not being “fit enough” to be a fitness/yoga/pilates instructor). But she’s pretty inspiring y’all.

“How are we to know what kind of beauty can be naturally achieved when everything around us is so deceiving?”- Cassey Ho 

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/fitness-star-cassey-ho-takes-on-the-perfect-body-117089175753.html

356_Ho_9780804139045

Great [Positive] Expectations

I walk around pretty much constantly making mental notes in my head of things I want to write, say, or just a different way to express my current state of mind. Basically, I’m always swirling some type of thought in my head. There have been many things I wanted to write lately but it just seemed like there wouldn’t be enough to say. Anyway, something that’s been on my heart lately is this whole “body shaming” pandemic. So many people have opinions about bodies, perfect and not. Everyone’s definition is different, too. What really is “skinny”, “curvy”, “fit”, “toned”, or “perfect”? What is that? It could be different for everyone and probably is! (SIDE BAR: saying ‘strong is the new skinny’ or ‘skinny girls look good in clothes, but fit girls look good naked’…IS BODY SHAMING.)

I’ve noticed a trend lately of younger celebrities speaking out against body shaming when they are criticized by the media for not having the “ideal” body (whatever that is.) I really love this because these young women are my age. I’m currently 20, I’ll be 21 in May and technically, I still consider myself still in transition to a “womanly body”. At this age, I still feel like only certain part of me have changed and not me as a whole. This is a HIGHLY difficult for me. Women’s and girl’s bodies are drastically different. Women do have more “curves” if you will, and younger girls tend to have less fat. Understandable, women have children and their body is preparing and changing for that purpose. I feel like I’m constantly changing. Most people probably don’t notice a daily (very minor) changes in their bodies, but I do ( I factor in the eating disorder for this). Either that or I am very aware and alert to my body.

I started this transition into a new body type in the second semester of my senior year in high school (so 2012). This was just before I entered college and began into the darker journey with E.D. I began to notice changes in my hip area and areas under my arms that were closer to my chest. I literally FREAKED. I changed the way I ate, worked out, and thought about myself. Thoughts became more destructive and this was also the time I made the switch from drinking regular soda to drinking diet soda. The “changes” happened for a while and then panned out………….until just a couple of weeks ago. My body took it upon itself to reorganize my..chest..area.

Nobody else would’ve noticed, but I did. Normal people probably don’t find an issue here, but for someone who is consumed with thoughts over how to control their body and obsess over what goes into me, it would’ve been nice to be consulted about the upcoming changes. But that’s not how things work; which is why today when I read about celebrities standing up for positive body image, I was excited. These girls are my age and their bodies are probably going through similar transitions to mine. I can relate to them because it seems like they are almost just like me.

We all know about Jennifer Lawrence and how she is always an advocate for positive body image, but what about some lesser known young women?

Selena Gomez: She was recently scrutinized by the media for not being “toned” and was called “fat” like she “let herself go” or something.

After that, she took to Instagram and posted a photo with the caption, “I love being happy with me y’all #theresmoretolove.”

Selena Gomez Says She's Happy With Her New Curves: "There's More to Love"  Selena Gomez, Instagram  http://www.eonline.com/news/647440/selena-gomez-says-she-s-happy-with-her-new-curves-there-s-more-to-love

Emma Watson: She is a positive role model for women everywhere.

http://www.examiner.com/article/emma-watson-talks-body-image-it-took-me-a-long-time-to-accept-my-shape

She states that “it’s ridiculous that [being comfortable with yourself] seems such an unrealistic goal.”

 “We have these unbelievably high expectations of ourselves, when actually we’re human beings and out bodies have a function.

“I keep telling myself that I’m a human being, an imperfect human being who’s not made to look like a doll.”

Emma Brings Her Bikini Body and Her New Man to the Beach

Your Guide to Looking This Good at Graduation

Zooey Deschanel:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/04/zooey-deschanel-body-image-dont-need-anorexic-successful_n_2409327.html

She states that some of the women she admired were, “Debra Winger, Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep—were all beautiful and thin, but not too thin.” She then goes on to say that there are many actresses who seem like they are skinny but it’s an unhealthy type of skinny.

“I’m a very small person, and if I lost 15 pounds, I’d look like them; it’s scary. For young girls, what does that say? You need to look this way to be successful? That’s not true. You do not need to look or be anorexic to be successful in Hollywood. The range of what’s acceptable is larger than what people believe.”

"New Girl" style.  Totally getting this outfit!

Her point is, you DON’T have to be super thin to be successful. It does not define you!!!!

My whole point is, is I’m not [we are not] alone in the battle. Not everyone has “perfect body” expectations. There are people out there [women] who genuinely want other women to be happy, proud and confident in their own skin.

Positivity Is Always Welcome

So yesterday, I was browsing Yahoo! like I usually do when I stumbled upon these 3 articles that interested me.

  1. Even Taylor Swift Isn’t Safe From Body Shaming-  https://www.yahoo.com/style/taylor-swift-looks-so-much-like-a-supermodel-that-102535446423.html
  2. Hilary Duff Tells Health Magazien She Was ‘Way Too Skinny’ As A Teen- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/13/hilary-duff-skinny_n_6152136.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592
  3. Demi Lovato Slams Meghan Trainor After Eating Disorder Remarks- http://www.celebuzz.com/2014-11-13/megahn-trainor-demi-lovato-eating-disorders/

So, what do all of these articles have in common? The fact that they are stars either trying to promote positive body image or talk about the fact we should stop body shaming. Let’s start with the first.

  • The first is about poor Taylor Swift and how no matter how good she looks, somebody is always going to say that some part of her isn’t good enough. Some famous person decided to say that she ‘needed to get a booty’ like really? Who’s business is that? Pretty sure just Taylor’s. That’s how it is for all people though. There’s always someone who doesn’t think you’re good enough. There’s a quote from Taylor that I just read the other day that I think is fitting.

“If we continue to show young girls that they are being compared to other girls, we’re doing ourselves a huge disservice as a society,” Swift states. “I surround myself with smart, beautiful, passionate, driven, ambitious women. Other women who are killing it should motivate you, thrill you, challenge you and inspire you rather than threaten you and make you feel like you’re immediately being compared to them.”

shake it off performance - her outfit is like the 1989 version of the sparks fly dress and I love it

  • When I was a kid I used to watch Lizzie McGuire ALL THE TIME. I loved that show and I totally loved Hilary Duff. Even after her Disney Channel years I still continued/continue to love her. I never even thought anything of her weight. However, in her later year I did notice she was like superrrrr skinny. Probably not healthy. But I absolutely love what she said in this article.

“When I was 17, I weighed, like, 98 pounds. I was totally obsessed with everything I put in my mouth. I was way too skinny. Not cute. And my body wasn’t that healthy — my hands would cramp up a lot because I wasn’t getting the nutrition I needed. That constant pressure of wanting something different than I had? I regret that. I feel like there was way too much time spent thinking about that.”

Skinny Minnie

Best Dressed: Hilary Duff (September 2013)

  • Finally the Meghan Trainor incident. During an interview she was talking about her songs ‘All About That Bass’. At first she talked about how she grew up and how her parents fed her and then how once someone told her she would look better if she was 10 pounds lighter. Then she goes on to say something pretty offensive.

“I wasn’t strong enough to have an eating disorder. I tried to go anorexic for a good three hours. I ate ice and celery, but that’s not even anorexic. And I quit. I was like, ‘Ma, can you make me a sandwich? Like, immediately.'”

Enter Demi Lovato who went on this fairly epic twitter rant about how eating disorders aren’t choices and it’s NEVER about having the ‘strength’ to have anorexia or bulimia. It’s a REAL mental disorder and anyone who has is suffers tremendously.

Meghan Trainor "Close Your Eyes"

Speaking of Meghan Trainor, I actually stumbled upon this song by her the other day that I really really love.