Bang, bang, rollin’ off your tongue.
Inferior. It’s not a nice word or a pretty word or a pleasant feeling. But we’ve all felt it at some time. Lately, I think I’ve been feeling that for numerous reasons:
- school because I don’t “have time” to read 25-50+ pages PLUS go to class
- because I’m not working and going to college at the same time
- because I’m not as pretty/insert thing here as someone else
- because I’m considering getting married before my fiance and I have been engaged for an entire year
- and sometimes, because I’m kind of afraid of the future
I’m sick and tired of that.
Words are literally like bullets shooting out of a gun. Once you pull that trigger, even the slightest bit, you set off a huge chain of events. That “bullet” leaves the barrel and immediately starts charging down its course to rip into a person. It slices the air into thin slivers and almost as easily as it left the gun, penetrates it’s victim. Straight to the heart or the head is the most lethal. The “bullet” is just as painful as words can be. I promise you. Once the bullet leaves the chamber, it is completely out in the open, out of your hands and there’s no way to take it back. No rewind button whatsoever. You can’t pull it back in and make it disappear. Just like words leave a mouth, bullets charge away.
I wish words were like little toy guns.
Wish they didn’t break you inside.
But that’s the strangest thing about words. They do hurt. They do cause pain. Maybe the worst type of pain. So, what are you doing with your words? Do you use them as weapons to cut and slay and manipulate others, or do you use them in the best way you can? Are you trying to remember that anything you say can actually hurt someone? I think that we have to remember that words and both magical and harmful. Let’s use those to be positive : )
I don’t wanna feel inferior about not working or wanting to get married before a year has passed. The negative feelings about beauty will take time, but I can change the others now. I’m not working because I take 18 hours….that’s hard for me. Going to school is hard for me…handling this ed, that’s hard for me…and both together are difficult. But I’m going to do it….I’m going to make it.