Tag Archives: dinner

Little Susie Homemaker

When I don’t have to go to work all day, I can be domestic. I’m kinda like Betty Crocker…if Betty wasn’t a baker. Whoever that would make me.20160502_17380520160502_174954

Baked potatoes (one regular and one sweet) and broccoli and chicken with cheese 🙂 Side note: sweet potatoes are one of THE best foods in my opinion. Plus, I actually ate dinner that was actual solid food that you have to chew. There’s a win in that department. My husband should be proud.

I have to brag on him for just a minute. Since he and I talked last week, every single day he has made sure to ask me what I ate for dinner if he didn’t see me consume it or make it. He’s been working at night this last week and this coming week because it’s hay baling time at the ranch. It’s been a big deal that he’s actually remembered that I should probably eat some solid foods and remembered to ask me. It’s sweet 🙂 It’s also very nice and comforting to know he cares about me that much and is trying to take care of me.

 There’s dinner!

Finally, I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again. Weather (especially Texas weather) is ridiculous! I checked my TimeHop this morning and 2 years ago I tweeted something about this same time of year.

I thought it was my birth month and I thought it was supposed to start becoming warmer! Not all rainy and fall weather like. You’ve just got to appreciate the springtime.

 

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Move Over, KFC!

Move over KFC and Whataburger, my chicken strips could be coming for you! Totally kidding, not even kind of close, but still good. My homemade chicken strips adventure was a success!!! I used a recipe from Skinny Ms that was really for chicken nuggets but I was too lazy to cut up chicken so I just bought tenders. These were super easy to make though! http://skinnyms.com/skinny-chicken-nuggets

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The “before”

The “after”. They really don’t look much different do they?

Of course, I had to make my sweet potato fries because I’m completely obsessed with sweet potatoes!! Anyone else have a love for sweet potatoes? All in all, I’m very proud of myself for this 🙂

Wednesday Reads

Demolishing The “Fat Makes You Fat” Myth- Paleo Leap http://paleoleap.com/demolishing-fat-makes-fat-myth/

Part of what started my eating disorder initially was the fact that I am scared, no terrified, complete petrified of “fat” in my food. When I read nutrition facts, I go straight to the “fat” content. So when I’ve been at my lowest points, I’ve basically been eating no fat. When I met with the nutritionist she reassured me that a body does need fat from foods and it’s NOT all bad!!!! You need grams of fat in your diet! This has been a huge roadblock and hurdle for me to tackle because I’m so used to not eating it, avoiding it or feeling guilty about consuming it. I decided maybe I needed to read it from an article that “fat” wasn’t bad, so there is the article I read and keeps the majority of my anxiety over this at bay (there is still a TON).

New Campaign Reveals The Truth About Beauty- Kelsey Miller; Refinery 29; Project Heal http://www.refinery29.com/2016/02/103609/eating-disorders-awareness-week-project-heal#slide

This is eating disorder awareness week as most of you know and I just thought this article from Project Heal was spectacular.  I encourage you to think about yourself when it talks about the hashtags #WhatMakesMeBeautiful. What makes you beautiful? You can’t be wrong!!!! It’s your own opinion of yourself and how you feel about Y-O-U. I love what all of the women in the slideshow had to say about themselves, it was uplifting to see that loving yourself and liking parts of yourself isn’t frowned upon, but in fact encouraged! I am challenging myself with this same question of what makes me beautiful.

Question: Does anybody know what Pixar’s movie The Good Dinosaur is about? Hahahaha…I’m a 21 year old child.

A New Cooking Adventure :)

If your husband makes a dinner request…chances are, you’re going to end up researching how to make enchiladas.

(I may have red If You Give a Pig a Pancake today while subbing in the library.)

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Excited face because I’m attempting enchilada making later!!

Literally his conversation started with, “Hey, do you know how to make enchiladas?” Followed by me going, “Uhhhhh….I know how to make enchilada casserole?” He was less than thrilled with that. I tried my hardest to avoid rolling the enchiladas, but I lost that battle. (ALSO: I was supposed to try them with ketchup, but I sort of forgot. He and his dad eat them this way apparently. Don’t ask.)

Commence the Internet/Pinterest search for how to roll them/an easy-ish recipe!!!! I watched some Youtube videos and convinced myself that I could actually do this.

I made cheese enchiladas because well, ultimately that’s THE best kind 🙂

In the end, it wasn’t that hard really, at least not nearly as difficult as I envisioned it being.

So, there is my adventure dinner for the week 🙂 Sometimes, I cook. ALSO!!! These were SO DANG GOOD. I’m so proud of myself!!! I’m also proud of myself for actually eating this for dinner. Even though, I did make a Kairos-Version and a Marty-Version of these. I still did it, y’all.

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Homemade Lasagna Night

It’s Lasagna Night!!!!!!!!!

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Sometimes I use our oven for more than baking. Sometimes. Ordinarily, well before I got married, I would’ve made this lasagna with spinach instead of meat, however I don’t think my husband would’ve totally appreciated that. Soooo, I subbed the spinach for just regular beef. They didn’t have any ground turkey at the store the other day, so beef had to do. Don’t you worry, I still made this dish healthy 😉

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You’ve gotta have some sort of garlic bread when you eat Italian food. Am I right??? I like how the lasagna is still all perfect in it’s dish before I had to destroy it and it try to get a piece out 😦 It’s harder than it looks! Oh! And I got to use my blue Corningware dish. They make me smile because they are a pretty color.

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And here’s me, being awkward and showing you my plate (like you wanna see that). It’s not the prettiest presentation, but hey, getting lasagna out of a pan is difficult!!! If this isn’t a brave moment, I don’t know what is. I’m trying to breathe through this one. I feel like I should learn some Lamaze breathing techniques to deal with this (insert laugh here).

It’s just now Wednesday and this week has already been eating disorder hell. I’m trying really hard to just eat some food and not worry about how I’m going to burn it off. Easier said than done. I’m teetering on sanity. Currently, I’m watching The Big Bang Theory and the whole gang is at Sheldon and Leonard’s eating their Chinese food and I find myself asking the question of, HOW can they just eat that?! Do they even think about it? Does it phase them?! Do THEY freak out later? Ugh. I just don’t get it. It’s all very frustrating. How do all of you “normal folk” function on a daily basis? Seriously though, right now I think I want to crawl in a corner and just stare at my living room/kitchen from it.

GET INSPIRED: My Definition of Eating Disorder Recovery I wrote this as a result of my frustration of the "idealized recovery" that often gets portrayed to the outside world:

Image: http://www.dontlivesmall.com/blog/2-recovery-road-my-definition-of-recovery/4/6/2014

Also, I’m way over this whole winter thing. Can’t it just be spring? Working out/jumping around inside just isn’t appealing anymore. I just feel stuck. I know that Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow so where the heck is spring?! I know, I know, it doesn’t happen that quickly. I think I’m just a little fed up with all this dang wind, too!!! Goodness. It could blow away a small child.

#emmroy:

Image: http://theberry.com/2014/04/18/daily-motivation-25-photos-452/

I’m going to finish watching this episode of The Big Bang Theory, wait for Pretty Little Liars to come on and try not to run away now.

Have You Ever Untangled Spaghetti?

Image: http://prettylittleliars.alloyentertainment.com/season-3-hanna-marin-quotes-photos/#10

Pretty Little Liars Season 3: Hanna Marin's Funniest Quotes [PHOTOS]:

Sounds like trying to recover from an eating disorder. Plus, it made me laugh and I just like her & that show.

After substituting all day yesterday, I’ve decided that I may not actually want to teach upper elementary every single day, i.e. 6th grade. They just about wore me out. So very much talking. Entirely too much. All in all though, it wasn’t that bad.l It was a fairly easy day. During this day I had a few spare moment…okay a bunch of spare moments…to peruse the Internet.

After what seemed like endless searching I basically just threw in the towel at the end of the day. I was searching over and over for a recovery meal plan. I would search ‘eating disorder meal plan’ and it would come up with meal plans that have too many calories for me (I’m not that underweight) or they were very forceful and harsh. I would search ‘healthy meal plan’ and apparently my terms and the world’s terms of healthy MUST differ because all that resulted in was ‘how to lose 10 pounds in a month’. Not what I’m looking for Google!!

In reality, I was just looking for some sort of meal plan that would tell me in a simple-cannot emphasize that enough here- manner how to eat. Like, a simple breakfast, easy morning and afternoon snack and a reasonable dinner. Not a meal plan to lose weight, not one to gain 10 pounds because I’m that deep into an eating disorder, not one where I’m terrified of all the foods, and not one where it seems like too much food in one meal. That seems like a lot of guidelines, but is it really that difficult to come by? Personally, I don’t see how a person can eat 1/2 a cup of oatmeal, 2 egg whites and 1/2 a grapefruit. Just sounds like an overload to me, but what do I know?

Throughout the rest of my day I found myself really really wanting to eat eggs. Like an egg sandwich. I’m such a weirdo, I know. But I’ve been wanting eggs for a few days now. However, I had to figure out a way to eat them that M wouldn’t find totally bizarre. I couldn’t just go home and make only eggs.

I cooked bacon and some biscuits for Marty, some regular ole’scrambled eggs and hash browns. I forgot how much I like hash browns.

Clearly, this is his plate. I’m not really that into bacon, plus that’s a fear food that I’m not nearly ready to approach.

I made egg whites for me and some toast…I didn’t have the best bread on hand and biscuits are a whole other ball game.

That’s my “I love eating eggs!” face.I’m not even sorry that I loved these eggs. I’d go home and make them again if M wouldn’t think that was super strange.

 

 

Last night was also the return of PRETTY LITTLE LIARS!!!!!! Yay! I know that most people might think that show is dumb, and at times yes, yes it is. But I can’t not watch, you know? I’ve invested all this time into caring about these characters and watching season after season I need to know what happens in their lives and how this series will eventually end. I’m not sure if Marty intended to watch with me, but somehow he ended up in the living room asking me questions about the people.

Poor guy didn’t know that having a wife meant having Pretty Little Liars on TV on Tuesday nights.

Mac & Cheese, Please

Last night was macaroni and cheese with turkey sausage night!! (Shh, don’t tell my husband it was turkey.) Anywhooo, I was pretty unsure about this  whole mac and cheese in the crock pot situation. It seemed a little sketchy while I was making it. It was what I like to call an “experimental dinner”.

BUT!!! Thank goodness, it was actually pretty good. I used whole wheat pasta, so that gave it kind of a funky “whole wheat” taste, so I think next time I’m just going to use a regular pasta. Overall though, it was pretty much given the green light! YAY!

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What I’m trying very, very hard to do is almost force myself to eat actual food for dinner. It’s harder than you can imagine! I’m so used to eating yogurt or a protein bar or something that I think is a “safe” food. I’m working at it. Failing some day, but who doesn’t? I find myself going through these phases during the day where I’m in the “I can do this” mode. I’m motivated and I’m convinced that I can eat dinner. Then I have the other mode of “I HATE food. I HATE dinner and I HATE eating.” This usually happens after I have my dang yogurt at lunch. For some reason my brain thinks that’s so much food. I’m not even sure why…I don’t know.

What I fail to remember every single day is that I didn’t become this way overnight or even a week. I didn’t do this to myself in a month, so how can I expect myself to get better or recover in just a week or even one month?! That’s not reality and it’s so unrealistic. Everyday however, I fall victim to this thought process because I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel and finally feel good about myself. However, this is a long journey that is going to take time. I have to learn to be patient with myself, patient with my body and try to stay fearless throughout the whole process.

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Then, after dinner my husband got a wild hair and decided he wanted to watch a Disney movie 🙂 He knows I own ALOT of these movies so he had to go look in my movie drawer and he picked The Lion King. It was a very comforting way to end the evening 🙂

Rhythm of YOUR Heartbeat

I’ve never had to love someone who hated themselves. I’ve never had to watch someone dislike themselves to much that they curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor and cry until their eyes are slightly sore. I’ve never had to experience someone telling me they are angry at themselves for eating actual food for dinner. I’ve never had to hold someone as they cried and felt like they were insane because they didn’t like what the mirror reflected. Finally, I’ve never had someone tell me that sometimes they felt like they wanted to die instead of keep on hating themselves.

anorexia:

Personally, I’ve never been exposed to the receiving end of all those emotions that are probably more difficult to hear than I know. However, I have felt every single one of those emotions, last night to be exact.

I’ve found that at  night for the past couple of weeks, I’ve grown infuriated with myself. I get so angry because I made dinner for my husband and I and then I eat it. I get so angry that I ate a meal that wasn’t yogurt. I feel like I can feel my body changing….getting bigger with each passing moment. My brain is screaming, Ed is screaming, I literally feel like screaming and my fingernails dig into my skin. There’s nothing I can compare this feeling to. Then, mixed in with all the anger, I feel….sad. Sad because I literally can’t handle it all or make myself do it. I’m angry, I’m sad and I’m hurt.

With you, I'm comfortable.  I know I can talk to you about anything, or sit by your side in complete silence.  You see me at my worst, but only talk about my best.  I can be happy about my biggest achievements, while you know my deepest insecurities.  I'm comfortable with you, and you should know that means everything to me.:

As I’m sitting there on my bathroom floor, pretty positive that my legs don’t work anymore because I can’t get up and I haven’t moved in probably 20 minutes, something I’m highly unaccustomed to happens. My husband some in. He says nothing. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong and he doesn’t ask what I’m doing. He quickly shuffles around to the other side of me and I can feel his arms encircle me. He is literally sitting on the bathroom floor with me while my head is buried in my knees. I didn’t say anything for a while or even look up because I’m pretty ashamed of my puffy red face and snot nose. It’s just shaky breath sounds for a while. Finally though, when I do speak it’s just telling him I hate food and I don’t see how I can do this. All he does is reassure me that it’s all going to be okay and somehow, in that moment, it helps.

The Best Quotes About Love and Marriage:

Whoever said that marriage isn’t worth it or doesn’t work was mistaken. I didn’t realize what it would be like to have someone to always come home to and to always be there for you (or sit on the bathroom floor with you 😉 ) It’s pretty freakin’ cool/amazing/fantastic/a feeling indescribable. I didn’t realize until my drive to work this morning that the part in our vows that goes “in sickness and in health” was something we would experience right off the bat. Not that I forgot I had an eating disorder, I just forgot that qualified as a “sickness”.

That was my Wednesday and this is my Thursday, feeling sad and unsure. Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet.

Anne of Green Gables “Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables: