Tag Archives: eCards

This Classroom Runs on Love, Chocolate & Diet Coke

Let’s take a peek into my diary. Let me just out rightly say what I’ve been thinking over the past week and how I’ve been feeling about some things.

Last week I did my first official “big girl job”/teacher duty thing by attending a new teacher bootcamp workshop for 2 days. It wasn’t particularly interesting…or helpful really…but I did make me feel better because I had my class rules and behavior/expectations in order when many of the other teachers at the workshop did not. *Score 1 in that column for Mrs. Powell!* Maybe the only score I sometimes feel. Being a new teacher bring me so much stress and anxiety. I think some nights I sit on my living room couch and stress about the unknown or stress about stress. Usually, when I feel these types of feelings I try to distract myself by watching some TV show or something; lately it’s been Guilt, Pretty Little Liars, Little House on the Prairie, The Middle and my newest obsession, Scandal. Jeez, it sounds like I watch a bunch of TV!

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Watching these shows usually can take me into a different world so that I don’t have to pay attention to my own for just a little bit. It takes my mind off of the anxiety of being a new teacher, worrying if I’ll have time to workout, having anxiety of the catered/provided meals that will happen my first week of inservice, worrying if my students will like me, trying to figure out how to actually be a teacher and actually function as an adult. That doesn’t mean I don’t freak out in my head almost every hour.

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Last week, I was up in my classroom. I was alone at the school. Literally nobody else was in the building. It was just me. I sat there at my desk-which is at the back of the room-and stared at the little round empty tables with the little red chairs surrounding them. I remembered the blank canvas I’d been given and how with a little help I’d transformed it into a little ranch for my students to come and learn in. I knew I was in the right place but at the moment I just felt unsure of myself. Then, I realized, everybody feels this way. Everybody feels like they are going to fail the first time they try something new. I tried to tell myself though, there will hopefully always be people around willing to let me ask questions, willing to help me, and willing to let me make mistakes and learn. My student’s won’t know that I’m a first year teacher who hasn’t the slightly clue what I’m doing. They. Won’t. Know. They won’t care! As long as I try my best to help them grow and learn and show that I care about them, that’s all that will matter to their little minds.

As I am about to embark on this new journey and chapter into my life I’ve been giving myself this pep talk a lot. I’ve also been giving myself other “talks” about my food, eating and working out. I’ve been trying to drill in my brain that I don’t always have to workout for an hour or more. I even Googled this! It has yet to stick in my head but I have a feeling with work starting….it might soon. Which is frightening. I’ve also been trying to tell myself that I am more than my body. People don’t like me because I’m skinny and they won’t dislike me or maybe even notice if it changes. People like you for you and the kind of person you are.

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Now, I can write those words and say them all day long, but I have to get myself to believe it and get myself to believe that I can eat dinner and still be a person people like. I have to believe that I will still like myself if I eat dinner.

Last thing: this is pretty personal. I decided a couple of days ago that I needed to go out to a store and by myself some new….undergarments. I’m sick and tired of having the ones I do own make me feel bad. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. If I’m going to try and attempt this whole “like myself, maybe workout less and eat dinner thing” I don’t need another thing on my plate myself me feel bad about myself.

I think that my diary entry basically ends here…for I have run out of rambling thoughts.

I’ve also found a whole bunch of hilarious teacher ecards on Pinterest recently. Well, my lame sense of humor and I find them hilarious.

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Peanut Butter Swamp

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Focus On You — Here’s How– by Lisa Quast via Forbes

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Do you ever feel like you are standing completely still and the world is just whizzing by? Like you are sprinting as fast as you can but the peanut butter you are trekking through is slowing you down? It just won’t let you move any quicker than you are already going? Am I the only one who feels like I’m trying so hard, exerting all the efforts and doing everything I can the “right way” but still coming up a little short than others? Am I the only one who feels like they are stuck in a peanut butter swamp?!

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my peanut butter; but I don’t love running in it.

We’ve heard it said before that comparing yourself to others won’t get you anywhere. It won’t make you feel better about yourself. It won’t make you more successful and it doesn’t mean you are better than anybody else. Comparison creates misery. It doesn’t matter what we are comparing ourselves to others on, whether it be our body, our job, our intelligence, relationships, cooking skills, friendships or anything else under the sun, it’s all so self-destructive and damaging.

Everyone is on their own journey in life. We are all in different places. Lately, I’ve noticed in myself that as I look at these snapshots of other people’s lives on Instagram or Facebook I feel a little discouraged. I see people around my age getting married or graduating (which I’ve done both), getting a job, becoming more physically fit, reaching diet goals, reaching life goals, having a baby, traveling and seeming to have these grand successes. And I’m happy for them! I truly am but I feel like I’m standing in thick peanut butter. I can’t seem to stop myself from comparing my life to theirs! What is wrong with me?! It’s not that I’m not content with where I am. I love my life and everything God has provided me. I think that at times I just feel discouraged because I feel like I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to get a job and just come up short. Or, I see other women my age having a baby and it starts to me nervous and think… “Oh, should I be trying to have a baby? Am I getting old?!” (I know that’s an irrational thought. I’m NOT old. I also know that starting a family right now is not a road I want to venture down. However, that doesn’t stop my panic every now and then.) Then I see all the ads, progress pictures or just already in great shape women I follow and think that I’m “letting myself go”. I begin to think that I’m not pretty enough, I’m not working out hard enough and I’m going to gain all this weight and not be happy.

Here’s where my history with an eating disorder does not work in my favor. When I’m stressed out (which I already am with working towards recovery) I originally found my eating disorder voice. When I felt like I wasn’t good enough I found myself masking my emotions and feelings aside and trading them in for workouts, food restriction and cutting myself off from others. I was scared just like I am now. I have to fight so hard to keep my mind away from those thoughts. Some days they get the best of me. Some days I have to coach myself and say, “It’s okay to eat. It’s not going to make you less of a person.” or “You don’t have to run more than 4 miles. Moving a little is better than not moving at all.” I’m so terrified by other’s success that I feel like my minor ones are insignificant or even worse, failures.

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The fact that I can run 4 miles now, is a success. However, when I see these Instagram posts, “super fit pregnancy” pictures or Pinterest things with photographs of way physically fit women, I suddenly feel like less of a person and my confidence is shaken. I just start to wonder what I’m doing wrong or what else I could do to achieve their success. I feel like I’ve fallen behind. When I see someone else finally get the job they have been looking for, I begin that exact same cycle of comparison and wonder what I could do differently…..to achieve their success.

The two key words here are their success. Wait, why do I have somebody else’s success?! I AM capable of my OWN success. I just have to be patient. I have to work on myself. I have to be content with where I am in my journey in life. I don’t want someone else’s used gum, so why would I want someone else’s success? It’s already being used there. I want my own! Just like I want my own York patties, pizza and peanut butter sandwich 🙂

We haven’t “fallen behind” as we so often feel. We aren’t less of a person because we don’t look like someone else or aren’t in the exact same place as some people in our journey in life! We don’t know how long the person we are comparing ourselves to has been stuck in their own peanut butter swamp or what it took to get them to their current success. We are just us. We are all just doing the best we can. The best thing we can remember is this:

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And to remember to be patient and content-even in hard times-in our own peanut butter swamp.

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