Tag Archives: family

You Are My Sunshine

It was a weekend filled with family, love, super scary food adventures and most importantly celebrating love 🙂

This past weekend my husband and I traveled to Marathon, Texas for a family wedding. There isn’t a whole lot in this town, however the hotel we stayed at was phenomenal and the views were just spectacular! It really was a highly enjoyable weekend and great to get away for just a few hours.

We stayed at The Gage Hotel which was also the location of the wedding. It was a beautiful venue! I don’t know how the bride found it but it was lovely.

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We stayed in this old colonial style house (I think it said it was colonial. I can’t really remember all that well. Who cares, it was gorgeous.) with some other family members as we enjoyed the weekend.

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Most of my time was filled with visiting with family members, getting to know them better or just spending time with my husband. On Saturday morning Marty and I walked from our room down to this super adorable restaurant to enjoy breakfast. We were the only ones there because we are both such early risers.

I did manage to get a run in that morning as well. Marathon is really small so I basically ran the entire town as my route. The first part of the run I was basically playing photographer instead of running. The view of the “mountains” was just too neat! Very pretty. Also, windmills. Windmills everywhere! I actually find windmills a nice view by themselves.

Throughout the whole weekend I tried my very hardest to keep the screaming ED thoughts at bay. This is so difficult when they are usually so prominent. I wanted to enjoy the mini vacation and time with my husband and family. This is difficult though when I’m eating foods that are just SO foreign and sometimes you don’t even know that they are. I’m terrified of food that I don’t know the caloric content of and so I was face to face with one of my biggest fears every meal every day we were there. I was faced with people asking how my food was, asking if I had eaten and I felt like were watching me. I’m just different when it comes to food. I just want to eat it and not discuss it. Other people, normal people, that don’t have eating issues, are probably able to enjoy food more easily and discuss among themselves. It just keeps me like a cat on a hot tin roof! I tried to keep myself from being too on edge about it. I really did.

I did make one discovery at lunch Saturday though! I ate part of M’s sandwich and I learned that I think I like rye bread. I need to go to HEB asap so check this stuff out!

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Saturday evening was wedding time!!! The location for the ceremony was in the backyard of the house we were staying at and it was just gorgeous. It was simple but the scenery really took your breath away. The weather in Texas was finally cooperating as well!

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We ended the evening by having dinner at the reception and celebrating with the bride and groom.

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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray 🙂

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This weekend I had to learn to let go of some of my control. I can’t ALWAYS pack my lunch. I can’t ALWAYS know about food beforehand. I can’t ALWAYS be expected to pick the lowest calorie/most healthy choice on the menu. There are just some things I literally cannot know prior to events. I can’t let that damper my experiences though! I can’t let food keep me from having fun or a good time. I can’t let myself walk around in one giant ball of worry and anxiety because I’m worried about how this piece of bread will work in my body and where I’m going to find it in the mirror lately. Sometimes, you have to try and live in the moment and actually live.

Sometimes, you have to be fearless.

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Fun Things Friday 5/13

The 1950s called…they wanted to know if they could have their housewife back.

I wish!! There’s a time period I wished I lived in 🙂

This week while I was subbing the class I was in was reading Charlotte’s Web so I got to read them a few chapters. I forgot I liked that book! It was so cute and pretty great to re-live those moments with the kiddos.

Also in positive things this week….mail.

My birthday is next week so my Grandma mailed me a birthday present. Apparently my new obsession with salt and pepper shakers has been conveyed to her because she got me these 2 cute sets!!!!! The came from this old drugstore/old style restaurant where she lives that I love to go to.

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Are the pigs not the cutest things you’ve seen?!?! They just made me smile. She also sent me her old George Foreman Grill!!! I’ve been wanting one of these! So, naturally, I already created a Pinterest board so I can make some new recipes. She did really good this year.

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When I went to the local grocery store yesterday, the checker randomly gave me a rose. I don’t know why. I think all the women that went in there yesterday received them for some reason. It was nice though. Lastly, the world just needed to know how cute I think that it is when my Grandma mails me something. Ever since I got married, whenever she mails me something she always makes sure to write “Mrs.” and my first and last name. I don’t know if other people find that cute, but I think it’s super sweet and kind of adorable.

I’m kind of a dork and still over the moon about being married 🙂

For the most part, it’s been a pretty good week. There’s my random ramblings.

Rest Day and Restoration

It was an Easter-filled weekend!! On Saturday, Marty and I celebrated with his side of the family by having lunch at his grandmother’s along with his cousins. I used Easter as a good excuse to get a new couple new dresses. It doesn’t help that Easter is at an awkward time of the year where it’s slightly cold and windy.

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On Sunday, we enjoyed the church service with my family and then went out to my parents’ house for an Easter barbecue lunch. It was delicious! It’s been too long since I’ve eaten barbecue. I’ve really missed it.

 

Easter with my side of the family was on Sunday. Gotta take a picture with my two boys (that’s the-not so little-little brother).

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You would not believe how unbelievably difficult it is to get my own husband to take a picture!! However, this is a pretty accurate look at the two of us.

Oh! Also, I sort of cut my hair. It’s much shorter than it was before. It’s kind of freaking me out because I’m not used to it yet but I really like it! Putting it up in a pony tail is so odd!

This whole week I’ve been struggling with the anxiety of not working out one day this week. Well, long rambling cut short, I didn’t run yesterday and I’m still living enough to type this out and I didn’t seem to gain an obnoxious amount of weight merely overnight. So, instead of going and running and spending my time in the not so warm weather yesterday I got to work on this old chest that Marty took out of storage.

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It just needed a little love and a whole lot of lemon oil. I don’t have an after picture, but I swear it looks much nicer now!!

But it was a learning experience. I learned that I don’t always have to working out. I’m trying really hard to learn about taking rest days. Was it hard? Hell yes. Am I still freaking out over and is it still kind of bugging me this afternoon? Yes, it is. But the point is that I didn’t do it, and I used the time that I had to do something other than torture myself. Plus, it was kind of fun cleaning up this old piece of furniture and doing a mini restoration. It was kind of like looking at my own life. I am that old, dirty, slightly beat up chest there in that picture, but if I take rest days and try to take care of myself then I can hopefully feel like the restored version of the chest 🙂

Silly Holiday, Love Is Constantly Around!

The holiday of Valentine’s Day is upon us!!!! The spirit of love fills the air and hopefully YOU!!! I know, I know, it’s kind of a silly holiday. I’m right there with, ya! I hear you. It’s goofy to have a specific date tell you when you are supposed to publicly proclaim your love for another individual. But also…..don’t you sort of secretly like it/love it? (slowly raises hand) I’ll admit it!! I’m a closet Valentine’s Day lover/appreciator. I mean, you don’t HAVE TO or NEED TO get me anything expensive or cool, just tell me you love me and we can eat pizza.

On that note, I’ve decided to just say some things I’m thankful for this holiday or that make me feel all the butterflies/fluttery hearts/warm and fuzzy inside ❤

  1. Family that Cares: Marty’s grandmother made enchiladas and somehow got them across the county to us! Nobody asked her to make them, it was literally out of the kindness of her heart that she just took it upon herself to make them. It was so stinkin’ sweet! So kind and thoughtful! Just to have someone think about you can make you feel all fuzzy 🙂 Marty said they were good.

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2. Shared TV Shows: When Marty waits to watch the new episode of The Big Bang Theory until I get home, even though he doesn’t have to.

3. Children/Teaching: The kids at school who come up to you and how they are always excited to see your face and always willing to give you multiple hugs. Even IF they don’t know you!!

4. These quite spectacular zebra slippers that I forgot I had at my parents that now live with me again. Yay! Warm feelings.

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5. Little things: Like when you come home a baby shower on a Sunday and haven’t been home since very early Saturday morning and your husband has picked up the house, run the dishwasher, cleared up some clutter, and separated the laundry piles. Little things can be big things.

6. Husbands/Marriage: When Marty and I find funny pictures on Facebook at night to laugh at together before bed.

Sometimes in all of the hardships in life, we have to stop and find the little things that make life so spectacular. We have to stop, refocus, and marvel. Not everything in life worth marveling at will hit you straight in the face or out rightly make you realize that it’s something big. Often times, little things are the big things. They are always there though. Always. You just have to be willing to take a minute to appreciate them, soak it all in. 

Foggy Mornings & Brothers

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That picture was oddly comforting/pretty this morning as I drove to Sonora to watch Keegan show his sheep ( Linus and Sally. I may have a Peanuts obsession. They are just SO CUTE!!!) It was super, super foggy this morning and the sun had just risen in the sky. It just made this very pretty bright yellow ball in the sky that attempted to shine through the fog. It was pretty! It reminded me of how there is still hope in the day and new days!! That God is still there and He still has a hand in His beautiful world.

Today I also was a sub in 1st grade 🙂 They are pretty darn cute, however I forgot how hyper and how much work they can be! Although, that may not be an accurate depiction of how they always are because I just happened to be the sub on the afternoon where the kids can get a soda if they didn’t get any marks in their folder that 6 weeks. Of course there would be a sub that day. Maybe she did it on purpose 😉 TOTALLY KIDDING!! But it was good to get to seem them again and get to enjoy teaching again because towards the end of student teaching I felt like the life was just plain sucked out of me!

This picture may seem random to you, but it’s really not! This is a picture of my eating disorder ring. It has anchors because in the bible there is a verse, Hebrews 6:19—–>

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. “NIV

For me, anchors symbolize hope. I have hope that there is and will be an end to this pain that this eating disorder gives me. I even have “Stay fearless” inscribed on the inside of the band. Therefore, I wear this ring pretty much every day. It’s on my right index finger because I don’t wanna wear it on my ring finger and my wedding rings are on my left hand and I don’t like clutter.

Today I made a quick trip to the grocery store after school to get something so I could bake these banana muffins. It was literally the fastest trip. I went it and out with the same on still on the radio. I was almost all the way home when I realized that my ring was NO LONGER on my fingers!! I immediately felt extremely sad. I’ve had this ring for as long as I can remember now. I texted my Mom to tell her I had somehow lost my ring. Thankfully, she and Keegan were about to go through town and said they would look just to make sure. I basically had zero hope. Which is pretty ironic seeing as anchors symbolize hope to me…..hmmm.

Anyways!!!! Keegan ended up finding my ring right where I had told them I was parked!!! I was immediately so excited and relieved and my mood was lifted. Love that baby brother of mine (who turns 16 on Monday?!?! What is life?!)

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Side note: He did very well at showing today. And the bottom picture is him from my wedding.

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Find Your Bliss

Life is beautiful. There, I said it. It is. Even if you are in the worst mood no matter where you look, if you try hard enough you can find something that’s beautiful. You just have to be willing to try. The same can be said for fear. Life has fear, it just does. However, I’ve heard it said that the flip side of fear is excitement. So, as individuals, we have to be willing to harness our fear and see the excitement in it. We have to take control of whatever we are afraid of and use it for something positive! I’m preaching to myself here, as usual.

Five free printables available for download. They are totally free and feature several Bible verses and inspirational quotes. #freeprintable

Today I graduated from college. That brings on a whole flood of emotions. I worked attentively, purposely, duteously, and with much perseverance to be able to complete college in 3 ½ years. It’s been a long road, especially battling an eating disorder the whole way. Graduating bring fear and anxiety itself. It’s new and unknown and means that you are about to be thrust into the world and thrown into a new job or something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. You can choose to see that as fear and think that you have no earthly idea what you are doing! OR you can choose to see this next step as an adventure and as a brand new sparkling chapter in your book. It’s new, unmarked, and blemish free. You can make it anything you want! It’s a clean slate that can carry you to any place you want to go. You have to remember that God clearly led you to that position you are in and He wouldn’t have done that if He didn’t have faith in you and want you to succeed. God doesn’t want us to fail!! That anxiety and fear that we feel…well, it’s evil! No good, negative, throw it in the trash can evil! It can steal joy from happy moments and make you feel like you aren’t good enough. We have to continuously choose joy and happiness. We can’t let the fear creep up on us and steal the new adventure we are about to embark on.

“I want to be a woman who overcomes obstacles by tackling them in faith instead of tiptoeing around them in fear.” -Renee Swope

For me, I’m graduating in December and then I’ll start a new job in January teaching English to high school students. I’ve got some limited experience in that department, therefore I have so much fear, anxiety and major nerves building up. I’ve noticed lately that because of those 3 elements combining, that I’m trying to compensate for that in other departments (and by that, I do in fact mean the food/exercise department).  Because I can’t control the unknown, I’m trying to figure out ways to control what I can, which is food. I don’t wanna do that! I don’t want to go back to being miserable in a little corner. What a wonderful and joyous time of year this is!! I want to listen to Christmas music, watch cute animated Christmas films, shop, think of ways to decorate classrooms, and eat some Christmas treats! I don’t want to try and figure out ways to count calories or how to get rid of them. I want to choose joy, love and happiness and I’m going to try my very hardest! I want to celebrate life not hate it!!

Life is constantly calling us to make decisions, hard and simple. Today I had to choose to enjoy graduation and being with people I love the most. Sometimes, you have to search for the positive and joyous and block out the fear and others the bliss simply just appears.

Life’s Anticipation

Today is the final day of student teaching (clinical teacher…whatever). IT’S MY LAST DAY!!! When did this happen?! Am I even old enough to be in college, let alone a teacher!? They are actually going to let me mold impressionable young minds!? Sometimes, I think the state of Texas is crazy. With yesterday being the conclusion of a UIL meet, today being the end of the semester and graduation rapidly approaching, there are all sorts of emotions in the air. Excitement of actually being almost certified, fear of graduation and the future, paired along with excitement of the future because there are so many more beautiful memories, experiences and adventures to come! And of course, I cannot forget the excitement of being able to watch an unlimited amount of Christmas movies/shows because of this new things I’m about to have since finishing school….time!

I’ve come so far since the beginning of the semester. I started out this timid, young, zero experience student teacher who felt like she had no idea how to even step inside a classroom (ALSO: I was Miss McCollum). Now, at the end of this journey I feel like I can walk into the classroom (still nervously) and for the most part have a grasp at what I am supposed to accomplish (and this time, I’ll never be ‘miss’ again, I’ll be Mrs. Powell). Being a “Mrs.” is funny in itself. It’s a strange concept to think about how you permanently are going to live with someone but I can also say that it is literally the best decision you can ever make. It’s amazing to always have someone there with you to talk to, to laugh with, to watch the same TV shows over and over and over, to make them watch Christmas movies with you ;), and finally (this may be the most important) to never judge you for not wanting to make dinner. Maybe it’s just that I’m a newlywed or the spirit of the holidays getting to me, but I’ve just recently realized that there is just so much to be thankful for, appreciate, step back and just be in complete awe of in live. You have to love it. You have to enjoy it while you get the chance. I’m writing this and just thinking about how amazing God is and how thankful I am that he has given me a wonderful family and wonderful close friends that I get to experience life with! He’s allowed me to accomplish my goal of finishing college and it’s been a pretty good ride. He’s allowed me to finally start thinking and working towards recovery, which is a whole new mountain for me to climb, but He is with me!

It’s been a LONG semester filled with joy, anticipation, tiredness and of course, what would college be without STRESS? But I’ve made it through! I can say that I am a graduate, which apparently is a big deal. I get to say that I worked for 3 ½ years to accomplish this goal and I finally get to cross that finish line! Finally, I think what has been one of the best lessons I’ve learned over the course of this semester didn’t come from a school or a book, it’s come from God. I’ve heard it said countless times that “God has a plan for your life” and I took that, understood, and believed. It wasn’t until very recently though that I truly, truly started to believe that and started to watch things unfold the way they are supposed to and NOT how I imagined them. Which is frustrating and I feel like my life is one giant waiting game. But how boring would that be if everything actually went according to how we planned!? There would be no anticipation or excitement in life!! Look forward to the things you have to play the waiting game for in life, sometimes the waiting could be the best part.

(SIDENOTES: I made that one face a lot during the semester.)

Chocolate Pie Attempts and Grateful Hearts

Thanksgiving. A day devoted to being thankful for everything that God has given you. Sometimes I forget to be thankful and then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere something small reminds me and I realize just how incredibly blessed I am.

Free Thanksgiving Scripture Printables

For example, a few weeks ago, it was talking to the students in my classroom. There were talking about lunch and this one boy was saying that he wasn’t going to eat just to see how long he could go without food. I explained that he had to eat in order to live. Then, the entire class tried to correct me and say that another one of the students never eats lunch and that’s how she is so thin. This broke my heart in half!!!! I then explained again that she must eat a little bit or she must be eating at another point in time. It was right then and there that I remembered how thankful I was that my eating disorder hadn’t…well, killed me…and I had the opportunity to try and help those students. I was thankful to be in that room of young minds and get to interact with them and help them learn; even though in that moment I was clearly learning something from them.

Such lovely sayings for Thanksgiving -- click for more quotes! http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/164469/16_thanksgiving_quotes_about_gratitude

The other day, it was just some random song that came on the radio that reminded me how much I enjoyed the life that God has given me! And today, it was getting the notice that I passed my final teacher certification test that I took on Monday!!!!!!! (And also getting wedding pictures. I would post some, but apparently my internet just straight up sucks!) I was so nervous and worried over it, but it was God’s will that I pass that dang test. He was with me the whole time I took it which enabled me to excel at it.

Thanksgiving Owl SVG cutting file thanksgiving svg cuts cute clip art clipart turkey cut file for scrapbooking

Sometimes, it’s simple things in life that remind you of everything that you have. It makes you just take a moment and soak it all in. Life is wonderful, y’all and I am so blessed with everything and by EVERYONE that is in mine!!!

Now, I’m not really a fan of the whole Thanksgiving holiday/feast thing. Like at all. Me and food, well we go way back, but we aren’t really friends. So I still have quite the aversion to the whole ‘let’s eat/make a whole bunch of food’ thing.  Food brings a whole lot of anxiety and fear that I’m currently trying to cope with. However, I am quite a fan of thinking about everything God has supplied you with and being thankful, spending time with family (even if you get to see them often), spending time with friends, traditions, baking, the love and joy, and anything else you can think of that the holiday entails (….like the start of the Christmas season maybe?)  Today, tomorrow and Friday (I’m also celebrating that day) I’m just really trying to focus on everything in my life that brings joy, happiness and is positive. This holiday does have positive aspects!!! Even if through my eyes it’s mostly all about eating. I’m trying my very hardest to overlook that part and focus on the thankful portion or what I believe is the core of the whole day.

Since I’m already rambling…this year is my first Thanksgiving as a married woman. So, I’m trying out some new recipes as well as making some foods that are new to me, like chocolate pies. I had an attempt at that today (it’s basically the only kind of pie Marty will eat.) I attempted 1…okay 2. The key word there is attempted. Hopefully one of them turns out alright! If not, well I’m sure there will be plenty of turkey left.

Anyway……God has been so good to me, y’all!!!

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Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These Wildest Dreams

The world isn’t black and white. Recovery isn’t black and white either. Not too long ago, I thought it was only in my wildest dreams. It’s not though! Recovery is about forging a new path in the snow. It’s like the coach I met with me said, “Recovery is like taking a sled and going down a snowy hill. You’ve been going down the same path for SO long that the tracks from the sled are carved so deeply in the snow that making a new path seems absolutely terrifying. But that’s recovery. That’s what we have to do!! The first couple of times, it’s bumpy, you may fall off, there are unexpected twists and turns, but eventually you get to the bottom. Then, you climb back up and do it ALL over again. The more we create and form the new path, the easier it gets.”

North Lake Tahoe

That’s what I’ve been doing for the past 2 weeks, forming a new path in my head and creating new habits. I’ve been trying to let go of fear and learn more about me. Recovery is about a journey to your true self. The actual person you are, your authentic self. The self without the eating disorder. I have goals, wants and needs outside the eating disorder part of me. That part of me doesn’t call all the shots! The part of me that’s constantly scared, fearful of other’s opinions, anxiety ridden, and that walks around so bogged down from fear that I’m tired and can’t be happy sometimes is NOT my authentic self! I have to learn to listen to myself, to listen to my body and what it wants. Without constantly catering to what the eating disorder part of me wants, I can have more time to focus on other things….like finding an actual hobby. This week alone, I read books I wanted to, cleaned, changed our bed set up, and even baked something (that was a slight fiasco). Nevertheless, I did have some time to focus on other things. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard as hell some days. You know that saying, “fall down three times, stand back up four times”? Or whatever it is. Yeah, that’s what I’m living.

One of my favorite quotes

Not every day is easy. Not every day is even fun. Life isn’t happy-go-lucky as soon as you decide to just stop listening to the eating disorder part of you. It’s still there. It’s still real. It still hurts! But, that’s what recovery is about. It’s about saying “hey, eating disorder voice, I hear you, I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not going to deal with/listen to you right now. I’m going to go do….” Eating disorder recovery is about healing and part of that healing is learning about yourself. Which brings me to my next point…it’s about loving, accepting and being proud of yourself.

I'll be fine if they don't:

We live in a world where people preach confidence and then turn right around and criticize you for being confident and proud of yourself. I’m about to tell you that I’m learning to accept myself by saying “I am who I am. If you like me, great and if you don’t like me, that’s great too. But this is me, and I’m going to go on and be myself.’  I’m learning to try to be an actual friend to myself. I’m proud of myself for realizing that I need help. I’m proud of myself for meeting with someone. I’m proud of myself for being about to try and make a new path. I’m proud of myself for almost being through with student teaching (I finished my last evaluation this week.) I’m proud of myself for doing student teaching and somehow managing to get married in the middle! I’m proud of all of the things that my body can somehow manage to, and finally, I’m proud of myself for about to be a college graduate. I’m never actually thought it was okay to be proud of myself, but I had a short conversation with my coach today and she said to write down all of the things I was proud of myself for. She also said it’s great to be proud of yourself! That’s self-acceptance!!!! So, there is it. I’m proud of myself. You should be proud of yourself too.

I know I need help. I have hurt people and never intended to. And that I can't live with cause I hurt the most important person in my life and I have lost her. I can't do this alone. So nervous and scared yet hopefully to be going to pine lodge tomorow. I know it's gonna be tough but so what I need. I surrender cause my way isn't working for me.

In the spirit of the season of thankfulness (considering Thanksgiving is less than a week from today), on my way home I realized that I have so many things to be thankful for. I’m actually happy. I’m so incredibly blessed by everything that surrounds me and that has happened to me in the past couple of months. I’m thankful for my family (the new and old), my friends (especially the ones who have been with me through thick and thin…nudge, nudge), KIDS to teach, music, writing, books, GOD and the opportunities that I have been given in this life BY HIM. I find myself full of gratitude and looking at the world in a positive light rather than negative. Life is beautiful.  Stay Fearless, y’all ❤

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Rhythm of YOUR Heartbeat

I’ve never had to love someone who hated themselves. I’ve never had to watch someone dislike themselves to much that they curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor and cry until their eyes are slightly sore. I’ve never had to experience someone telling me they are angry at themselves for eating actual food for dinner. I’ve never had to hold someone as they cried and felt like they were insane because they didn’t like what the mirror reflected. Finally, I’ve never had someone tell me that sometimes they felt like they wanted to die instead of keep on hating themselves.

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Personally, I’ve never been exposed to the receiving end of all those emotions that are probably more difficult to hear than I know. However, I have felt every single one of those emotions, last night to be exact.

I’ve found that at  night for the past couple of weeks, I’ve grown infuriated with myself. I get so angry because I made dinner for my husband and I and then I eat it. I get so angry that I ate a meal that wasn’t yogurt. I feel like I can feel my body changing….getting bigger with each passing moment. My brain is screaming, Ed is screaming, I literally feel like screaming and my fingernails dig into my skin. There’s nothing I can compare this feeling to. Then, mixed in with all the anger, I feel….sad. Sad because I literally can’t handle it all or make myself do it. I’m angry, I’m sad and I’m hurt.

With you, I'm comfortable.  I know I can talk to you about anything, or sit by your side in complete silence.  You see me at my worst, but only talk about my best.  I can be happy about my biggest achievements, while you know my deepest insecurities.  I'm comfortable with you, and you should know that means everything to me.:

As I’m sitting there on my bathroom floor, pretty positive that my legs don’t work anymore because I can’t get up and I haven’t moved in probably 20 minutes, something I’m highly unaccustomed to happens. My husband some in. He says nothing. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong and he doesn’t ask what I’m doing. He quickly shuffles around to the other side of me and I can feel his arms encircle me. He is literally sitting on the bathroom floor with me while my head is buried in my knees. I didn’t say anything for a while or even look up because I’m pretty ashamed of my puffy red face and snot nose. It’s just shaky breath sounds for a while. Finally though, when I do speak it’s just telling him I hate food and I don’t see how I can do this. All he does is reassure me that it’s all going to be okay and somehow, in that moment, it helps.

The Best Quotes About Love and Marriage:

Whoever said that marriage isn’t worth it or doesn’t work was mistaken. I didn’t realize what it would be like to have someone to always come home to and to always be there for you (or sit on the bathroom floor with you 😉 ) It’s pretty freakin’ cool/amazing/fantastic/a feeling indescribable. I didn’t realize until my drive to work this morning that the part in our vows that goes “in sickness and in health” was something we would experience right off the bat. Not that I forgot I had an eating disorder, I just forgot that qualified as a “sickness”.

That was my Wednesday and this is my Thursday, feeling sad and unsure. Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet.

Anne of Green Gables “Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables: