Tag Archives: nutrition

Link Love 6/19

Fun/Quiz:

See 100 Years of Family Dinners in Under Just 3 Minutes– by Erin Brelsford via OneCountry

Ewwww to 1935. And wait, that was dinner in 1975??? YES! 1985 with the sloppy joes. I also love to see all the different plates and their various patterns.

How Many Mary-Kate and Ashley Movies and Shows Have You Seen?– by Alyse Whitney via PopSugar

This makes me want to watch their movies AND go back and watch all the ones I’ve never seen.

The New Pixar Short Short Before ‘Finding Dory’ Is The Cutest Thing The Studio Has Ever Done– by Johnny Brayson via Bustle

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Image  and Walt Disney Pictures; Pixar

Health:

Please Let’s Stop Going To Extremes With Nutrition– by Ellyn Satter via Figureate

Fear and Its Role in Your Eating Disorder (and Recovery)– by Cayanne via HealthyEzSweetLife

 

Because you just needed to know this!!!!!

American Girl Just Released an Adorable New Doll Line- by  Kaitlin Menza via GoodHouse Keeping

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Can I Have A Burger Now?

If you are anything like me, you have a lot of random thoughts during the day. At least, I hope I’m not the only one. Lately, I’ve had this recurring thought that I can’t seem to shake about my condition with my eating disorder, recovery and overall health.

I find myself wondering daily if working out all the time and eating “healthy” is really all worth it anymore. Sure, you should probably treat your body nicely and not just shove junk food in it all the time. But at what point do we stop? At what point does “eating healthy” stop. At what point does “healthy lifestyle” stop for me?? I keep telling myself that I can cut down on the workouts and eat different food and eat a freaking hamburger every now and then (I literally can’t remember the time I ate one. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I ate fast food.) I’m scared of it. But I just kinda want Sonic so bad! But…I’m a scaredy cat. What else can I do? When can I stop killing myself to keep fit?

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Lately, I walk around wondering when I stop torturing my body. When do I “let myself go” or “let myself live”? What is that point? I’ve been thinking lately, I’ve done the whole “super thin/fit/eating disorder look” hell, there are pictures to prove that from basically my entire college career and I’ve got bridal and wedding photos to prove that I was fairly sick. Do I really have to be that extreme anymore? Do I really have to keep trying to maintain a lifestyle where buying clothes at the store is a chore because of the size or only being able to eat certain foods on menus at restaurants because they don’t have an insane amount of calories or fat? Do I really have to constantly be a slave to some sort of running/elliptical every single day in order to maintain my current weight? Eventually, I’d like to think that I’m going to be able to take a day off from workouts and not freak the frick out or do yoga one day instead of intense cardio. There has to be a point where I can eat a sandwich on regular bread and not think anything of it, right?  I mean, there is photographic evidence in my life that I was thin and I was capable of being a thin person. I will forever have those photos. So, do I keep trekking down that road? Do I stop and suddenly eat whatever normally is?

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Does it end when I just give up working out altogether? I don’t necessarily think that’s the best idea. I think that might screw me up more. Right now I don’t have a ton going on so I would need something to fill my time. Plus, that sounds like I’m basically asking myself to be more restrictive with food. Does it end when I have a baby? If I can even have one. Does it end when I eventually get my first teaching job? I don’t think I will be able to come home from work every day and do a 30-45 minute running session. I just don’t. Which scares the ever-loving daylights out of me. You can’t even fathom how terrifying that is to me. That’s a whole bunch of change just thrown at me at once. I’ll be a first year teacher, have a job from at least 7:30-4, have to figure out dinner, commutes, and I just don’t see how workouts can always be an everyday thing. It’s scary.

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This whole thought process of mine lately is scary. I just keep wondering…..what if I wasn’t a size 2, what if it was a size 4 or 6 instead. Would that change anything? Would people suddenly think I was ridiculous or would they even notice? I’m not saying I want to go from one extreme to another (which would be having a body weight that was no longer healthy for my height) I’m just saying that what if I finally got to live like a normal person?

Also, can I just go eat something from Sonic now???

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Move Over, KFC!

Move over KFC and Whataburger, my chicken strips could be coming for you! Totally kidding, not even kind of close, but still good. My homemade chicken strips adventure was a success!!! I used a recipe from Skinny Ms that was really for chicken nuggets but I was too lazy to cut up chicken so I just bought tenders. These were super easy to make though! http://skinnyms.com/skinny-chicken-nuggets

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The “before”

The “after”. They really don’t look much different do they?

Of course, I had to make my sweet potato fries because I’m completely obsessed with sweet potatoes!! Anyone else have a love for sweet potatoes? All in all, I’m very proud of myself for this 🙂

Wednesday Reads

Demolishing The “Fat Makes You Fat” Myth- Paleo Leap http://paleoleap.com/demolishing-fat-makes-fat-myth/

Part of what started my eating disorder initially was the fact that I am scared, no terrified, complete petrified of “fat” in my food. When I read nutrition facts, I go straight to the “fat” content. So when I’ve been at my lowest points, I’ve basically been eating no fat. When I met with the nutritionist she reassured me that a body does need fat from foods and it’s NOT all bad!!!! You need grams of fat in your diet! This has been a huge roadblock and hurdle for me to tackle because I’m so used to not eating it, avoiding it or feeling guilty about consuming it. I decided maybe I needed to read it from an article that “fat” wasn’t bad, so there is the article I read and keeps the majority of my anxiety over this at bay (there is still a TON).

New Campaign Reveals The Truth About Beauty- Kelsey Miller; Refinery 29; Project Heal http://www.refinery29.com/2016/02/103609/eating-disorders-awareness-week-project-heal#slide

This is eating disorder awareness week as most of you know and I just thought this article from Project Heal was spectacular.  I encourage you to think about yourself when it talks about the hashtags #WhatMakesMeBeautiful. What makes you beautiful? You can’t be wrong!!!! It’s your own opinion of yourself and how you feel about Y-O-U. I love what all of the women in the slideshow had to say about themselves, it was uplifting to see that loving yourself and liking parts of yourself isn’t frowned upon, but in fact encouraged! I am challenging myself with this same question of what makes me beautiful.

Question: Does anybody know what Pixar’s movie The Good Dinosaur is about? Hahahaha…I’m a 21 year old child.

A Teaspoon of Almond Butter

Sometimes celebrating a holiday late is even sweeter than celebrating on the actual day 🙂 Just like in 2014, when Marty and I celebrated our 1st (of course it was a few days late because he was being released from the Army and all) Valentine’s Day he brought me those wooden roses in the background. In 2016, he’s having both of those traditions continue. Flowers that don’t die 🙂

In more….less happy news. We have some things to lay out on the table here. Let’s talk about yesterday and today (mostly the morning).

After that doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago, it kind of scared me into recovery. I realize that I can’t keep doing what I have been and I CAN’T fix myself. So, yesterday, I got some help. I had a visit with a nutritionist who showed me a graph of what my body needs in high priority and what it’s currently getting with what I’m supplying it with. She gave me suggestions, meal ideas and kind of told me what would happen if I didn’t eat. Basically, it’s stuff I knew I needed, but I just needed to be told by someone certified in that field that it was okay to eat “fat” and “protein”. Mainly the fat. I’ve been so scared of it. I find myself wondering lately how death actually hasn’t already greeted me after seeing those results……………..

Back to the “fat” part. I need those for so many reason. To function properly, to digest, for my brain to operate correctly, to have a baby one day, ultimately to not die and for those essential amino acids. Scary/serious stuff y’all.

Here I am. Staring at the cold hard information. Someone can tell me to eat all day and that it’s good for me, it’s the applying it over and over, day in and day out that’s the hard part. I’m sitting here trying to make a grocery list remembering…BABY STEPS. I CAN’T automatically start eating like that. My body literally won’t be able to handle or process it because I’ve deprived it for so long. Ease into it. Baby steps. I’m completely and utterly terrified. Scared out of my freaking dang mind.

I had extreme anxiety last night at the though of eating Justin’s Maple Almond Butter that I had my mom get so I could start my first baby step this morning.

I drove home with this almond butter sitting shotgun the whole way and as I got out to open the gate in front of my house I felt like I was going to cry. I’m just scared. This is the most horrifying adventure I’ve ever had to go on. But I HAVE to go. I have no choice. I was stressed out and nervous and I knew the next day was going to be different and HARD. And the day after that, and the next week……

Turns out though, almond butter is pretty good. Even if it was only a teaspoon.

In Omnia Paratus

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This sandwich right here is a really big freaking deal. Huge. To you, it looks like an ordinary sandwich (well, maybe not because of the bread). I used cinnamon raisin bread, because well that’s the BEST kind of bread there is. Anyways, you’re looking at it probably asking yourself what is so dang special about this particular sandwich. It’s a peanut butter sandwich and an apple. The special part: the fact that there are 2 whole pieces of bread. 2!!!!! Not 1. Not 1 1/2….but 2! I never never never ever eat sandwiches with 2 pieces of bread. I’m scared of it and I don’t like it and I don’t wanna do it. I felt like eating a “sandwich” with 1 piece of bread gave me some type of discipline and control that other people just didn’t have. That’s so not true!!! It means that I irrationally fear a piece of bread. Who in the world is afraid of bread? Me.

I ate that sandwich with 2 pieces of bread because I’ve recently come to a very startling, harsh and horrifying fact that’s staring at me straight in the face. I’m scared/nervous to even type it out. This is my heart on my sleeve. This is an insight into the most vulnerable part of my being. Exposing all of my elements, secrets and disguises.

Some times things just happen to you. I didn’t mean for this eating disorder to happen to me. While it could probably be argued that I did in fact do this to myself, I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing initially. I just thought I was “getting healthy”. I didn’t originally set out to lose more than 5 pounds or just gain a little bit of muscle tone. I didn’t. I didn’t realize that “getting healthy” meant becoming a slave to my own mind, being frightened of almost all foods, being afraid to be around people, sleeping just plain awful at night, having my thoughts consumed with food, and worst of all being unnerved, and sent into an utter panic over my own feelings and emotions that I buried deeper the more I developed my eating disorder.

So, what the heck am I rambling on about? I went to the doctor last Monday so I’ve had an entire week to process and cope with this. When you go to the doctor, they make you get on a scale (which I get on backwards as to not see the numbers) and take your blood pressure. Twas that day that I was suddenly slammed with the reason why I’m so cold all the time, my fingernails are often found a shade of purple, sometimes why I’m kind of mean and angry, and why tired so quickly in the evening. At first I just noticed that my blood pressure was lower than usual. Like way lower. I already have a lower blood pressure but this was abnormal for even me. Then, at the end of the appointment, the nurse handed me this paper that was just going over what the doctor had said to me. I glanced at it, not realizing that it would have my weight on it…..it did. It was at that point, that I realized why I always seemed to live in Antarctica and everyone else seemed to live on a normal continent.

It was at that moment where I felt panic and my heart ached. I never meant to do that to myself. I never meant for things to get quite that bad. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, that it was happening, that things changed or how I even achieved that. I didn’t want my gold star……..

It was at that moment that I realized……I might actually be sick.

So here I am. Trying to make arrangements to change that. Arrangements that are going to push me. They are going to help me heal and enjoy life and live in color instead of living in black and white and watching the colors swirl around me. These things are going to push me and I’m going to push back because I DO NOT WANT TO do them. I don’t. I don’t wanna change. I worked hard for this. BUT I HAVE TO. HAVE TO. I don’t have a choice anymore. If I want to continue living, if I want to continue to have a life with my husband, if I want to teach kids, and one day if I want to have a family. I have to keep pushing for the healthy version of me. I have to fight for the good.

But following inspiration people who are doing the same things as me or are a little further along in their journey than me is helpful. Especially when they are so kind as to stop, reach out their hand, and touch others.

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God bless, Julia of http://www.lord-still-loves-me.com/

On a much happier note 🙂

Image: http://bluesclues.wikia.com/wiki/Blue’s_Clues_House

I also finished my mini cross stitch this afternoon while I watched a ton of Gilmore Girls AND the Charlie Brown Valentine’s Day DVD I got!! I’m kind of obsessed with Charlie Brown and all things Peanuts. And maybe it’s just me, but this little house I did sort of reminds me of the Blue’s Clues house….haha.

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Now I just want to go watch all the animated movies in my drawer!!!! Really, I’m just a child in an adult body.