Tag Archives: peanut butter

Peanut Butter Swamp

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Focus On You — Here’s How– by Lisa Quast via Forbes

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Do you ever feel like you are standing completely still and the world is just whizzing by? Like you are sprinting as fast as you can but the peanut butter you are trekking through is slowing you down? It just won’t let you move any quicker than you are already going? Am I the only one who feels like I’m trying so hard, exerting all the efforts and doing everything I can the “right way” but still coming up a little short than others? Am I the only one who feels like they are stuck in a peanut butter swamp?!

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my peanut butter; but I don’t love running in it.

We’ve heard it said before that comparing yourself to others won’t get you anywhere. It won’t make you feel better about yourself. It won’t make you more successful and it doesn’t mean you are better than anybody else. Comparison creates misery. It doesn’t matter what we are comparing ourselves to others on, whether it be our body, our job, our intelligence, relationships, cooking skills, friendships or anything else under the sun, it’s all so self-destructive and damaging.

Everyone is on their own journey in life. We are all in different places. Lately, I’ve noticed in myself that as I look at these snapshots of other people’s lives on Instagram or Facebook I feel a little discouraged. I see people around my age getting married or graduating (which I’ve done both), getting a job, becoming more physically fit, reaching diet goals, reaching life goals, having a baby, traveling and seeming to have these grand successes. And I’m happy for them! I truly am but I feel like I’m standing in thick peanut butter. I can’t seem to stop myself from comparing my life to theirs! What is wrong with me?! It’s not that I’m not content with where I am. I love my life and everything God has provided me. I think that at times I just feel discouraged because I feel like I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to get a job and just come up short. Or, I see other women my age having a baby and it starts to me nervous and think… “Oh, should I be trying to have a baby? Am I getting old?!” (I know that’s an irrational thought. I’m NOT old. I also know that starting a family right now is not a road I want to venture down. However, that doesn’t stop my panic every now and then.) Then I see all the ads, progress pictures or just already in great shape women I follow and think that I’m “letting myself go”. I begin to think that I’m not pretty enough, I’m not working out hard enough and I’m going to gain all this weight and not be happy.

Here’s where my history with an eating disorder does not work in my favor. When I’m stressed out (which I already am with working towards recovery) I originally found my eating disorder voice. When I felt like I wasn’t good enough I found myself masking my emotions and feelings aside and trading them in for workouts, food restriction and cutting myself off from others. I was scared just like I am now. I have to fight so hard to keep my mind away from those thoughts. Some days they get the best of me. Some days I have to coach myself and say, “It’s okay to eat. It’s not going to make you less of a person.” or “You don’t have to run more than 4 miles. Moving a little is better than not moving at all.” I’m so terrified by other’s success that I feel like my minor ones are insignificant or even worse, failures.

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The fact that I can run 4 miles now, is a success. However, when I see these Instagram posts, “super fit pregnancy” pictures or Pinterest things with photographs of way physically fit women, I suddenly feel like less of a person and my confidence is shaken. I just start to wonder what I’m doing wrong or what else I could do to achieve their success. I feel like I’ve fallen behind. When I see someone else finally get the job they have been looking for, I begin that exact same cycle of comparison and wonder what I could do differently…..to achieve their success.

The two key words here are their success. Wait, why do I have somebody else’s success?! I AM capable of my OWN success. I just have to be patient. I have to work on myself. I have to be content with where I am in my journey in life. I don’t want someone else’s used gum, so why would I want someone else’s success? It’s already being used there. I want my own! Just like I want my own York patties, pizza and peanut butter sandwich 🙂

We haven’t “fallen behind” as we so often feel. We aren’t less of a person because we don’t look like someone else or aren’t in the exact same place as some people in our journey in life! We don’t know how long the person we are comparing ourselves to has been stuck in their own peanut butter swamp or what it took to get them to their current success. We are just us. We are all just doing the best we can. The best thing we can remember is this:

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And to remember to be patient and content-even in hard times-in our own peanut butter swamp.

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What’s My Age Again?

HAPPY NATIONAL PEANUT BUTTER LOVERS DAY!!!!!!!!!!

I personally have this day basically every other day but I love that there is a kooky national day devoted to it! I need to find something peanut buttery 🙂

Last Friday I had to make a run to the grocery store and run a few errands around town and I stumbled upon these little guys!

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Nips! A while back, my mom was talking to me about these but we never found them. While I was waiting for my prescription at Walgreens, I found them! I couldn’t resist getting 2 flavors and they are pretty delicious. I feel like liking this food could also make me like a 60 year old lady (sigh). A successful find though!

Also, that day, I decided to show my inner child. Who am I kidding, I show that all the time! I embrace the fact that I’m totally in love with all children’s movies and the fact I would jump at the chance to watch an animated movie rather than any other kind. I caved and bought The Good Dinosaur. I hadn’t seen it when it came out in theaters so I was a bit nervous but as it turns out this movie was super cute! Makes me want a little green dinosaur. I curled up on my bed, started working on my cross stitch (because I’m a little old lady) and had myself a good Friday evening. Marty even joined me for a bit.

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I haven’t had a whole bunch of exciting things happen lately….but I did get a cool mail delivery that I’m pretty excited about.

I ordered the Tartelette Tease Palette from Ulta because they didn’t have it at our store and it finally came in the mail!! I haven’t gotten the chance to use it just yet but I’m ready!

I just have one question…..WHY, WHY, WHY is the box that this shipped in so dang large?!

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Pretty colors 🙂

Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday! 🙂 Also, in the post, I have no idea what age I am. I could be 6, 60, or 21, you decide. Go eat some peanut butter!!

Chocolate & Peanut Butter

This is me making a terrified/goofball of a face because eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Hear is literally the most petrifying thing I’ve done today.

Because Valentine’s Day has slowly crept it’s way upon us, there are constantly-and I do mean constantly-commercials with chocolate and candy on TV. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a Reese’s commercial or a jewelry commercial. (Heads up, just give me York patties for Valentine’s Day). Anyways, I saw a ton of these peanut butter cup ads on TV and I decided that I just wanted one so freakin’ bad.

So, today, when I had to go trash can shopping because we somehow lost the lid to our trash can yesterday (WHO even does that?! Seriously!) I had my mom buy some Reese’s hearts….I ONLY wanted hearts. I wanted to be in the spirit of Valentine’s Day. Plus, food is just better when it is cut in a cute shape.

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Just looking at the bag was scary. I didn’t even really wanna touch it, almost like it was evil and forbidden. I had to tell myself that the voice I was hearing telling me that if I ate one that I was “bad” or “dumb” was from Ed and from the Devil. It wasn’t really and truly my voice. I mean, peanut butter cups combine 2 of my all time favorite foods. Literally. Chocolate and peanut butter. Those are 2 foods that I wish I could solely survive on. They could possibly be equivalent to heaven on Earth.

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Then, I unwrapped the pretty shiny packaged chocolate hearts and ate the scariest thing that I’ve eaten since my wedding cake. Reese’s hearts. Were they good? Uh, yeah! You’re talking to a peanut butter lover!!! Am I still living? Yes. Did the world come crashing down around me? Well, not yet. I’m still scared out of my mind. I’m still squirming in my seat. I’m still freaking out slightly and I might be for a few days. I can’t even explain it to you. But that’s not the point. The point is that was a major K-Pow moment!

Sharing Sunday

The Loft Challenge #3 (by Our Misadventures)Image: http://artjournaling.tumblr.com/post/45451839848/the-loft-challenge-3-by-our-misadventures

I’ve been thinking about this list for quite some time but I’ve never actually sat down and written it. There has just been a running record of all of my fear foods in my brain that I scan through before I eat something. Today, I made this list in a note on my phone and I probably still left out some. So, here’s my Sharing Sunday:

Fear Food List:

  • Pizza
  • Breakfast tacos/burritos
  • Bacon
  • Peanut Butter (I usually eat Pb2 or Better n’ Peanut Butter)
  • Bread (sandwich, bagel, rolls, etc.)
  • Cheese
  • Juice drink (well, liquid calories)
  • Candy/chocolate (that’s not a York Patty or starburst)
  • French Fries
  • Butter
  • Pastries (pie, donuts, etc.)
  • Ice cream/cake
  • Hamburgers (not with extra lean beef)
  • Grilled Cheese
  • Baked Goods (brownies, cookies)
  • Pop Tarts (which I used to love. Especially the gingerbread, sugar cookie and brown sugar kind!)
  • Basically ANY fast food
  • Cinnamon Rolls
  • Yogurt with fat
  • Nuts
  • Salads with dressing
  • Starbucks
  • Things I don’t know the caloric content of
  • Pasta
  • Mexican food

Looking at this list is totally overwhelming. Totally intimidating. Are there any foods in the world that I do eat? Geez!! I mean do you know how long it’s been since I’ve eaten a grilled cheese? I literally don’t even know! But I’m seriously super petrified of EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of these foods. I’m scared of eat them and of what they might possibly even kind of do to my body. For the longest time-still currently-I’ve viewed food as negative. I view it as a chore and something that I have to do. It’s not enjoyable or fun! I don’t view food as nourishment and fuel as view it as evil and such a stupid thing that I need to survive. At my house, people sometimes joke that I’m the “air child” meaning that I can sustain life by consuming merely air. I SO wish!! Wouldn’t that make my problems just disappear and be that much simpler?

However, viewing food in this manner isn’t correct. It’s a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad (see my Alexander and the Terrible Day joke???) way to live. It’s crippling and miserable at times and I always feeling negative thoughts about food, me and from Ed creeping around every corner. Every time I swallow, actually. Even in the safe foods!!

In order to take a step in recovery I’ve got to start down the path of repairing my very broken relationship with food. Ed as well as myself have associated negative feelings and thoughts with food for so many years that there is some major damage. It’s going to take time to repair my relationship with food. It’s going to take many baby steps and honestly, it’s probably going to be painful to eat some of these foods.

(I did eat pizza the other day though, y’all!! And I’m still walking around here.)

I’m not saying that I need to eat these foods immediately! It may take a few months to even try another one. I’m not saying that I’m going to eat these foods all the time either (but maybe once in a blue moon I can eat a donut or drink a Starbucks beverage without completely flipping out). In the end of all of this, I just want to come out stronger. I want to be able to live a “healthy” lifestyle. That means that most of the time I eat the foods that are good and nutritious for my body and then sometimes I indulge and eat that food that isn’t always so great for you. I have to learn that I don’t have to be 100% healthy and “on my game” constantly.

Image: fightthewhispers.tumblr.com/post/55658747516/peenutbutterprincess-a-guide-to-overcoming-your                                                                             fightthewhispers.tumblr.com/mystory

This is a journey of one day at a time and one foot in front of the other.