Tag Archives: pizza

Happy Happenings<3

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1.I thought I was going to miss Coca Cola’s names on all their bottles that they did last summer (I finally found one with Marty’s name) but I think I’m going to be a fan of these lyrics they are doing. Especially if I can get some T-Swizzle lyrics.

2. 6 month celebration, anyone? Marty had requested Pizza Hut pizza. He wanted the pizza with the garlic knots as the crust but they apparently don’t make that anymore. So I got his favorite kind of pizza….I ate a different kind.

I also got some chocolate cake for him and angel food cake for me 🙂 It’s THE best stuff! The cupcake selection turned out to be pretty lame.

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3. Instead of garlic knot pizza crust, I just got some garlic knots. Still a win, right???

4. These little guys got here yesterday!!! Mr. and Mrs. Humpty Dumpty. They are super precious. Just saying. We’ll see how long it takes for Marty to notice them.

5. My feeling about all the rain lately? Well, I’d be a bad Texan if I said I didn’t like it. I enjoy the rain. However, I do not enjoy the mud, flooding for some people and the humidity that comes with it. I actually don’t really think I mind cloudy grey skies every now and again.

6. Lastly, I saw this on the Facebook page I follow, Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW

5She has so many great posts! I find myself cheering along and saying ‘yes!’ pretty much every single time she posts a picture. I have wayyyy too many screen shots from it.

Have a happy day! 🙂

 

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Thinking Out Loud #2

Three words. Lean cuisine pizza. 

  1. It’s been a very, very, very long time since I’ve have the courage to eat a microwave pizza. Microwave anything, probably. This pizza has been living in my freezer for weeks. Weeks I tell you! I’ve been trying to work up to this thing for what feels like forever now. Not that it’s really that bad for you, but my mind and Ed have me convinced that it is. All day long yesterday I worked and worked myself up to this. I spent the day coaching myself, telling myself that I did deserve food and that it would be all A-Ok! All. Day. Long.

Now, let me just say, that this IS NOT now my favorite flavor. I’ve never tried it…but I chose it for reasons that don’t need to be listed. However, it wasn’t totally disgusting, it was fairly tasty and I would probably purchase it again. My all time favorite is the four cheese 🙂

Victory in pizza and Ed land here.

2. I’ve decided I’m thinking out loud with quotes. This just spoke to me. It also made me chuckle pretty hard. I’m not  going to elaborate on this quote, it pretty much speaks for itself. Just let it sink in.

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Barbara Spanjers- Cake Is Magical Wellness barbaraspanjers.com

3. This quote also made me laugh…the green juice. I’m sorry, I actually like the color green but I also feel pretty uncomfortable about drinking it. But this is SO dang true! It doesn’t matter how much yogurt, fruits or how many vegetables I consume, if I’m still freaking out about even *thinking* about eating a York Patty or some other kind of dessert, that’s not mentally healthy or stable! Normal people and intuitive eating don’t work like that. Peace with food doesn’t mean that I constantly have to figure out how to rid my body of calories, think about how they are going to affect me or how I can suppress my random hunger during the day. That’s not normal and that’s not peace, girl, that’s still pretty hell-ish.

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Jennifer Rollin and http://www.karenmeier.com

4. On a happy note, we all know that I’m a 6 year old trapped in a 21 year old body with the hobbies of a 60 year old woman…and I’m kind of obsessed with Charlie Brown, Snoopy and The Peanuts. I came across with while searching it on Pinterest……..

How dang cute is this?!?!?! Doesn’t your heart just melt?!!!! Also, if Beagles actually resembled Snoopy in the slightest, I would definitely, positively own one. Too bad they don’t 😦

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http://notesandsigns.blogspot.com/

I now need to find this on a DVD so I can watch it over and over.

That’s my random rambling for my Thinking Out Loud Thursday.

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Thinking Out Loud brought to you by Amanda with Running With Spoons http://www.runningwithspoons.com

 

Link Love: Valentine’s Day Edition

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! ❤ 

I’ve been taking a whole bunch of quizzes this week. Maybe it’s all the love in the air that just made me want to have fun.

Quizzes/Happy Things:

  1. I took Which Winnie The Pooh Character Are You? (It’s my all time favorite childhood cartoon. I STILL watch it.) OF COURSE I would get Piglet!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/crystalro/which-winnie-the-pooh-character-are-you#.lb2dOkYKJ

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2. I then took Which Peanuts Character Are You? http://www.buzzfeed.com/keelyflaherty/which-peanuts-character-are-you#.mjWnVjmwd

Good thing I love Sally and have a “Sweet Baboo” hahaha

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3. If those weren’t enough, I then decided I needed to know Which Gilmore Girls Character Are You? I would be. I got Rory 🙂 Of course, I needed my mom to then take the quiz. She got….drum roll please….Lorelei.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/kirstenking/which-character-from-gilmore-girls-are-you#.eqMBbPVZ7

Valentine’s Day History: 

http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day/history-of-valentines-day

Movie/TV:

Movie List-Took me a while to track down a decent one! http://www.bhg.com/holidays/valentines-day/cards/romantic-movies-for-valentines-day/viewall/

Where Are Michelle Tanner’s Friends?- Bustle http://www.bustle.com/articles/136245-where-are-michelles-friends-from-full-house-today-theyre-all-grown-up-now

The Office- The Best Jim and Pam Episodes for Valentine’s Day- HerCampus http://www.hercampus.com/school/pitt/best-jim-and-pam-episodes-watch-valentine-s-day

This week I’m also in search of a new Easter/Springtime type wreath. Wish me luck!

Last night, I brought Marty heart-shaped pizza 🙂 and then I made chocolate chip angel food cake. The pizza seemed to be a hit. Thanks, Papa John’s!

-XOXO & Have a great day filled with love, maybe flowers and hopefully some chocolate 🙂

Sharing Sunday

The Loft Challenge #3 (by Our Misadventures)Image: http://artjournaling.tumblr.com/post/45451839848/the-loft-challenge-3-by-our-misadventures

I’ve been thinking about this list for quite some time but I’ve never actually sat down and written it. There has just been a running record of all of my fear foods in my brain that I scan through before I eat something. Today, I made this list in a note on my phone and I probably still left out some. So, here’s my Sharing Sunday:

Fear Food List:

  • Pizza
  • Breakfast tacos/burritos
  • Bacon
  • Peanut Butter (I usually eat Pb2 or Better n’ Peanut Butter)
  • Bread (sandwich, bagel, rolls, etc.)
  • Cheese
  • Juice drink (well, liquid calories)
  • Candy/chocolate (that’s not a York Patty or starburst)
  • French Fries
  • Butter
  • Pastries (pie, donuts, etc.)
  • Ice cream/cake
  • Hamburgers (not with extra lean beef)
  • Grilled Cheese
  • Baked Goods (brownies, cookies)
  • Pop Tarts (which I used to love. Especially the gingerbread, sugar cookie and brown sugar kind!)
  • Basically ANY fast food
  • Cinnamon Rolls
  • Yogurt with fat
  • Nuts
  • Salads with dressing
  • Starbucks
  • Things I don’t know the caloric content of
  • Pasta
  • Mexican food

Looking at this list is totally overwhelming. Totally intimidating. Are there any foods in the world that I do eat? Geez!! I mean do you know how long it’s been since I’ve eaten a grilled cheese? I literally don’t even know! But I’m seriously super petrified of EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of these foods. I’m scared of eat them and of what they might possibly even kind of do to my body. For the longest time-still currently-I’ve viewed food as negative. I view it as a chore and something that I have to do. It’s not enjoyable or fun! I don’t view food as nourishment and fuel as view it as evil and such a stupid thing that I need to survive. At my house, people sometimes joke that I’m the “air child” meaning that I can sustain life by consuming merely air. I SO wish!! Wouldn’t that make my problems just disappear and be that much simpler?

However, viewing food in this manner isn’t correct. It’s a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad (see my Alexander and the Terrible Day joke???) way to live. It’s crippling and miserable at times and I always feeling negative thoughts about food, me and from Ed creeping around every corner. Every time I swallow, actually. Even in the safe foods!!

In order to take a step in recovery I’ve got to start down the path of repairing my very broken relationship with food. Ed as well as myself have associated negative feelings and thoughts with food for so many years that there is some major damage. It’s going to take time to repair my relationship with food. It’s going to take many baby steps and honestly, it’s probably going to be painful to eat some of these foods.

(I did eat pizza the other day though, y’all!! And I’m still walking around here.)

I’m not saying that I need to eat these foods immediately! It may take a few months to even try another one. I’m not saying that I’m going to eat these foods all the time either (but maybe once in a blue moon I can eat a donut or drink a Starbucks beverage without completely flipping out). In the end of all of this, I just want to come out stronger. I want to be able to live a “healthy” lifestyle. That means that most of the time I eat the foods that are good and nutritious for my body and then sometimes I indulge and eat that food that isn’t always so great for you. I have to learn that I don’t have to be 100% healthy and “on my game” constantly.

Image: fightthewhispers.tumblr.com/post/55658747516/peenutbutterprincess-a-guide-to-overcoming-your                                                                             fightthewhispers.tumblr.com/mystory

This is a journey of one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. 

Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day

Chocolate chip cookies anyone??? M wanted some chocolate chip cookies the other night, so yesterday when he went into town I made him get chocolate chips. It gave me a great opportunity to use my new measuring cups (which you can barely see there). It also gave me a good excuse to wear one of the cute aprons I own and bake because I LOVE baking 🙂 I’m not super positive that I’ll be partaking in a whole bunch of this cookie eating, but we shall see. I did eat a little tiny piece. But M is a bit of a cookie monster at times…not constantly though.

Enter a MAJOR fear food here. MAJOR. I’m currently slightly freaking out at the thought of having to eat it later for dinner. M kept seeing commercials for Pizza Hut (he’s also a rather big pizza fan.) So while I was in Angelo today I picked up some pizza for dinner. I’m continually reminding myself to breathe even while writing this post.

I got the veggie lovers pizza. Wayyyyy back in the day pepperoni was always my favorite, but as I grew older and learned more about food nutrition, overall health and my eating disorder began to slowly become more prominent, I switched to cheese. I absolutely love love love cheese pizza! Don’t let me misconstrue that to you AT ALL!!

However, it’s been at least 9 months if not even longer since I’ve eaten pizza that I didn’t physically make for myself at my house. I made it myself so that I knew exactly how many calories and what was in the pizza. So, I figured, if I was going to try this gigantic fear food I was going to have to start small and ease myself into it. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know!!! I personally don’t think that I can just throw myself into a cheese pizza and come out fully on top of that mountain. I think that this is about forming a new path, fighting the battle and eating some freakin pizza. This is about eating a small amount of a fear food, not consuming a whole entire pizza. This is about taking a small step. I say again, Rome was not built in a day.

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Yes, you do see 2 pizzas here. One is M’s. He likes meat lover’s pizza. I’ve had that kind before, I used to eat it sometimes when he first lived in Houston. I like that kind. It’s pretty darn good, because let’s face it, I’m a carnivore and not a full on vegetarian. However, like I stated above, I can’t just throw myself into a meat lover’s pizza and expect to come out alright. I need to start with something that I can feel like I can conquer and overcome. I don’t care if that’s not what the experts say, it’s what I’m comfortable with.

I’m doing what I need or at least what I think is going to be best for me and not leave me completely collapsed on the bathroom floor. I’m terrified. Very, seriously terrified. But I can do this. I can.

(Side Note: M has been very supportive today and I could not be more thankful for him especially on a day like today.)

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Here’s to pizza night!!!

Pizza & Heart Sunglasses

So, basically, this is just what I’ve been doing for the past few days. Not really a whole bunch, but in case you care 😉

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Saturday night I made homemade pizza (I didn’t make the crust this time.) This was my pizza (M would’ve thrown a fit if I made him eat my turkey pepperoni and “weird cheese” pizza.) FUN FACT: I actually neverrrrr put pepperoni on my pizza at home, but that day, I just sorta went for it. Pizza is a MAJOR fear food for me, so even when I eat it at home it’s kind of an epic thing. One day I’ll eat real pizza…one day.  I’m actually considering making a whole “fear foods” list. But we’ll see how that goes.

SUNDAY 🙂

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It just seemed like a good opportunity to take a selfie in my poncho, my Grandma’s owl whistle necklace and heart sunglasses (I ❤ these!!) The sun was shining and it just seemed perfect. And sometimes, you just have to take a selfie, right???

Then, I went for a run at my house. I was a little concerned that it was going to be too cool outside to run but M reassured me over and over that it was going to be fine. Actually, his exact words were “well are you going to be walking the whole time? Then, you’ll get warm. You’re running.” I’m such a baby with cold so I still wore this big long sleeved shirt.

While I was on this run at my house, (I run on our paved road so it’s pretty nice) I met these 2 dogs!! They have never joined me on a run before..haha. They were so random!! Thank goodness they were super sweet though!! And then other times, you just have to run with sheep, right?! Those sheep basically live with us because our house is just basically in a pasture and these sheep are constantly there. So anytime I run actually, I’m always running with some kind of animal. Getting my wildlife fix.

One of my goals in this journey is to try and eat actual dinner (lunch….now that’s a stretch and freaks me out.) But dinner seems doable because well, I’ve gotta fed my husband. On that note, tonight I’m going to try making this homemade macaroni. So, we’ll see how that turns out!!!

I’m going to try to K-Pow life and Ed this year (or at least make it quieter.) Get it? K-Pow???? 🙂

 

The Restricted List

I came to the realization last night that I probably haven’t eaten “real/solid” food since last Saturday. It’s been 5 days. That’s probably a really really terrible thing. Then, I realized why I hadn’t really eaten anything that wasn’t yogurt, a banana, an apple, pretzels, quest bars, or some kind of peanut butter…I’ve been afraid to. I’m afraid of eating a food that’s on the ‘restricted list’ because I’m afraid of the repercussions. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve actually seen it change something on me, I’m make believing something will happen or I’m just plain imagining each calorie going someplace on my body. I literally can’t tell you.

It's OK to not be OK!

I’ve been wanting to eat all sorts of things on the off limits list over the past few hours; you know, like donuts, some pizza, and really some macaroni and cheese!!! I just haven’t. I can’t bring myself to do it. I see other people doing it, and they seem fine. They even look fine. And I swear if someone tells me after reading this that I CAN eat all of those foods, I might punch them ( think it through. I don’t mean it rudely.) I just mean that you saying that to me, might anger me a little. I’m fully aware that I CAN eat those foods, it’s choosing to that’s difficult and then following through. I’m working on it, well, more like up to it.

Baked Vanilla Bean Doughnuts - these are so soft and moist and loaded with vanilla beans.When you become so afraid to eat food that’s on the ‘Restricted List’ are you really in a good place? I’m just so so very terrified. I live my life in fear. I found myself completely overcome and consumed last Saturday with the fact that nothing I ate was even close to being on the safe food list. I had cake, and well some other foods that I’m not sure the name of but they tasted good. In the moment and in the following couple of hours surrounded by people I was completely fine with it. Then came 6:00 P.M. when it was time for dinner and I literally found myself shaking, trying not to just completely fall apart and cry and trying not to snap at people because they really don’t deserve it. I realized then, but more now really that I should probably ease some off the beaten path foods into my everyday diet.

Which leads me to lunch today….I’m making my own pizza at home. I’m gonna do it and I’m going to enjoy it. It’s going to be okay.

Classic Pizza Margherita  Dough yields 4 pizzas serving 3 to 4 people total    1 recipe pizza dough (follow instructions here)  1 recipe tomato sauce  fresh mozzarella cheese  fresh basil leaves, sliced thinly after pizza is removed from oven

Also, I read this today, which seemed to help a little.

https://www.yahoo.com/style/getting-engaged-meant-facing-my-anorexia-again-124689801623.html