Tag Archives: running

Whoever Said Orange Was The New Pink Was Seriously Disturbed.

Fun Things:

Take a Peek at These Awe-Inspiring Photos of Fireflies– by Tehrene Firman via Good Housekeeping

Just an FYI —> So THIS Is Why It Takes Awhile For A Mom’s Baby Bump To Go Away– by Karen Belz via HelloGiggles

I hope one day (emphasis on the one day) to have a baby of my own and I’m already constantly reminding myself of this.

11 Things You Didn’t Know About ‘Legally Blonde’– by Lindsay Denninger via Bustle

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Health:

Why Your Ideal Weight Isn’t What You Think It Is– by S Life Magazine via PopSugar

“Ab Crack” Is The New “Thigh Gap” and It’s Just As Dangerous – by Sam Escobar via Good Housekeeping

Amanda Seyfried Talks To Elle UK About The Pressures To Stay Thin– by Chelsea White

Too Hot and Humid For a Run? Here’s How to Decide– by Dominique Astorino viai PopSugar

Well, I guess being in Texas I should never run.

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Link Love 6/12

Happy Sunday!!!! 🙂 I’m so excited for this week!! My Mom and I are going to Dallas later this week to do some shopping/visit the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum/just get away. 20160604_190421

Fun:

What Fashion Era Do You Belong In? by Kimia Madani via livingly.com

50’s Romance Era 🙂

This Is What the Perfect House Looks Like, According to Pinterest-by Angela Elias via Popsugar

Health/Body Image:

What Does Healthy Even Mean? – by Robyn via The Real Life RD

This was beautiful. It made my heart smile and feel good for a meager minute. I’m trying so, so, so very hard and even reading the same sentence of “loving and appreciating your body no matter what your pant size” is over and over again is how I find 5 minutes of comfort, I’m going to read those words every hour of ever day until it sinks in.

Side Stitch: What Causes it and How to Prevent It-by Lizzie Fuhr via PopSugar

This happens to me all too often.

26 People Share The Important Reasons They Stopped Dieting– by Sally Tamarkin via Buzzfeed

The Peanuts always make me smile, so here’s hoping they help you smile as well 🙂

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Fun Things Friday 4/8

It’s time for an edition of fun things Friday!! We all know Friday is pretty much the best day of the week so I like to celebrate with showing some “fun” things I’ve seen or done this week.

On Tuesday I went to Target to get the new Star Wars movie on DVD for Marty so naturally I did some browsing of my own. Usually at Target I really shouldn’t be permitted to shop without adult supervision, but don’t worry, I practiced more self control this time.

I was wandering around the home/bedding section and looking at all these super cute sheets, lamps and blankets. They ALL have themes now! Where were these when I was growing up?! Literally ONE TIME I had butterfly sheets and those had to be special ordered. Back in the day, I swear sheets only came in solid colors. Ahh, to be a kid in these modern times 🙂

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How cute are the strawberries and the ice cream cones?!

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These were just adorable. How sweet are these little critters and flamingos?

Also Target had these insulated water bottle things?? Not real sure what they are, but they were cute so….

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I also picked up a new sign for our front door. I don’t think that I will really use it until July, August and September which means I’m still on the hunt for the beginning summer months. Still though! I went running in an old spot that I used to run on Tuesday and I actually ended up doing something that I’ve been wanting to try. I ran a whole 4 miles! 4! Let that sink in. F O U R. How cool am I?!?! I’ve never done that. I’m so excited and proud of myself. Not that I want to run 4 miles all the time; I just wanted to see if I could do it.

Finally, we had this old bed that finally got done being re-stained. I picked it up on Wednesday and drum roll please…….VitaTops will rock your socks! They taste the magic.

Have a fabulous weekend! 🙂

Stress Baking & Pesto Obsession

Living in Texas, you must always be prepared for strange weather that changes at the drop of a hat! So, I decided that I needed to purchase some “pretty” running leggings. You can’t really tell there, but they were this pretty purple and black color. However, because I wasn’t thinking when I bought these I quickly learned (in an unfortunate way) that you should buy running leggings in the CORRECT size.

I bought mine a size bigger because I didn’t want to feel closed in. MAJOR WRONG MOVE. I went home that day and put them on and went for a run. The ENTIRE time I was running I kept having to stop and keep tugging at my pants to pull them off because they would start falling down!!!! Also during this run I got only my left shoe muddy. They are currently working on the road at my house.

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So while this run should’ve been a little relaxing it turned out to be super stressful and kind of awful. What do you do when you come home from a dumb run?! BAKE, of course!! I decided that I wanted to do some stress baking before dinner so I made brownies and then I made spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. Okay, I didn’t “make” the garlic bread 😉 Eating that garlic bread was a huge win for me because I’m pretty freaked out by eating bread. I think I still might be recovering in my head from eating that. Anyways, it was really tasty.

Now on to random things. I’ve always been into pesto…but not the nutrition it has. I searched Pinterest for a “healthier” version of pesto and found one on Oh She Glows http://ohsheglows.com/2011/08/04/high-protein-oil-free-basil-pesto/ and it is FANTASTIC!! So the other night I made a pesto chicken sandwich with Ezekiel bread. Making that pesto was probably the best decision I’ve made in a good while!!!! What else can I eat pesto with?

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Last random tidbit, I’ve been pretty into eating Twizzlers lately. I’m normally not into that type of food at all. I blame the impulse buy in the long line at the Lowe’s grocery store the other day. But they just have a strange appeal to me right now….I don’t know. But that’s that!

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Pizza & Heart Sunglasses

So, basically, this is just what I’ve been doing for the past few days. Not really a whole bunch, but in case you care 😉

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Saturday night I made homemade pizza (I didn’t make the crust this time.) This was my pizza (M would’ve thrown a fit if I made him eat my turkey pepperoni and “weird cheese” pizza.) FUN FACT: I actually neverrrrr put pepperoni on my pizza at home, but that day, I just sorta went for it. Pizza is a MAJOR fear food for me, so even when I eat it at home it’s kind of an epic thing. One day I’ll eat real pizza…one day.  I’m actually considering making a whole “fear foods” list. But we’ll see how that goes.

SUNDAY 🙂

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It just seemed like a good opportunity to take a selfie in my poncho, my Grandma’s owl whistle necklace and heart sunglasses (I ❤ these!!) The sun was shining and it just seemed perfect. And sometimes, you just have to take a selfie, right???

Then, I went for a run at my house. I was a little concerned that it was going to be too cool outside to run but M reassured me over and over that it was going to be fine. Actually, his exact words were “well are you going to be walking the whole time? Then, you’ll get warm. You’re running.” I’m such a baby with cold so I still wore this big long sleeved shirt.

While I was on this run at my house, (I run on our paved road so it’s pretty nice) I met these 2 dogs!! They have never joined me on a run before..haha. They were so random!! Thank goodness they were super sweet though!! And then other times, you just have to run with sheep, right?! Those sheep basically live with us because our house is just basically in a pasture and these sheep are constantly there. So anytime I run actually, I’m always running with some kind of animal. Getting my wildlife fix.

One of my goals in this journey is to try and eat actual dinner (lunch….now that’s a stretch and freaks me out.) But dinner seems doable because well, I’ve gotta fed my husband. On that note, tonight I’m going to try making this homemade macaroni. So, we’ll see how that turns out!!!

I’m going to try to K-Pow life and Ed this year (or at least make it quieter.) Get it? K-Pow???? 🙂

 

Like Razor Blade Pain

So, this is what I get, y’all. This is what I get for trying to be healthy and trying to get better. I get bruises that cover my entire knee on both my legs, cuts on my wrists, this bruise/scrape all down my right arm and then finally, a huge scrape/gash on my right knee. Needless to say, I’m unfortunately pretty dang clumsy. I mean, seriously, one second I was running along minding my own business, and the next second I was on the ground!! (I was running in a very public place by the way, so I’m sure somebody got a good laugh out of my fall.) This is like a major flashback from the summer of 2013.

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Normal people might consider this a bit of a blessing. It would give them a chance to recover, get back to normal with health, and just take an overall breather from their hectic/rigorous/time consuming workout. Wellllll, if only I could relate to that or say it was me. I didn’t fully finish my run today because I fell, and that’s been driving me absolutely nuts all day, not to mention I have to figure out a way to actually do workouts now. Because I’m totally positive actual running is completely out of the question seeing as how it’s kinda hard to walk. So now, I’m faced with another challenge to add to my plate. With my eating disorder, I’ve made working out a part of my daily routine. I have to do it and I usually don’t have a choice. Truthfully, I’m obsessed. Not on purpose though, don’t get confused there. Now I have to figure out some way to do it. I think I might go crazy if I can’t. I don’t see how bending my knee is going to be easy, but I’m so crazy….that I’m gonna try to find some way to do it. I feel like if I don’t, that leads to even more restricted eating, even more fear, and that ultimately leads to even more deteriorated mental health. I can’t do that! I can’t live like that! It’s not living. I’m already kind of maxed out on stress in that department. With the stress I’ve already created for myself in that department over the years, the extra stress from my upcoming nuptials, and anxiety from the student teaching adventure I’m about to embark on, I really don’t need this added on to it.

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That being said…I found this the other day——->
rain came pouring down

I feel like all the time that people don’t take me seriously or they don’t think I’m “sick” because I’m not skin and bones and I actually make myself eat some food (even though it may not be sufficient.) The truth is though….I am sick. Sometimes I think maybe sicker in some ways than I was before. Sometimes I think it’s worse than it was in 2013 or when I first went to therapy. I’m just not totally positive.

Sometimes I just feel like I’m screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody hears me.

But what are they even going to do anymore? I don’t really want to hear anyone say to me “just eat” or “it’s going to be okay”. I think maybe, I want them to feel it?

On a lighter note, just FYI, being clumsy and running don’t mix (haha) AND I’ll be doing my student teaching in 1st Grade 🙂

The Restricted List

I came to the realization last night that I probably haven’t eaten “real/solid” food since last Saturday. It’s been 5 days. That’s probably a really really terrible thing. Then, I realized why I hadn’t really eaten anything that wasn’t yogurt, a banana, an apple, pretzels, quest bars, or some kind of peanut butter…I’ve been afraid to. I’m afraid of eating a food that’s on the ‘restricted list’ because I’m afraid of the repercussions. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve actually seen it change something on me, I’m make believing something will happen or I’m just plain imagining each calorie going someplace on my body. I literally can’t tell you.

It's OK to not be OK!

I’ve been wanting to eat all sorts of things on the off limits list over the past few hours; you know, like donuts, some pizza, and really some macaroni and cheese!!! I just haven’t. I can’t bring myself to do it. I see other people doing it, and they seem fine. They even look fine. And I swear if someone tells me after reading this that I CAN eat all of those foods, I might punch them ( think it through. I don’t mean it rudely.) I just mean that you saying that to me, might anger me a little. I’m fully aware that I CAN eat those foods, it’s choosing to that’s difficult and then following through. I’m working on it, well, more like up to it.

Baked Vanilla Bean Doughnuts - these are so soft and moist and loaded with vanilla beans.When you become so afraid to eat food that’s on the ‘Restricted List’ are you really in a good place? I’m just so so very terrified. I live my life in fear. I found myself completely overcome and consumed last Saturday with the fact that nothing I ate was even close to being on the safe food list. I had cake, and well some other foods that I’m not sure the name of but they tasted good. In the moment and in the following couple of hours surrounded by people I was completely fine with it. Then came 6:00 P.M. when it was time for dinner and I literally found myself shaking, trying not to just completely fall apart and cry and trying not to snap at people because they really don’t deserve it. I realized then, but more now really that I should probably ease some off the beaten path foods into my everyday diet.

Which leads me to lunch today….I’m making my own pizza at home. I’m gonna do it and I’m going to enjoy it. It’s going to be okay.

Classic Pizza Margherita  Dough yields 4 pizzas serving 3 to 4 people total    1 recipe pizza dough (follow instructions here)  1 recipe tomato sauce  fresh mozzarella cheese  fresh basil leaves, sliced thinly after pizza is removed from oven

Also, I read this today, which seemed to help a little.

https://www.yahoo.com/style/getting-engaged-meant-facing-my-anorexia-again-124689801623.html

Sparkle Gold

Puff. Puff. Inhale. Exhale. Right foot. Left foot. Puff. Puff.

As I walked towards my car, breathing heavily, I began to realize what I just did. I ran two miles. As I reached out to pull the door handle on my car, I suddenly realized that what I just did, wasn’t fun at all. I realized that I actually, legitimately hate running. So why do I do it? Well, I think it has to do with two things. In my mind, I’m not good enough, so I think that running will make me better and keep me at a low weight (which seems to be the driving factor here.) The other reason is that I think people will look down upon me if I don’t do some type of workout.

It’s been another one of those weeks for me. Just blah. It was a little better than last week, at least I wasn’t trying to throw up my food or only eating yogurt for dinner. It’s just been a little stressful with midterms and things like that. Gotta love college. I did do something kind of exciting last night. I went to a tae kwon do class with one of my friends. It was actually really fun. I felt pretty empowered once the class was finished. I now realize why so many people choose this activity. It was a fairly good workout too.

Gold-Britt Nicole! :)

In the midst of my not so great week, I heard a song on the radio that made me feel pretty great. I needed to hear those words at that moment, and so, as I was listen to K-Love, I heard them. The song is called “Gold” by Britt Nicole. It just talks about how not everything people say about you is true, and that everyone is beautiful and is really worth more than gold.

I feel very inspired by this song every time I hear it. It keeps me believe that I can still be a beautiful person even if one person doesn’t think so. It’s not always about what others think. Sometimes, its the opinion of yourself that needs to change. I’ve never been the best with self confidence or self esteem and that song reminded me that I need those things. What other people think of me doesn’t determine my worth. If only I could actually believe that. That’s one part of my issues. I wish I could blame it on something else, however the fact of the matter is, it’s mostly my fault. If my self confidence wasn’t so low maybe I wouldn’t be as down about how I look.

Gold - Britt Nicole

But really, why do we need to tear each  other down? Why do we need to scrutinize other people’s bodies? Whether they are boys or girls, it just doesn’t make any sense to look at a person and try to pinpoint all their flaws. Why do you want another person to feel bad about themselves? Are you that insecure? I know that I personally do not like to feel bad about myself so I try my best not to look at other people’s flaws, but their good traits. I feel that’s a better use of my time and emotions.

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I could go on and on about this. But at the end of the day, the fact of the matter is that I don’t feel like people like the way I look or I don’t like the way I look. Sometimes, I think a girl just needs to hear the words that she looks nice, just the way she is.