Christmas Time Is Here

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Ah, Andy Williams (he’s apparently the first one to sing it.) Anyways, Christmas time 🙂

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source: http://www.prettydesigns.com/35-christmas-quotes-you-will-love/

I haven’t written in a very, very, very long time. Mainly because I have so much to do these days and I have all these adult responsibilities now. I feel so old…ha. Even when I do get a spare moment, I like to just sit, or clean something, watch TV, of trying to frantically finish this cross stitch chart I’m doing. Tonight though, I attended the Christmas pageant at my church. This is where all the kiddos in the church get up and act out/sing about the birth of Jesus. It’s the sweetest thing! I was sitting there listening to them and watching them and laughing at/enjoying all their little quirks which got me thinking about the students in my classroom that I’m with every single day. I was sitting there trying to soak it all it and I realized that…..this is what life is about. Life is about singing, rejoicing, talking, laughing, playing, and wondering. It’s not supposed to be difficult. You aren’t supposed to spend every minute trying to control and fix every little thing. It’s about freedom and enjoying yourself and life. I was sitting in a pew with all these thoughts swirling around and coming to me and filling my heart. Maybe it’s just the Christmas spirit coming into my heart and filling it to the brim. I’m choosing to think something else though. Maybe this is God stepping into my heart and filling it even more. I found myself listening to the lyrics of Joy To The World and thinking about how much joy I was feeling and how thankful I am about how far I have come since August.

Halloween

It’s been a long and rough 4ish months. I’m a new, first year teacher and things were TOUGH at the beginning. I found myself in tears so often and thinking I would never get the hang of anything and like I was going to have to find a different career path because this was NOT working. But I stuck it out, I dragged myself through it every day. It was hard. It was so freaking hard. But about a week ago when my students were writing letters to Santa (and telling me seamlessly unending stories about their Elf on a Shelf), I found myself reflecting on how we are almost to the end of the semester and how far I have come and how far the students in my room have come. This isn’t so bad anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like the cliffhanger at the end of a TV show each week. “Tune in next week to find out what happens on Mrs. Powell’s Corral. Will she get all her grading done? Will she be prepped and ready for next week? Will all the parents remember to pick up their children?” It’s been an interesting ride and quite the learning process so far and I can only imagine what the second semester will bring.

 

I’ve come quite far in a number of aspects in life.

(Fall Festival Day. Can you see my holiday leggings?! Yes, I did find quite a few Christmas pairs!)

That’s not to say that Ed hasn’t been here with me the last 4 months. Boy, has he. He’s there every day. But most days he has shut up a little more. He shows up every day at lunch to tell me that what I’m doing is dumb, but I’ve just gotta drown him out really. He’s there most afternoons telling me to go run my little heart out (Christmas videos and shows have been helpful entertainment lately). He’s still present. But I think he may be quieter. It’s been so hard to wrap my mind around how my body looks now. So hard. I don’t even know an expression that is great enough to explain how I feel. I’m trying to focus on the positive aspects of it and learn to accept myself.

Instead of trying to focus on the negative things I’m trying to hard to focus on the good: what’s positive, what brings me joy, what brings others joy, what makes me feel good. Like I said, maybe it’s all the Christmas décor in my house, the Christmas movies on TV, the thought of a break from school and all the Christmas crafts I’d like to do, but I’m trying to think of it as more of a healing process.

There is probably so much more I could say but I’m trying to frantically get these words out on the page before I completely lose what I have been thinking about for the past few hours. I hope you are well and are having a wonderful Christmas or Holiday Season 🙂

We start reading The Polar Express tomorrow!

 

This Classroom Runs on Love, Chocolate & Diet Coke

Let’s take a peek into my diary. Let me just out rightly say what I’ve been thinking over the past week and how I’ve been feeling about some things.

Last week I did my first official “big girl job”/teacher duty thing by attending a new teacher bootcamp workshop for 2 days. It wasn’t particularly interesting…or helpful really…but I did make me feel better because I had my class rules and behavior/expectations in order when many of the other teachers at the workshop did not. *Score 1 in that column for Mrs. Powell!* Maybe the only score I sometimes feel. Being a new teacher bring me so much stress and anxiety. I think some nights I sit on my living room couch and stress about the unknown or stress about stress. Usually, when I feel these types of feelings I try to distract myself by watching some TV show or something; lately it’s been Guilt, Pretty Little Liars, Little House on the Prairie, The Middle and my newest obsession, Scandal. Jeez, it sounds like I watch a bunch of TV!

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Watching these shows usually can take me into a different world so that I don’t have to pay attention to my own for just a little bit. It takes my mind off of the anxiety of being a new teacher, worrying if I’ll have time to workout, having anxiety of the catered/provided meals that will happen my first week of inservice, worrying if my students will like me, trying to figure out how to actually be a teacher and actually function as an adult. That doesn’t mean I don’t freak out in my head almost every hour.

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Last week, I was up in my classroom. I was alone at the school. Literally nobody else was in the building. It was just me. I sat there at my desk-which is at the back of the room-and stared at the little round empty tables with the little red chairs surrounding them. I remembered the blank canvas I’d been given and how with a little help I’d transformed it into a little ranch for my students to come and learn in. I knew I was in the right place but at the moment I just felt unsure of myself. Then, I realized, everybody feels this way. Everybody feels like they are going to fail the first time they try something new. I tried to tell myself though, there will hopefully always be people around willing to let me ask questions, willing to help me, and willing to let me make mistakes and learn. My student’s won’t know that I’m a first year teacher who hasn’t the slightly clue what I’m doing. They. Won’t. Know. They won’t care! As long as I try my best to help them grow and learn and show that I care about them, that’s all that will matter to their little minds.

As I am about to embark on this new journey and chapter into my life I’ve been giving myself this pep talk a lot. I’ve also been giving myself other “talks” about my food, eating and working out. I’ve been trying to drill in my brain that I don’t always have to workout for an hour or more. I even Googled this! It has yet to stick in my head but I have a feeling with work starting….it might soon. Which is frightening. I’ve also been trying to tell myself that I am more than my body. People don’t like me because I’m skinny and they won’t dislike me or maybe even notice if it changes. People like you for you and the kind of person you are.

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Now, I can write those words and say them all day long, but I have to get myself to believe it and get myself to believe that I can eat dinner and still be a person people like. I have to believe that I will still like myself if I eat dinner.

Last thing: this is pretty personal. I decided a couple of days ago that I needed to go out to a store and by myself some new….undergarments. I’m sick and tired of having the ones I do own make me feel bad. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. If I’m going to try and attempt this whole “like myself, maybe workout less and eat dinner thing” I don’t need another thing on my plate myself me feel bad about myself.

I think that my diary entry basically ends here…for I have run out of rambling thoughts.

I’ve also found a whole bunch of hilarious teacher ecards on Pinterest recently. Well, my lame sense of humor and I find them hilarious.

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Saddle Up For New Adventures

Let’s hope this ‘P’ on the outside of my classroom door makes the students want to come in and learn from me. Personally, I think I’m fun and friendly.

 

My Mom and I have been working so hard on getting this classroom ready for the upcoming school year. I’m so so super excited. I’m also very nervous. More nervous than I’ve ever been about anything! I think I’ve just got this huge fear of failure. I may be a bit of a perfectionist.

The school’s theme this year is ranch/western and for the student’s classroom jobs I decided to called them “Ranch Hand”. Is that not kind of adorable? I know, I know, I’m such a dorky teacher.

My Mom found these cute little cowboy and cowgirl clipart characters to put of the board I called “Top Hand”. We thought it would be a cute way to display student’s work in the classroom.

Shout out to my Grandma for giving me the “Little Critter” characters. They make the library area look even cuter! I’m also pretty proud of the fact that I called the lunch options “Daily Chow”. My husband completely rolled his eyes when I told him. He thinks I’m a cheeseball. 

This word wall will be the death of me. SO. SO. Many. Dang. Words. Plus the tape we have been working with is the worst! Seriously. We even bought 2 other rolls to try out. Apparently, we are terrible at picking tape! However, the gingham pattern I picked for the word wall is cute. I guess I needed to find a silver lining somewhere! 

My desk is still an absolute mess but that’s because I’m not fully finished putting everything in it’s rightful place. However, I did get to put some pictures on my desk just to make the room feel a little bit more like my home…you know, since I’m going to spend so many hours in that room.

Basically, I’m just really excited and while I like to have my room decorated cute, friendly and inviting I do believe that it’s not about the decor. It’s about being organized, prepared and having an environment where student’s can excel at learning 🙂

I’m about to go to my very first workshop/actual work function. This is about to become real, y’all.

Sometimes, I feel like it’s really easy for me to stress out and get major anxiety over starting work, balancing marriage and trying to fit in workouts. This past week I’ve been pretty on edge about it. Internally, I’ve pretty much been freaking the heck out about working out. I don’t know what the deal is. It’s still summer and I have time to do it. I don’t really know why, but I get to like 9:00 in the morning and I start to panic that my day is gone and I have no time to run or whatever. What’s my problem??? Pretty sure it’s 9:00 in the morning and there are at least 10 hours in the day. I have time! I don’t really know why my anxiety has been so built up and present this week but I’m trying my best to suppress it and make these negative feelings go away.

Fun Things Friday 7/15

Wednesday and Thursday I got to go visit the bright lights and the big city! The big city of Dallas, that is. Back a few months ago, I became really intrigued by George W. and Laura Bush. Mainly Laura, but I was interested in both of them so I figured out that there was a museum and library in Dallas on the SMU campus that you could go and visit. Soooo…I made my mom go with me. It was the coolest thing!!! I’m so glad we went. Walking through some of the exhibits I was just taken aback and tried to soak it all in.

Through George W. Bush’s presidency, I was just a child. I was in 2nd grade when 9/11 actually happened so I only kind of know what was happening at the time. Of course, over the years, I’ve since educated myself on the matter but it was interesting to be able to walk through the exhibit and watch some of the videos, speeches, and learn what the president was doing and saying during this time in the world. I was really excited to learn that when the attack occurred that President Bush was in a classroom reading to children.

But I also got to see prettier/lighter aspects over the course of the presidency such as state or inaugural dinner gowns. They were all SO pretty!!! I can only imagine getting to wear one of these lovely dresses.

After we visited the museum Wednesday we did some shopping around and then needed to find a Target. On our quest to find this…we stumbled upon THE strangest/fanciest McDonald’s I have ever seen in my life. Of course I needed to be ridiculous and take a picture.

Finally, in other news, I’ve been working on my classroom and thought I’d share a few pictures as well.

All in all, it was a really fun 2 day trip. We went to North Park Center and the Dallas Galleria and both of those malls are just like nothing I have ever experienced. Even with all of the walking and crazy, out of this world drivers I’m so glad we got to get out and explore for a couple of days.

Life This Past Week

Fun:

You Have to See This Boy’s Lost Stuffed Animal “Travel the World”– by Eleanor Sheehan via PopSugar

No seriously, you HAVE to see this! Plus elephants are just THE cutest!

Health:

So, your clothes no longer fit you. Now what?-By Sarah Vance via sarahvance.com

Don’t skip the Spaghetti! -By Ree Hines via Today

I seriously made spaghetti this same night after reading this.

Hunger Is Not The Enemy– by Amanda via The Real Life Recovery Diary

I feel this way all the time. I feel like I’m not supposed to be or feel hungry. Like I’m supposed to be able to control that and suppress that feeling on my own. It’s okay to feel hungry and BE hungry.

Things I Did This Week:

1. Helped a turtle across the highway. I turned my car all the way around to go aid this slow little fellow.
2. Found some interesting things in my classroom. Old Disney records anyone? I also did a whole bunch of laminating….ugh and yay at the same time.
3. Finally! I took my name plate and my mug my husband got me up to my classroom and set them on my desk 🙂 Not that I am done setting up in there quite yet.

 

Patriotic York Patties & Coke Zero Thoughts

Recovery is hard y’all. Getting to a “healthy” weight is hard. Hearing that “you look ‘healthy’ now” are very difficult words to swallow.

Today has been a pretty good/relaxing day. Happy 4^th of July 🙂 I spent my day going for a run, doing some cleaning up, doing some odd cleaning jobs and working on my Christmas cross stitch (welcome to Christmas in July haha). I just finished making dinner (hamburgers/cheeseburgers I was trying to make the All-American meal) and I was sitting here drinking my Coke Zero and patriotic York patties and decided I would write I guess.

I’ve been having a rough time lately. I don’t think anybody has really noticed but I haven’t exactly been trying to broadcast it either. I do find myself being able to eat dinner more often, however as long as I think it’s “good”, “safe”, “low calorie/low fat”. Nevertheless, I eat dinner more consistently. Lately though, I find myself with these thoughts of ‘I need to eat less tomorrow’, ‘maybe I should try skipping breakfast’ (HA. That one is super funny for me), ‘we need to work out harder’ (uh…I don’t know how I could go any harder. Crazy Ed!), or thoughts from that realm. They aren’t positive thoughts and they don’t bring goodness or happiness. They bring sorrow, fatigue, ache, rejection of myself, self-disappointment and fear. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life!

Honestly, my life is going pretty darn well right now. I just got the keys to my very first classroom last week and I get to clean it out and decorate it and really make it my school home. That’s so exciting for me. I need exciting and happy things in my life; I don’t need to be bogged down by what the heck I’m eating for lunch and worrying about if it’s going to make my students, co-workers, family, friends or husband like me less!! I’d love to be able to blame the restriction mentality on the fact that I just got my room and I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Seriously. I went to 3 ½ years of school for this degree and I feel so unprepared…hahaha. I’m sure lots of people feel this way though. I’ve been reassured that everyone feels the nerves, anxiety and fear when they start a new job. I read this article today (it was slightly on the dirty-ish side but not really). Anyways, it was about body image in the bedroom. It was a lengthy article but it was also helpful in more than one way. It was talking about ways to make you feel better about yourself and being proud of yourself. The author also talked about how your partner doesn’t solely love you for your body. Your family and friends don’t love you solely for your body. I didn’t get my first teaching job because I eat a bunch of yogurt, fruit and “healthy” foods. The author said to turn the situation around and think about if your spouse, friends or family looked a little differently would it have any effect on how much you love and care about them? NO! Heck no! Reading that article today did help me in its own strange way. Here’s the link if you actually want to read it Body Image In The Bedroom by Sarah Vance.

Right now, I’m trying so hard to not center my life around my freaking food and flipping workout schedule. Trying. So. Hard. There is really more to life than meal planning and doing the same workout routine right on schedule every day.

Basically, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Andddddd because I’m a dork and super-duper excited, here’s a picture of my classroom. Definitely the “before” shot!!!!!

Oh! Also my Grandma started painting this “P” for me a few weeks ago when I was down there and she mailed it to me this week. She’s super sweet and this turned out so cute! Looking forward to finding a place in my new room to hang it.

 

Road Trips and Thoughts

It was a mother/daughter mid-week trip! My Mom and I had a change of plans this past week. We were originally supposed to go to Dallas, but instead we went to visit my grandparents in Kingsville, TX.

While we were there, of course we have to eat at 2 local iconic places: Young’s Pizza (which has wayyyyy more than pizza) and Harrel’s Soda Fountain. Harrel’s is seriously one of THE cutest places I’ve ever been to. Every time we go see my grandparents we have to go there. Especially when we visit at Christmas because that’s when they have this extra special room filled with all sorts of exciting Christmas goodies. I also may or may not have acquired some more cute salt and pepper shakers from my grandma from that store……

Young’s Pizza: baked potato with grilled chicken and mushrooms!!

We also may or may not have done some shopping for “big girl” job type clothes. We were pretty darn successful 🙂 It was a fun and quick trip. We got to visit with my grandparents who I haven’t seen in a long time. I got my grandma to give me some classroom ideas because she was  teacher way back in the dark ages. She also started working on a classroom door sign that I wanted to make. I brought a wooden letter P for her to draw some school type things on there and write my name. I wanted to be able to hang it on my door when I finally get my classroom 🙂 She’s also a really great artist and I am most definitely not! Thankfully, she can help in that department. She hasn’t finished yet, but when she does I think she is supposed to mail it to me.

While this past week has been fun, don’t get me wrong I’ve had some major anxiety happening. I did get to run while I was on this trip but sometimes with me I feel like running isn’t enough. It’s not far enough, it’s not hard enough, it’s not ‘something’ enough. I don’t know what “enough” would be. I just feel like I’m constantly, always falling short of whatever I have imagined “enough” being. I don’t know how to shake that feeling or how to achieve “enough” . I feel like there is something wrong with me because of the fact that I keep feeling this way. I tried so very hard these past few days to keep eating “healthy” but it just seems like it wasn’t right and it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. I guess, what I’m trying to say with all of these words is that I just feel like it’s not good enough sometimes. Maybe I feel like I’m not quite good enough? How do you become “enough” ?

All in all, this week was fun and it was great just to get away for a few days. I am very glad to be back in my comfortable bed though with my husband and 2 dogs that were extra hyper when I got home last night! 🙂

 

Link Love: 6/5

I’m having fun at a wedding this weekend….but 🙂

Fun: 

Apparently I was going for a Disney theme this week? Not on purpose!

13 Ways Disney Princesses Make Great Role Models– by Hilary White via PopSugar ❤

Every Disney Fan Should Complete This Incredible Bucket List– by Brinton Parker

Health/Body:

Instagram Comparing Amy Schumer To Aphrodite Reminds Us Beauty Standards Aren’t Universal-by Suzannah Weiss via Refinery29

The Three Day Military Diet Is One Of The Worst Crash Diets Ever-Period– by K. Aleisha Fetters via Women’s Health Magazine

Being A Teacher:

28 Pictures That Will Make Teachers Laugh Harder Than They Should– by Dave Stopera via Buzzfeed

This were hilarious. Especially #15 and #19!!!!! I’ll never understand Microsoft Word.

In other news!!!

I did some fun ‘let’s kick of summer’ activities this past week. My mom and I ventured to San Antonio this week to randomly go to a teacher store. Thank goodness it wasn’t raining for about 2 hours. But don’t worry, it rained on the way home!

Anyways, we ate at this restaurant called Salata. It was literally a make your own salad place!!! Recently, I’ve been really getting into salads (for no other reason than the fact that I am odd) it turned out to be a success!

I also got my first piece of “official” teacher gear. I bought a calendar set and some boarder. Does this mean I have real teacher status now?

Oh, here’s some chocolate milk I impulsively bought at the store….lol. Please don’t judge my other groceries either.

I also found myself researching at home/personal laminators this week. I’m such an oddball.

Hope you have a wonderful week 🙂

 

Link Love 5/29

It’s already the end of May?!?!?!! WHAT?!?! How is it that as we age time flies so much quicker than it used to?

I feel like this week has been endless. Seriously. However, I did find out something exciting (well, exciting if you are a school dork like me). I found out our school-wide theme!!! RANCH! How super cute?!

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Quizzes/Fun:

What Kind Of Pancakes Are You? by Nathan W. Pyle via Buzzfeed

I got whole wheat oatmeal pancakes. That’s probably totally what I would eat, but I sound super lame and boring.

‘Girl Meets World’ New Opening Sequence– by Maddy Foley via Yahoo! and HelloGiggles

This is important!!

Here’s How the New Fruity Crisp and Blueberry Pie Oreos Really Taste– by Erin Cullum via PopSugar

Blueberry Pie and Fruity Crisp??? Like Fruity Pebbles? Kay then…….

I’m not sure how I feel about the 15 different kinds of flavors of Oreos (or whatever the real number is). I feel like when I was a kid there was only one or two kinds. I also remember when they made the inside out Oreo and I thought it was SUCH a big deal.

Life/Love/Health:

16 Love Idioms From Around the World (Illustrated by Elly Walton)– by Bibi Deitz via Bustle

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Does Baking Help Mental Health? by JR Thorpe via Bustle

Some Things You Can’t Wake Up From– by Cayanne via HealthyEzSweetLife

This Is Why Some of Us Talk in Our Sleep– by Vicky Chandler via GoodHouseKeeping

In case you were just curious.

Also, you need to try this. Warning: it is kind of addicting. I was trying to think of all the names of people I know. Mine doesn’t work because my parents think it’s cool to name you obscure names, but it’s still cool!

Find Out What Your Name Would Be If You Were Born Today– by Chris Wilson via Time

 

Fun Things Friday 5/13

The 1950s called…they wanted to know if they could have their housewife back.

I wish!! There’s a time period I wished I lived in 🙂

This week while I was subbing the class I was in was reading Charlotte’s Web so I got to read them a few chapters. I forgot I liked that book! It was so cute and pretty great to re-live those moments with the kiddos.

Also in positive things this week….mail.

My birthday is next week so my Grandma mailed me a birthday present. Apparently my new obsession with salt and pepper shakers has been conveyed to her because she got me these 2 cute sets!!!!! The came from this old drugstore/old style restaurant where she lives that I love to go to.

Are the pigs not the cutest things you’ve seen?!?! They just made me smile. She also sent me her old George Foreman Grill!!! I’ve been wanting one of these! So, naturally, I already created a Pinterest board so I can make some new recipes. She did really good this year.

When I went to the local grocery store yesterday, the checker randomly gave me a rose. I don’t know why. I think all the women that went in there yesterday received them for some reason. It was nice though. Lastly, the world just needed to know how cute I think that it is when my Grandma mails me something. Ever since I got married, whenever she mails me something she always makes sure to write “Mrs.” and my first and last name. I don’t know if other people find that cute, but I think it’s super sweet and kind of adorable.

I’m kind of a dork and still over the moon about being married 🙂

For the most part, it’s been a pretty good week. There’s my random ramblings.