Road Trips and Thoughts

It was a mother/daughter mid-week trip! My Mom and I had a change of plans this past week. We were originally supposed to go to Dallas, but instead we went to visit my grandparents in Kingsville, TX.

While we were there, of course we have to eat at 2 local iconic places: Young’s Pizza (which has wayyyyy more than pizza) and Harrel’s Soda Fountain. Harrel’s is seriously one of THE cutest places I’ve ever been to. Every time we go see my grandparents we have to go there. Especially when we visit at Christmas because that’s when they have this extra special room filled with all sorts of exciting Christmas goodies. I also may or may not have acquired some more cute salt and pepper shakers from my grandma from that store……

Young’s Pizza: baked potato with grilled chicken and mushrooms!!

We also may or may not have done some shopping for “big girl” job type clothes. We were pretty darn successful 🙂 It was a fun and quick trip. We got to visit with my grandparents who I haven’t seen in a long time. I got my grandma to give me some classroom ideas because she was  teacher way back in the dark ages. She also started working on a classroom door sign that I wanted to make. I brought a wooden letter P for her to draw some school type things on there and write my name. I wanted to be able to hang it on my door when I finally get my classroom 🙂 She’s also a really great artist and I am most definitely not! Thankfully, she can help in that department. She hasn’t finished yet, but when she does I think she is supposed to mail it to me.

While this past week has been fun, don’t get me wrong I’ve had some major anxiety happening. I did get to run while I was on this trip but sometimes with me I feel like running isn’t enough. It’s not far enough, it’s not hard enough, it’s not ‘something’ enough. I don’t know what “enough” would be. I just feel like I’m constantly, always falling short of whatever I have imagined “enough” being. I don’t know how to shake that feeling or how to achieve “enough” . I feel like there is something wrong with me because of the fact that I keep feeling this way. I tried so very hard these past few days to keep eating “healthy” but it just seems like it wasn’t right and it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. I guess, what I’m trying to say with all of these words is that I just feel like it’s not good enough sometimes. Maybe I feel like I’m not quite good enough? How do you become “enough” ?

All in all, this week was fun and it was great just to get away for a few days. I am very glad to be back in my comfortable bed though with my husband and 2 dogs that were extra hyper when I got home last night! 🙂

 

Little Susie Homemaker

When I don’t have to go to work all day, I can be domestic. I’m kinda like Betty Crocker…if Betty wasn’t a baker. Whoever that would make me.

Baked potatoes (one regular and one sweet) and broccoli and chicken with cheese 🙂 Side note: sweet potatoes are one of THE best foods in my opinion. Plus, I actually ate dinner that was actual solid food that you have to chew. There’s a win in that department. My husband should be proud.

I have to brag on him for just a minute. Since he and I talked last week, every single day he has made sure to ask me what I ate for dinner if he didn’t see me consume it or make it. He’s been working at night this last week and this coming week because it’s hay baling time at the ranch. It’s been a big deal that he’s actually remembered that I should probably eat some solid foods and remembered to ask me. It’s sweet 🙂 It’s also very nice and comforting to know he cares about me that much and is trying to take care of me.

 There’s dinner!

Finally, I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again. Weather (especially Texas weather) is ridiculous! I checked my TimeHop this morning and 2 years ago I tweeted something about this same time of year.

I thought it was my birth month and I thought it was supposed to start becoming warmer! Not all rainy and fall weather like. You’ve just got to appreciate the springtime.

 

It Wasn’t ‘Justaburger’

If you live in or have ever been to Texas you know what this means. Or you could just read the cup..it’s clearly on there (lol).

WHATABURGER.

What a scary, scary place for me to eat. But I really really needed to. Like really. I needed to eat something that might add value and a little nutrition to my body. So, I pretty much up and did it. Milestone. I seriously can’t stress enough how big of a deal it is for me to have eaten at Whataburger and not order a salad.

I ordered the Whataburger Jr. The kid burger, I’m well aware. I also ate apples. Baby steps y’all. I don’t think I could’ve handled much more than that. (Of course, they gave me a burger with cheese on it at first. I’m not ready for that either.)

Sorry, but we have to talk about this kangaroo bag they gave me my food in!!!!! How freakin’ cute is that?! How could you not be just a little bit excited?

This is me trying new things and trying not to blow a gasket. This is me, documenting the fact that I ate a hamburger. I can’t remember the last time I did that. That was brave. That was fearless.

All day I was apprehensive and trying to decide if I was going to really do this. I did it. Let me just say, that hamburger was pretty dang delicious.

Sometimes that burger can be referred to as a ‘Justaburger’ at that restaurant. For me, this wasn’t ‘Justaburger’ this was me telling myself that I’m trying to learn to accept myself. This was me saying that my body deserves to be nourished. I deserve to eat. I deserve for my food to taste good. I deserve to enjoy it without feeling guilty.

I don’t have a whole lot of words on this. I feel like I can’t really say more than I have. I mean, I ate a hamburger and I didn’t gain 7 pounds over night and I’m still here and all the people that love me are still loving me. It’s apparently…..okay.

So, when I came home last night and my husband asked me what I did today-besides get his mother’s Mother’s Day gift- I said….”literally all I did today was shop and eat a hamburger.” That was what I did. As insignificant as that sounds I did a ton yesterday.

Fun Things Friday 4/8

It’s time for an edition of fun things Friday!! We all know Friday is pretty much the best day of the week so I like to celebrate with showing some “fun” things I’ve seen or done this week.

On Tuesday I went to Target to get the new Star Wars movie on DVD for Marty so naturally I did some browsing of my own. Usually at Target I really shouldn’t be permitted to shop without adult supervision, but don’t worry, I practiced more self control this time.

I was wandering around the home/bedding section and looking at all these super cute sheets, lamps and blankets. They ALL have themes now! Where were these when I was growing up?! Literally ONE TIME I had butterfly sheets and those had to be special ordered. Back in the day, I swear sheets only came in solid colors. Ahh, to be a kid in these modern times 🙂

How cute are the strawberries and the ice cream cones?!

These were just adorable. How sweet are these little critters and flamingos?

Also Target had these insulated water bottle things?? Not real sure what they are, but they were cute so….

I also picked up a new sign for our front door. I don’t think that I will really use it until July, August and September which means I’m still on the hunt for the beginning summer months. Still though! I went running in an old spot that I used to run on Tuesday and I actually ended up doing something that I’ve been wanting to try. I ran a whole 4 miles! 4! Let that sink in. F O U R. How cool am I?!?! I’ve never done that. I’m so excited and proud of myself. Not that I want to run 4 miles all the time; I just wanted to see if I could do it.

Finally, we had this old bed that finally got done being re-stained. I picked it up on Wednesday and drum roll please…….VitaTops will rock your socks! They taste the magic.

Have a fabulous weekend! 🙂

Fun Things Friday 3/18

Shopping is so fun 🙂 Especially on spring break. Mom and I ventured to San Antonio Wednesday morning to search out some good finds and fun. This is most of the things we got. Really, I’m most excited about the Snyder’s pretzels (lol) the plastic cups, the Laura Bush book (I’m really itching to read some biographies right now) and the Army green dress we found at Charming Charlie’s.

Did y’all know about Home Goods?! What a neat store! We only have a Marshall’s near were I live, so this was a new place. It’s pretty similar except Home Goods was kind of a Marshall’s on steroids. We got frames for my finished cross stitch patterns so I could hang them around the house and that random Calphon pan with a lid. I was IN NEED of a lid!!! I didn’t realize how many dishes required you to have a pan with a lid.

Also, as I stated previously, it was my first time going into a Whole Foods store. While on this venture, I found these soft pretzels!!!! So, yesterday morning, I baked them 🙂 Turns out they are pretty fantastic.

I also wanna mention this Esty shop before I go. VDazzled is a jewelry shop on Esty by Victoria Pedanou who is a Cancer Biology PhD student. She’s a grad student who creates jewelry in her spare time. Being a girl who loves stud earrings, I think these are spectacular! She does a few other types as well so go check her out 🙂

Image: https://www.etsy.com/listing/89500739/upgrade-to-sterling-silver-posts-for-any?ref=listing-shop-header-0

Side note: Esty is a lovely place.

Home Decor & Easter Cakes (TOL)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!! Don’t even think about pinching me.

I’m already Irish enough anyways.

It’s time for Amanda’s linkup over on Running With Spoons with Thinking Out Loud Thursday!!!

1. Nature’s Bakery. I grabbed these at the store the other day because I liked the Nature’s Bakery fig bars and these were chocolate. I love chocolate so I couldn’t pass them up! I’m pretty sure I’m made up of half chocolate or something like that……

Verdict: I thought they were super yummy and delicious, my mom did not share the same opinion. I think they kind of taste like a Little Debbie’s cosmic brownie (obviously they are NOT the same) but she says that they taste good, but they clearly aren’t the real deal.

2. Yesterday was shopping day in San Antonio with my Mommy 🙂 ❤ If you haven’t noticed, I hang out with my Mom a bunch. It’s my thing. Kinda similar to Gilmore Girls I guess. Anddddd the heart shaped sunglasses make their appearance 🙂

It was a day full of adventure. Which brings me to my next point…

3. This picture has been a depiction of how I feel 99.9% of my life lately.

Since yesterday I didn’t really have the time to be a slave to running a set amount of miles or climb on top of an elliptical, I have just cycling this through my brain on repeat. I have to remember that I don’t NOT deserve to eat simply because I didn’t train as hard or go as far a I usually do. I have to remember that my worth does not change daily and it certainly isn’t measured by how far I can run or how close I can push my body to it’s breaking point. It doesn’t matter if I ran 6 miles or I only walked 3.5 yesterday. It was still okay to eat. I think…………..

Image: http://fuckyeahfatvegans.tumblr.com/post/124159935513

4. Big cities are really the coolest sometimes. They have so much cool stuff that we don’t get to have in small town life!!!

I definitely notice that I’m beginning to change in life. I suppose that’s due to getting older, getting married and developing a more “grown up” style of life. The main way I noticed this was because when shopping yesterday I was basically forgoing all clothes browsing options and going straight home décor. I just want to decorate…like everything!

We went into a World Market for only the second time in my life and it was awesome! We so need one of these were I live. I didn’t get anything super interesting but I did get some more acrylic cups. We got some cups like that for Christmas and M uses them constantly so I’m always running the dishwasher. It seemed like a smart purchase.

5. WHOLE FOODS. It’s overwhelming and magical all at the same time! It was the first time I’d ever set foot in one. We weren’t even in the door yet and I was already in love with the place because they had my favorite flowers outside: tulips ❤

We got some interesting food items. Most importantly these Immaculate Baking Soft Pretzels!! I’m going to workout this morning and then bake them. I’m so excited because pretzels-no matter the kind- are some of my favorite things to eat.

6. Lastly, at Whole Foods…LOOK AT THESE CAKES!!

Easter cakes are simply THE cutest! Check out the adorable bunny that is just too cute to eat and then the sweet lamb behind it. Easter is a holiday to me that isn’t really fun unless you have a kid or are a kid but the décor is just too precious!! There I go again with the home décor!

Random side note: I also updated my About Me page!

I hope you have a wonderful day and a fantastic rest of the week!!! 🙂 Thanks for letting me think out loud.

Chicken Parm Victory & Disney

I seriously think that sometimes I should write a book about how to simultaneously be 4, 21 and 65 all at the same time. This past weekend was pretty rainy, so I was passing the time indoors on Friday night. I watched some very old episodes of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and worked on my deer in love cross stitch (which I finally finished!!!!) I was so over the moon with the Winnie the Pooh episodes. Literally it was probably my favorite show as a kid. It was so darn cute!! I might be a HUGE dork. Don’t judge.

On Saturday, my husband and I had a “date night” of sorts. I don’t really buy into the whole “date night” thing, but I guess that’s what you would call this. I somehow or another convinced him to watch Zootopia!!!!! He’s the best 🙂 I was very thankful for this because I didn’t really want to watch Deadpool. Zootopia was adorable.It’s the best Disney movie I’ve seen in a while. You should go watch it. Like right now. 

And finally….drum roll, please. I made a version of Parmesan chicken last night.

Clearly, mine is the one with vegetables on the plate. Anyways, it turned out really well and it was so easy. It was just chicken, tomato sauce and some cheese. So simple  and a quick meal that pretty much anyone can handle it. I was looking up recipes on Campbell’s site and came across the recipe on accident. I’m so glad I did though. I think it was even a winner with Marty.

I’m just proud of myself for eating it really. I’m trying to take things one day at a time. There are some days where I have anxiety over food the next day, which is an awful feeling. Then you just have to remember to take things one step at a time.

Enough random rambling…lol. There’s a glimpse into my life currently. This week is pretty much about relaxing and enjoying the few days of warm weather on this spring break while it lasts.

Finding Equilibrium

I hope that nobody ever said recovery was easy. It certainly isn’t. Not that I previous thought it was….but literally, this is a daily thing that I have to get up and decide. Some days I find myself mad at the world, at myself and at others. Some days I find myself to just be kind of sad and gloomy (which is more of today. Plus, the weather seems to be mimicking me). Every day I have to get up out of bed and decide that I want to recover. The want is a hard concept. Some days I just flat out don’t!!!! I think that my life sometimes is just living from meal to meal and trying to decide it’s outcome on me. I don’t want that for the rest of my life. That’s when I try my hardest to remember the want. There are sometimes where I don’t feel like I’m doing enough or that I’m enough. At that point, I think to myself that some days are just going to be harder than others. Not everything is perfect! And there are some days where if all I do is get up out of bed, that’s probably a victory in some way.

Boggle the Owl poses a wonderful question that I need to ask myself, and probably everyone could apply this to themselves at one point or another.

Image Source: http://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/post/62711162750

 

I was doing a bunch of substituting last week and I would come home at the end of the day and need to go run or workout. As I would sit on the couch and try to find the will power to put on my socks and tennis shoes and thinking about how I needed to make dinner and run the vacuum for a minute, I kept asking myself, ‘How do actual working people come home every day and do this? They work all day and they are tired, then they’ve got to come home and eat/make dinner/clean something and all they really want to do is sit down for a second and watch TV. Who wants to go to the gym/workout at home/who has the time?!’ Just who the hell wants to do that?!

I’ve read it before that life is all about balance. So I guess, that’s how they do it: BALANCE. That’s a part I’m still struggling with. It’s hard to have or even fathom balance when it hasn’t existed in your life for such a long period  of time. Right now, the journey is about finding a new balance, a new equilibrium.

Speaking of balance…………here’s a look into my Sunday adventures. I went to church that morning and my mom was asking if I wanted a donut before church. Nope, no way, no how. NOT ready for that one. However, I did request 1 donut hole.

I was also trying really, really hard to make spring happen. It wasn’t going to happen. It was misty and just plain gross outside. I was just totally determined to wear this skirt, dang it!!!

In the afternoon I made my mom and one of my best friends watch Snoopy, Come Home with me-that’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back. My mom did also happen to have some cherry limeaide Jack Daniel’s….and I happen to be a fan of pretty much anything cherry limeaide flavor, so there’s that.

Thinking Out Loud #2

Three words. Lean cuisine pizza. 

1. It’s been a very, very, very long time since I’ve have the courage to eat a microwave pizza. Microwave anything, probably. This pizza has been living in my freezer for weeks. Weeks I tell you! I’ve been trying to work up to this thing for what feels like forever now. Not that it’s really that bad for you, but my mind and Ed have me convinced that it is. All day long yesterday I worked and worked myself up to this. I spent the day coaching myself, telling myself that I did deserve food and that it would be all A-Ok! All. Day. Long.

Now, let me just say, that this IS NOT now my favorite flavor. I’ve never tried it…but I chose it for reasons that don’t need to be listed. However, it wasn’t totally disgusting, it was fairly tasty and I would probably purchase it again. My all time favorite is the four cheese 🙂

Victory in pizza and Ed land here.

2. I’ve decided I’m thinking out loud with quotes. This just spoke to me. It also made me chuckle pretty hard. I’m not  going to elaborate on this quote, it pretty much speaks for itself. Just let it sink in.

Barbara Spanjers- Cake Is Magical Wellness barbaraspanjers.com

3. This quote also made me laugh…the green juice. I’m sorry, I actually like the color green but I also feel pretty uncomfortable about drinking it. But this is SO dang true! It doesn’t matter how much yogurt, fruits or how many vegetables I consume, if I’m still freaking out about even *thinking* about eating a York Patty or some other kind of dessert, that’s not mentally healthy or stable! Normal people and intuitive eating don’t work like that. Peace with food doesn’t mean that I constantly have to figure out how to rid my body of calories, think about how they are going to affect me or how I can suppress my random hunger during the day. That’s not normal and that’s not peace, girl, that’s still pretty hell-ish.

Jennifer Rollin and http://www.karenmeier.com

4. On a happy note, we all know that I’m a 6 year old trapped in a 21 year old body with the hobbies of a 60 year old woman…and I’m kind of obsessed with Charlie Brown, Snoopy and The Peanuts. I came across with while searching it on Pinterest……..

How dang cute is this?!?!?! Doesn’t your heart just melt?!!!! Also, if Beagles actually resembled Snoopy in the slightest, I would definitely, positively own one. Too bad they don’t 😦

http://notesandsigns.blogspot.com/

I now need to find this on a DVD so I can watch it over and over.

That’s my random rambling for my Thinking Out Loud Thursday.

Thinking Out Loud brought to you by Amanda with Running With Spoons http://www.runningwithspoons.com

 

Move Over, KFC!

Move over KFC and Whataburger, my chicken strips could be coming for you! Totally kidding, not even kind of close, but still good. My homemade chicken strips adventure was a success!!! I used a recipe from Skinny Ms that was really for chicken nuggets but I was too lazy to cut up chicken so I just bought tenders. These were super easy to make though! http://skinnyms.com/skinny-chicken-nuggets

The “before”

The “after”. They really don’t look much different do they?

Of course, I had to make my sweet potato fries because I’m completely obsessed with sweet potatoes!! Anyone else have a love for sweet potatoes? All in all, I’m very proud of myself for this 🙂

Wednesday Reads

Demolishing The “Fat Makes You Fat” Myth- Paleo Leap http://paleoleap.com/demolishing-fat-makes-fat-myth/

Part of what started my eating disorder initially was the fact that I am scared, no terrified, complete petrified of “fat” in my food. When I read nutrition facts, I go straight to the “fat” content. So when I’ve been at my lowest points, I’ve basically been eating no fat. When I met with the nutritionist she reassured me that a body does need fat from foods and it’s NOT all bad!!!! You need grams of fat in your diet! This has been a huge roadblock and hurdle for me to tackle because I’m so used to not eating it, avoiding it or feeling guilty about consuming it. I decided maybe I needed to read it from an article that “fat” wasn’t bad, so there is the article I read and keeps the majority of my anxiety over this at bay (there is still a TON).

New Campaign Reveals The Truth About Beauty- Kelsey Miller; Refinery 29; Project Heal http://www.refinery29.com/2016/02/103609/eating-disorders-awareness-week-project-heal#slide

This is eating disorder awareness week as most of you know and I just thought this article from Project Heal was spectacular.  I encourage you to think about yourself when it talks about the hashtags #WhatMakesMeBeautiful. What makes you beautiful? You can’t be wrong!!!! It’s your own opinion of yourself and how you feel about Y-O-U. I love what all of the women in the slideshow had to say about themselves, it was uplifting to see that loving yourself and liking parts of yourself isn’t frowned upon, but in fact encouraged! I am challenging myself with this same question of what makes me beautiful.

Question: Does anybody know what Pixar’s movie The Good Dinosaur is about? Hahahaha…I’m a 21 year old child.