I saw a posts this week circling around the web and I watched it on the Today Show that Cheerios is coming out with Pumpkin Spice flavored Cheerios. With this week I’ve been having and all the longing for fall I’ve been doing, this is almost music to my ears. As much as I think there are way too many pumpkin spice things in the world, I still can’t resist! 🙂
This will make your life. They are just great! I feel every one of these every time I work out.
I can’t believe that I’m about to become a functional adult in society. I start my first day of work on Wednesday. There aren’t any students there yet but I still have to start doing all the behind the scenes teacher work. I’m pretty super freaking nervous/worried/slightly excited. Surely everything will turn out alright? Wish me luck! This is the beginning of a whole new adventure.
What did I do my last week before I become an officially employed person? I watched way too much Scandal, made cinnamon bread and wished it was fall instead of summer! That’s normal, right???
I’m such a boring person……
I’d be lying if I said Hobby Lobby wasn’t one of my “happy places”. It definitely is. I love that place. I’m kind of been wishing it was fall these past couple of days and Hobby Lobby didn’t help. Although, I kind of brought the yearning for fall upon myself. I made cinnamon bread the other night and I put a scent in our bathroom wallflower from Bath & Body Works that smells like ‘warm apple pie’. It’s magnificent though! No regrets there!
I had to visit Hobby Lobby to get some new thread for my new cross stitch project. I swear, I don’t know how I don’t have every color. And since they always put out holiday things way too far ahead I got to explore Thanksgiving and Christmas 🙂
I am totally convinced that I’m going to need this little turkey door sign when it actually gets closer to fall. How could you not find him totally adorable?!
I did practice some self control yesterday…because I kind of have a thing for Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang. They did have some Charlie Brown Christmas theme decor.
I feel like they are nutcrackers but I’m not positive. How cute though!!!!
Finally, if you like classic Christmas animation, I think you might like these cuties.
Rudolph and Clarice!!
If I had a child I would be all over these. I just think they would need them. When I was a kid I had to settle for a Rudolph stuffed animal that only kind of looked like him. Jealous.
I think I just had a little too much fun yesterday exploring Hobby Lobby.
Let’s take a peek into my diary. Let me just out rightly say what I’ve been thinking over the past week and how I’ve been feeling about some things.
Last week I did my first official “big girl job”/teacher duty thing by attending a new teacher bootcamp workshop for 2 days. It wasn’t particularly interesting…or helpful really…but I did make me feel better because I had my class rules and behavior/expectations in order when many of the other teachers at the workshop did not. *Score 1 in that column for Mrs. Powell!* Maybe the only score I sometimes feel. Being a new teacher bring me so much stress and anxiety. I think some nights I sit on my living room couch and stress about the unknown or stress about stress. Usually, when I feel these types of feelings I try to distract myself by watching some TV show or something; lately it’s been Guilt, Pretty Little Liars, Little House on the Prairie, The Middle and my newest obsession, Scandal. Jeez, it sounds like I watch a bunch of TV!
Watching these shows usually can take me into a different world so that I don’t have to pay attention to my own for just a little bit. It takes my mind off of the anxiety of being a new teacher, worrying if I’ll have time to workout, having anxiety of the catered/provided meals that will happen my first week of inservice, worrying if my students will like me, trying to figure out how to actually be a teacher and actually function as an adult. That doesn’t mean I don’t freak out in my head almost every hour.
Last week, I was up in my classroom. I was alone at the school. Literally nobody else was in the building. It was just me. I sat there at my desk-which is at the back of the room-and stared at the little round empty tables with the little red chairs surrounding them. I remembered the blank canvas I’d been given and how with a little help I’d transformed it into a little ranch for my students to come and learn in. I knew I was in the right place but at the moment I just felt unsure of myself. Then, I realized, everybody feels this way. Everybody feels like they are going to fail the first time they try something new. I tried to tell myself though, there will hopefully always be people around willing to let me ask questions, willing to help me, and willing to let me make mistakes and learn. My student’s won’t know that I’m a first year teacher who hasn’t the slightly clue what I’m doing. They. Won’t. Know. They won’t care! As long as I try my best to help them grow and learn and show that I care about them, that’s all that will matter to their little minds.
As I am about to embark on this new journey and chapter into my life I’ve been giving myself this pep talk a lot. I’ve also been giving myself other “talks” about my food, eating and working out. I’ve been trying to drill in my brain that I don’t always have to workout for an hour or more. I even Googled this! It has yet to stick in my head but I have a feeling with work starting….it might soon. Which is frightening. I’ve also been trying to tell myself that I am more than my body. People don’t like me because I’m skinny and they won’t dislike me or maybe even notice if it changes. People like you for you and the kind of person you are.
Now, I can write those words and say them all day long, but I have to get myself to believe it and get myself to believe that I can eat dinner and still be a person people like. I have to believe that I will still like myself if I eat dinner.
Last thing: this is pretty personal. I decided a couple of days ago that I needed to go out to a store and by myself some new….undergarments. I’m sick and tired of having the ones I do own make me feel bad. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. If I’m going to try and attempt this whole “like myself, maybe workout less and eat dinner thing” I don’t need another thing on my plate myself me feel bad about myself.
I think that my diary entry basically ends here…for I have run out of rambling thoughts.
I’ve also found a whole bunch of hilarious teacher ecards on Pinterest recently. Well, my lame sense of humor and I find them hilarious.
Y’all. You need these Hillshire Farm Turkey Lit’L Smokies in your life. I didn’t know what I was missing. I bought them on impulse yesterday while I was looking for hotdogs for M. Don’t anyone tell me if they are healthy or not because I seriously don’t care.
New Favorite Obsession:
Scandal. I’m having withdrawals. I started watching it on my parents’ Netflix account but I can’t use Netflix at my house. I’m currently very impatiently waiting for the rest of season 1 and season 2 to arrive in the mail. I’ve been majorly sucked into Shonda Rhimes’ shows.
Let’s hope this ‘P’ on the outside of my classroom door makes the students want to come in and learn from me. Personally, I think I’m fun and friendly.
My Mom and I have been working so hard on getting this classroom ready for the upcoming school year. I’m so so super excited. I’m also very nervous. More nervous than I’ve ever been about anything! I think I’ve just got this huge fear of failure. I may be a bit of a perfectionist.
The school’s theme this year is ranch/western and for the student’s classroom jobs I decided to called them “Ranch Hand”. Is that not kind of adorable? I know, I know, I’m such a dorky teacher.
My Mom found these cute little cowboy and cowgirl clipart characters to put of the board I called “Top Hand”. We thought it would be a cute way to display student’s work in the classroom.
Shout out to my Grandma for giving me the “Little Critter” characters. They make the library area look even cuter! I’m also pretty proud of the fact that I called the lunch options “Daily Chow”. My husband completely rolled his eyes when I told him. He thinks I’m a cheeseball.
This word wall will be the death of me. SO. SO. Many. Dang. Words. Plus the tape we have been working with is the worst! Seriously. We even bought 2 other rolls to try out. Apparently, we are terrible at picking tape! However, the gingham pattern I picked for the word wall is cute. I guess I needed to find a silver lining somewhere!
My desk is still an absolute mess but that’s because I’m not fully finished putting everything in it’s rightful place. However, I did get to put some pictures on my desk just to make the room feel a little bit more like my home…you know, since I’m going to spend so many hours in that room.
Basically, I’m just really excited and while I like to have my room decorated cute, friendly and inviting I do believe that it’s not about the decor. It’s about being organized, prepared and having an environment where student’s can excel at learning 🙂
I’m about to go to my very first workshop/actual work function. This is about to become real, y’all.
Sometimes, I feel like it’s really easy for me to stress out and get major anxiety over starting work, balancing marriage and trying to fit in workouts. This past week I’ve been pretty on edge about it. Internally, I’ve pretty much been freaking the heck out about working out. I don’t know what the deal is. It’s still summer and I have time to do it. I don’t really know why, but I get to like 9:00 in the morning and I start to panic that my day is gone and I have no time to run or whatever. What’s my problem??? Pretty sure it’s 9:00 in the morning and there are at least 10 hours in the day. I have time! I don’t really know why my anxiety has been so built up and present this week but I’m trying my best to suppress it and make these negative feelings go away.
Y’all. I’m pretty much obsessed/fascinated with all things Olympic gymnastics and I have been ever since I was a kid. I remember dancing and twirling around my living room trying to do gymnastics. Emphasis on the trying part. I’m so excited to watch again this year!!
It’s been a rough week y’all. I’ve been doing a lot of trying to find good articles to read to try to push me through to the next day. Thank goodness there are so many wonderful, helpful and insightful writers/bloggers out there 🙂
I feel this way all the time. I feel like I’m not supposed to be or feel hungry. Like I’m supposed to be able to control that and suppress that feeling on my own. It’s okay to feel hungry and BE hungry.
Things I Did This Week:
Helped a turtle across the highway. I turned my car all the way around to go aid this slow little fellow.
Found some interesting things in my classroom. Old Disney records anyone? I also did a whole bunch of laminating….ugh and yay at the same time.
Finally! I took my name plate and my mug my husband got me up to my classroom and set them on my desk 🙂 Not that I am done setting up in there quite yet.
Recovery is hard y’all. Getting to a “healthy” weight is hard. Hearing that “you look ‘healthy’ now” are very difficult words to swallow.
Today has been a pretty good/relaxing day. Happy 4th of July 🙂 I spent my day going for a run, doing some cleaning up, doing some odd cleaning jobs and working on my Christmas cross stitch (welcome to Christmas in July haha). I just finished making dinner (hamburgers/cheeseburgers I was trying to make the All-American meal) and I was sitting here drinking my Coke Zero and patriotic York patties and decided I would write I guess.
I’ve been having a rough time lately. I don’t think anybody has really noticed but I haven’t exactly been trying to broadcast it either. I do find myself being able to eat dinner more often, however as long as I think it’s “good”, “safe”, “low calorie/low fat”. Nevertheless, I eat dinner more consistently. Lately though, I find myself with these thoughts of ‘I need to eat less tomorrow’, ‘maybe I should try skipping breakfast’ (HA. That one is super funny for me), ‘we need to work out harder’ (uh…I don’t know how I could go any harder. Crazy Ed!), or thoughts from that realm. They aren’t positive thoughts and they don’t bring goodness or happiness. They bring sorrow, fatigue, ache, rejection of myself, self-disappointment and fear. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life!
Honestly, my life is going pretty darn well right now. I just got the keys to my very first classroom last week and I get to clean it out and decorate it and really make it my school home. That’s so exciting for me. I need exciting and happy things in my life; I don’t need to be bogged down by what the heck I’m eating for lunch and worrying about if it’s going to make my students, co-workers, family, friends or husband like me less!! I’d love to be able to blame the restriction mentality on the fact that I just got my room and I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Seriously. I went to 3 ½ years of school for this degree and I feel so unprepared…hahaha. I’m sure lots of people feel this way though. I’ve been reassured that everyone feels the nerves, anxiety and fear when they start a new job. I read this article today (it was slightly on the dirty-ish side but not really). Anyways, it was about body image in the bedroom. It was a lengthy article but it was also helpful in more than one way. It was talking about ways to make you feel better about yourself and being proud of yourself. The author also talked about how your partner doesn’t solely love you for your body. Your family and friends don’t love you solely for your body. I didn’t get my first teaching job because I eat a bunch of yogurt, fruit and “healthy” foods. The author said to turn the situation around and think about if your spouse, friends or family looked a little differently would it have any effect on how much you love and care about them? NO! Heck no! Reading that article today did help me in its own strange way. Here’s the link if you actually want to read it Body Image In The Bedroom by Sarah Vance.
Right now, I’m trying so hard to not center my life around my freaking food and flipping workout schedule. Trying. So. Hard. There is really more to life than meal planning and doing the same workout routine right on schedule every day.
Basically, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Andddddd because I’m a dork and super-duper excited, here’s a picture of my classroom. Definitely the “before” shot!!!!!
Oh! Also my Grandma started painting this “P” for me a few weeks ago when I was down there and she mailed it to me this week. She’s super sweet and this turned out so cute! Looking forward to finding a place in my new room to hang it.