Christmas Time Is Here

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Ah, Andy Williams (he’s apparently the first one to sing it.) Anyways, Christmas time 🙂

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source: http://www.prettydesigns.com/35-christmas-quotes-you-will-love/

I haven’t written in a very, very, very long time. Mainly because I have so much to do these days and I have all these adult responsibilities now. I feel so old…ha. Even when I do get a spare moment, I like to just sit, or clean something, watch TV, of trying to frantically finish this cross stitch chart I’m doing. Tonight though, I attended the Christmas pageant at my church. This is where all the kiddos in the church get up and act out/sing about the birth of Jesus. It’s the sweetest thing! I was sitting there listening to them and watching them and laughing at/enjoying all their little quirks which got me thinking about the students in my classroom that I’m with every single day. I was sitting there trying to soak it all it and I realized that…..this is what life is about. Life is about singing, rejoicing, talking, laughing, playing, and wondering. It’s not supposed to be difficult. You aren’t supposed to spend every minute trying to control and fix every little thing. It’s about freedom and enjoying yourself and life. I was sitting in a pew with all these thoughts swirling around and coming to me and filling my heart. Maybe it’s just the Christmas spirit coming into my heart and filling it to the brim. I’m choosing to think something else though. Maybe this is God stepping into my heart and filling it even more. I found myself listening to the lyrics of Joy To The World and thinking about how much joy I was feeling and how thankful I am about how far I have come since August.

Halloween

It’s been a long and rough 4ish months. I’m a new, first year teacher and things were TOUGH at the beginning. I found myself in tears so often and thinking I would never get the hang of anything and like I was going to have to find a different career path because this was NOT working. But I stuck it out, I dragged myself through it every day. It was hard. It was so freaking hard. But about a week ago when my students were writing letters to Santa (and telling me seamlessly unending stories about their Elf on a Shelf), I found myself reflecting on how we are almost to the end of the semester and how far I have come and how far the students in my room have come. This isn’t so bad anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like the cliffhanger at the end of a TV show each week. “Tune in next week to find out what happens on Mrs. Powell’s Corral. Will she get all her grading done? Will she be prepped and ready for next week? Will all the parents remember to pick up their children?” It’s been an interesting ride and quite the learning process so far and I can only imagine what the second semester will bring.

 

I’ve come quite far in a number of aspects in life.

(Fall Festival Day. Can you see my holiday leggings?! Yes, I did find quite a few Christmas pairs!)

That’s not to say that Ed hasn’t been here with me the last 4 months. Boy, has he. He’s there every day. But most days he has shut up a little more. He shows up every day at lunch to tell me that what I’m doing is dumb, but I’ve just gotta drown him out really. He’s there most afternoons telling me to go run my little heart out (Christmas videos and shows have been helpful entertainment lately). He’s still present. But I think he may be quieter. It’s been so hard to wrap my mind around how my body looks now. So hard. I don’t even know an expression that is great enough to explain how I feel. I’m trying to focus on the positive aspects of it and learn to accept myself.

Instead of trying to focus on the negative things I’m trying to hard to focus on the good: what’s positive, what brings me joy, what brings others joy, what makes me feel good. Like I said, maybe it’s all the Christmas décor in my house, the Christmas movies on TV, the thought of a break from school and all the Christmas crafts I’d like to do, but I’m trying to think of it as more of a healing process.

There is probably so much more I could say but I’m trying to frantically get these words out on the page before I completely lose what I have been thinking about for the past few hours. I hope you are well and are having a wonderful Christmas or Holiday Season 🙂

We start reading The Polar Express tomorrow!

 

Link Love 8/7

Fun:

17 Retro School Supplies We Wish Were On Our Shopping List– by We Are Teachers via BuzzFeed

 

What Would Your “Friends” Storyline Be?– by ChelseaTot via BuzzFeed

YES! Sign me up!!!!

‘Lizzie McGuire’ Fans Will Love the Upcoming Show ‘Andi Mack’-by Alexis Rhiannon via Bustle

I saw a posts this week circling around the web and I watched it on the Today Show that Cheerios is coming out with Pumpkin Spice flavored Cheerios. With this week I’ve been having and all the longing for fall I’ve been doing, this is almost music to my ears. As much as I think there are way too many pumpkin spice things in the world, I still can’t resist! 🙂

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Health:

Dove’s Latest Campaign Wants You To Talk About What Athletes Do– by Trilby Beresford via Hello Giggles

What I Wish I Knew Before My Daughter Developed Anorexia– by A. Pawlowski via Today

Damn, Working Out Is Hard!– by Jenny Sugar via PopSugar

This will make your life. They are just great! I feel every one of these every time I work out.

I can’t believe that I’m about to become a functional adult in society. I start my first day of work on Wednesday. There aren’t any students there yet but I still have to start doing all the behind the scenes teacher work. I’m pretty super freaking nervous/worried/slightly excited. Surely everything will turn out alright? Wish me luck! This is the beginning of a whole new adventure.

 

Fun Friday 8/5

What did I do my last week before I become an officially employed person? I watched way too much Scandal, made cinnamon bread and wished it was fall instead of summer! That’s normal, right???

I’m such a boring person……

I’d be lying if I said Hobby Lobby wasn’t one of my “happy places”. It definitely is. I love that place. I’m kind of been wishing it was fall these past couple of days and Hobby Lobby didn’t help. Although, I kind of brought the yearning for fall upon myself. I made cinnamon bread the other night and I put a scent in our bathroom wallflower from Bath & Body Works that smells like ‘warm apple pie’. It’s magnificent though! No regrets there!

I had to visit Hobby Lobby to get some new thread for my new cross stitch project. I swear, I don’t know how I don’t have every color. And since they always put out holiday things way too far ahead I got to explore Thanksgiving and Christmas 🙂

I am totally convinced that I’m going to need this little turkey door sign when it actually gets closer to fall. How could you not find him totally adorable?!

I did practice some self control yesterday…because I kind of have a thing for Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang. They did have some Charlie Brown Christmas theme decor.

I feel like they are nutcrackers but I’m not positive. How cute though!!!!

Finally, if you like classic Christmas animation, I think you might like these cuties.

Rudolph and Clarice!! 

If I had a child I would be all over these. I just think they would need them. When I was a kid I had to settle for a Rudolph stuffed animal that only kind of looked like him. Jealous.

I think I just had a little too much fun yesterday exploring Hobby Lobby.

This Classroom Runs on Love, Chocolate & Diet Coke

Let’s take a peek into my diary. Let me just out rightly say what I’ve been thinking over the past week and how I’ve been feeling about some things.

Last week I did my first official “big girl job”/teacher duty thing by attending a new teacher bootcamp workshop for 2 days. It wasn’t particularly interesting…or helpful really…but I did make me feel better because I had my class rules and behavior/expectations in order when many of the other teachers at the workshop did not. *Score 1 in that column for Mrs. Powell!* Maybe the only score I sometimes feel. Being a new teacher bring me so much stress and anxiety. I think some nights I sit on my living room couch and stress about the unknown or stress about stress. Usually, when I feel these types of feelings I try to distract myself by watching some TV show or something; lately it’s been Guilt, Pretty Little Liars, Little House on the Prairie, The Middle and my newest obsession, Scandal. Jeez, it sounds like I watch a bunch of TV!

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Watching these shows usually can take me into a different world so that I don’t have to pay attention to my own for just a little bit. It takes my mind off of the anxiety of being a new teacher, worrying if I’ll have time to workout, having anxiety of the catered/provided meals that will happen my first week of inservice, worrying if my students will like me, trying to figure out how to actually be a teacher and actually function as an adult. That doesn’t mean I don’t freak out in my head almost every hour.

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Last week, I was up in my classroom. I was alone at the school. Literally nobody else was in the building. It was just me. I sat there at my desk-which is at the back of the room-and stared at the little round empty tables with the little red chairs surrounding them. I remembered the blank canvas I’d been given and how with a little help I’d transformed it into a little ranch for my students to come and learn in. I knew I was in the right place but at the moment I just felt unsure of myself. Then, I realized, everybody feels this way. Everybody feels like they are going to fail the first time they try something new. I tried to tell myself though, there will hopefully always be people around willing to let me ask questions, willing to help me, and willing to let me make mistakes and learn. My student’s won’t know that I’m a first year teacher who hasn’t the slightly clue what I’m doing. They. Won’t. Know. They won’t care! As long as I try my best to help them grow and learn and show that I care about them, that’s all that will matter to their little minds.

As I am about to embark on this new journey and chapter into my life I’ve been giving myself this pep talk a lot. I’ve also been giving myself other “talks” about my food, eating and working out. I’ve been trying to drill in my brain that I don’t always have to workout for an hour or more. I even Googled this! It has yet to stick in my head but I have a feeling with work starting….it might soon. Which is frightening. I’ve also been trying to tell myself that I am more than my body. People don’t like me because I’m skinny and they won’t dislike me or maybe even notice if it changes. People like you for you and the kind of person you are.

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Now, I can write those words and say them all day long, but I have to get myself to believe it and get myself to believe that I can eat dinner and still be a person people like. I have to believe that I will still like myself if I eat dinner.

Last thing: this is pretty personal. I decided a couple of days ago that I needed to go out to a store and by myself some new….undergarments. I’m sick and tired of having the ones I do own make me feel bad. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. If I’m going to try and attempt this whole “like myself, maybe workout less and eat dinner thing” I don’t need another thing on my plate myself me feel bad about myself.

I think that my diary entry basically ends here…for I have run out of rambling thoughts.

I’ve also found a whole bunch of hilarious teacher ecards on Pinterest recently. Well, my lame sense of humor and I find them hilarious.

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Saddle Up For New Adventures

Let’s hope this ‘P’ on the outside of my classroom door makes the students want to come in and learn from me. Personally, I think I’m fun and friendly.

 

My Mom and I have been working so hard on getting this classroom ready for the upcoming school year. I’m so so super excited. I’m also very nervous. More nervous than I’ve ever been about anything! I think I’ve just got this huge fear of failure. I may be a bit of a perfectionist.

The school’s theme this year is ranch/western and for the student’s classroom jobs I decided to called them “Ranch Hand”. Is that not kind of adorable? I know, I know, I’m such a dorky teacher.

My Mom found these cute little cowboy and cowgirl clipart characters to put of the board I called “Top Hand”. We thought it would be a cute way to display student’s work in the classroom.

Shout out to my Grandma for giving me the “Little Critter” characters. They make the library area look even cuter! I’m also pretty proud of the fact that I called the lunch options “Daily Chow”. My husband completely rolled his eyes when I told him. He thinks I’m a cheeseball. 

This word wall will be the death of me. SO. SO. Many. Dang. Words. Plus the tape we have been working with is the worst! Seriously. We even bought 2 other rolls to try out. Apparently, we are terrible at picking tape! However, the gingham pattern I picked for the word wall is cute. I guess I needed to find a silver lining somewhere! 

My desk is still an absolute mess but that’s because I’m not fully finished putting everything in it’s rightful place. However, I did get to put some pictures on my desk just to make the room feel a little bit more like my home…you know, since I’m going to spend so many hours in that room.

Basically, I’m just really excited and while I like to have my room decorated cute, friendly and inviting I do believe that it’s not about the decor. It’s about being organized, prepared and having an environment where student’s can excel at learning 🙂

I’m about to go to my very first workshop/actual work function. This is about to become real, y’all.

Sometimes, I feel like it’s really easy for me to stress out and get major anxiety over starting work, balancing marriage and trying to fit in workouts. This past week I’ve been pretty on edge about it. Internally, I’ve pretty much been freaking the heck out about working out. I don’t know what the deal is. It’s still summer and I have time to do it. I don’t really know why, but I get to like 9:00 in the morning and I start to panic that my day is gone and I have no time to run or whatever. What’s my problem??? Pretty sure it’s 9:00 in the morning and there are at least 10 hours in the day. I have time! I don’t really know why my anxiety has been so built up and present this week but I’m trying my best to suppress it and make these negative feelings go away.

Fun Things Friday 7/15

Wednesday and Thursday I got to go visit the bright lights and the big city! The big city of Dallas, that is. Back a few months ago, I became really intrigued by George W. and Laura Bush. Mainly Laura, but I was interested in both of them so I figured out that there was a museum and library in Dallas on the SMU campus that you could go and visit. Soooo…I made my mom go with me. It was the coolest thing!!! I’m so glad we went. Walking through some of the exhibits I was just taken aback and tried to soak it all in.

Through George W. Bush’s presidency, I was just a child. I was in 2nd grade when 9/11 actually happened so I only kind of know what was happening at the time. Of course, over the years, I’ve since educated myself on the matter but it was interesting to be able to walk through the exhibit and watch some of the videos, speeches, and learn what the president was doing and saying during this time in the world. I was really excited to learn that when the attack occurred that President Bush was in a classroom reading to children.

But I also got to see prettier/lighter aspects over the course of the presidency such as state or inaugural dinner gowns. They were all SO pretty!!! I can only imagine getting to wear one of these lovely dresses.

After we visited the museum Wednesday we did some shopping around and then needed to find a Target. On our quest to find this…we stumbled upon THE strangest/fanciest McDonald’s I have ever seen in my life. Of course I needed to be ridiculous and take a picture.

Finally, in other news, I’ve been working on my classroom and thought I’d share a few pictures as well.

All in all, it was a really fun 2 day trip. We went to North Park Center and the Dallas Galleria and both of those malls are just like nothing I have ever experienced. Even with all of the walking and crazy, out of this world drivers I’m so glad we got to get out and explore for a couple of days.

Life This Past Week

Fun:

You Have to See This Boy’s Lost Stuffed Animal “Travel the World”– by Eleanor Sheehan via PopSugar

No seriously, you HAVE to see this! Plus elephants are just THE cutest!

Health:

So, your clothes no longer fit you. Now what?-By Sarah Vance via sarahvance.com

Don’t skip the Spaghetti! -By Ree Hines via Today

I seriously made spaghetti this same night after reading this.

Hunger Is Not The Enemy– by Amanda via The Real Life Recovery Diary

I feel this way all the time. I feel like I’m not supposed to be or feel hungry. Like I’m supposed to be able to control that and suppress that feeling on my own. It’s okay to feel hungry and BE hungry.

Things I Did This Week:

1. Helped a turtle across the highway. I turned my car all the way around to go aid this slow little fellow.
2. Found some interesting things in my classroom. Old Disney records anyone? I also did a whole bunch of laminating….ugh and yay at the same time.
3. Finally! I took my name plate and my mug my husband got me up to my classroom and set them on my desk 🙂 Not that I am done setting up in there quite yet.

 

Patriotic York Patties & Coke Zero Thoughts

Recovery is hard y’all. Getting to a “healthy” weight is hard. Hearing that “you look ‘healthy’ now” are very difficult words to swallow.

Today has been a pretty good/relaxing day. Happy 4^th of July 🙂 I spent my day going for a run, doing some cleaning up, doing some odd cleaning jobs and working on my Christmas cross stitch (welcome to Christmas in July haha). I just finished making dinner (hamburgers/cheeseburgers I was trying to make the All-American meal) and I was sitting here drinking my Coke Zero and patriotic York patties and decided I would write I guess.

I’ve been having a rough time lately. I don’t think anybody has really noticed but I haven’t exactly been trying to broadcast it either. I do find myself being able to eat dinner more often, however as long as I think it’s “good”, “safe”, “low calorie/low fat”. Nevertheless, I eat dinner more consistently. Lately though, I find myself with these thoughts of ‘I need to eat less tomorrow’, ‘maybe I should try skipping breakfast’ (HA. That one is super funny for me), ‘we need to work out harder’ (uh…I don’t know how I could go any harder. Crazy Ed!), or thoughts from that realm. They aren’t positive thoughts and they don’t bring goodness or happiness. They bring sorrow, fatigue, ache, rejection of myself, self-disappointment and fear. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life!

Honestly, my life is going pretty darn well right now. I just got the keys to my very first classroom last week and I get to clean it out and decorate it and really make it my school home. That’s so exciting for me. I need exciting and happy things in my life; I don’t need to be bogged down by what the heck I’m eating for lunch and worrying about if it’s going to make my students, co-workers, family, friends or husband like me less!! I’d love to be able to blame the restriction mentality on the fact that I just got my room and I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Seriously. I went to 3 ½ years of school for this degree and I feel so unprepared…hahaha. I’m sure lots of people feel this way though. I’ve been reassured that everyone feels the nerves, anxiety and fear when they start a new job. I read this article today (it was slightly on the dirty-ish side but not really). Anyways, it was about body image in the bedroom. It was a lengthy article but it was also helpful in more than one way. It was talking about ways to make you feel better about yourself and being proud of yourself. The author also talked about how your partner doesn’t solely love you for your body. Your family and friends don’t love you solely for your body. I didn’t get my first teaching job because I eat a bunch of yogurt, fruit and “healthy” foods. The author said to turn the situation around and think about if your spouse, friends or family looked a little differently would it have any effect on how much you love and care about them? NO! Heck no! Reading that article today did help me in its own strange way. Here’s the link if you actually want to read it Body Image In The Bedroom by Sarah Vance.

Right now, I’m trying so hard to not center my life around my freaking food and flipping workout schedule. Trying. So. Hard. There is really more to life than meal planning and doing the same workout routine right on schedule every day.

Basically, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Andddddd because I’m a dork and super-duper excited, here’s a picture of my classroom. Definitely the “before” shot!!!!!

Oh! Also my Grandma started painting this “P” for me a few weeks ago when I was down there and she mailed it to me this week. She’s super sweet and this turned out so cute! Looking forward to finding a place in my new room to hang it.

 

Thinking Out Loud 6/22

Linking up with Amanda over on Running With Spoons for thinking out loud.

1. First things first! I finally finished my latest cross stitch pattern (don’t worry, I already ordered another. One could say I’m a bit obsessed.) The one I just finished was Alice in Wonderland themed. Personally, I think it’s super cute. It’s the biggest and most complex one I’ve completed so far. I’m awful proud of myself.

I ironed it all out after this picture. 

2. I thought Pretty Little Liars was kind of uneventful this week…for being the premiere and all. Honestly, I’m not that into the show anymore, mainly because I just can’t keep track of all the characters, all the crazy random things from seasons back that seem to suddenly matter and I just can’t remember all the wacky things that have occurred over the seasons. I just forget! Quite frankly, I’m pretty ready for this show to come to an end even though I’ve enjoyed it. I’m sticking with it though!! I didn’t watch for this many years not to see this thing through to the end!

3. On the other hand, Marty and I kept seeing all the previews for the new show called Guilt on Freeform. Basically, every time we saw it we would kind of poke fun at it but I was still just a bit interested. I ended up watching the show and I’ve got to say, I’m already kind of sucked into this show. I’m pretty excited to have a brand new show to watch. I WILL NOT be watching that new Dead of Summer show though. Just no.

4. I’ve started rereading the Little House series again by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I’ve always loved these books so I just thought they would be a good summer reading project. It will also be a good way to pass the time while I wait for my new cross stitch pattern to come in the mail. (I usually don’t order them.) Anyway, the books got me thinking that maybe I should start watching the show so now I’ve got the DVR recording them whenever they come on. I feel like such an old soul. But Laura Ingalls is just so cute!

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5. Finally, on Tuesday I got to watch Finding Dory! I went with one of my friends and that movie is just too cute for words! I really did enjoy watching it. I was a bit nervous about it because Dory wasn’t exactly one of my favorite characters from the original flick. I’m glad I got to see it though 🙂 Thanks discount Tuesdays at our local Cinemark!

You Are My Sunshine

It was a weekend filled with family, love, super scary food adventures and most importantly celebrating love 🙂

This past weekend my husband and I traveled to Marathon, Texas for a family wedding. There isn’t a whole lot in this town, however the hotel we stayed at was phenomenal and the views were just spectacular! It really was a highly enjoyable weekend and great to get away for just a few hours.

We stayed at The Gage Hotel which was also the location of the wedding. It was a beautiful venue! I don’t know how the bride found it but it was lovely.

We stayed in this old colonial style house (I think it said it was colonial. I can’t really remember all that well. Who cares, it was gorgeous.) with some other family members as we enjoyed the weekend.

Most of my time was filled with visiting with family members, getting to know them better or just spending time with my husband. On Saturday morning Marty and I walked from our room down to this super adorable restaurant to enjoy breakfast. We were the only ones there because we are both such early risers.

I did manage to get a run in that morning as well. Marathon is really small so I basically ran the entire town as my route. The first part of the run I was basically playing photographer instead of running. The view of the “mountains” was just too neat! Very pretty. Also, windmills. Windmills everywhere! I actually find windmills a nice view by themselves.

Throughout the whole weekend I tried my very hardest to keep the screaming ED thoughts at bay. This is so difficult when they are usually so prominent. I wanted to enjoy the mini vacation and time with my husband and family. This is difficult though when I’m eating foods that are just SO foreign and sometimes you don’t even know that they are. I’m terrified of food that I don’t know the caloric content of and so I was face to face with one of my biggest fears every meal every day we were there. I was faced with people asking how my food was, asking if I had eaten and I felt like were watching me. I’m just different when it comes to food. I just want to eat it and not discuss it. Other people, normal people, that don’t have eating issues, are probably able to enjoy food more easily and discuss among themselves. It just keeps me like a cat on a hot tin roof! I tried to keep myself from being too on edge about it. I really did.

I did make one discovery at lunch Saturday though! I ate part of M’s sandwich and I learned that I think I like rye bread. I need to go to HEB asap so check this stuff out!

Saturday evening was wedding time!!! The location for the ceremony was in the backyard of the house we were staying at and it was just gorgeous. It was simple but the scenery really took your breath away. The weather in Texas was finally cooperating as well!

We ended the evening by having dinner at the reception and celebrating with the bride and groom.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray 🙂

This weekend I had to learn to let go of some of my control. I can’t ALWAYS pack my lunch. I can’t ALWAYS know about food beforehand. I can’t ALWAYS be expected to pick the lowest calorie/most healthy choice on the menu. There are just some things I literally cannot know prior to events. I can’t let that damper my experiences though! I can’t let food keep me from having fun or a good time. I can’t let myself walk around in one giant ball of worry and anxiety because I’m worried about how this piece of bread will work in my body and where I’m going to find it in the mirror lately. Sometimes, you have to try and live in the moment and actually live.

Sometimes, you have to be fearless.