Christmas Time Is Here

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Ah, Andy Williams (he’s apparently the first one to sing it.) Anyways, Christmas time 🙂

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source: http://www.prettydesigns.com/35-christmas-quotes-you-will-love/

I haven’t written in a very, very, very long time. Mainly because I have so much to do these days and I have all these adult responsibilities now. I feel so old…ha. Even when I do get a spare moment, I like to just sit, or clean something, watch TV, of trying to frantically finish this cross stitch chart I’m doing. Tonight though, I attended the Christmas pageant at my church. This is where all the kiddos in the church get up and act out/sing about the birth of Jesus. It’s the sweetest thing! I was sitting there listening to them and watching them and laughing at/enjoying all their little quirks which got me thinking about the students in my classroom that I’m with every single day. I was sitting there trying to soak it all it and I realized that…..this is what life is about. Life is about singing, rejoicing, talking, laughing, playing, and wondering. It’s not supposed to be difficult. You aren’t supposed to spend every minute trying to control and fix every little thing. It’s about freedom and enjoying yourself and life. I was sitting in a pew with all these thoughts swirling around and coming to me and filling my heart. Maybe it’s just the Christmas spirit coming into my heart and filling it to the brim. I’m choosing to think something else though. Maybe this is God stepping into my heart and filling it even more. I found myself listening to the lyrics of Joy To The World and thinking about how much joy I was feeling and how thankful I am about how far I have come since August.

Halloween

It’s been a long and rough 4ish months. I’m a new, first year teacher and things were TOUGH at the beginning. I found myself in tears so often and thinking I would never get the hang of anything and like I was going to have to find a different career path because this was NOT working. But I stuck it out, I dragged myself through it every day. It was hard. It was so freaking hard. But about a week ago when my students were writing letters to Santa (and telling me seamlessly unending stories about their Elf on a Shelf), I found myself reflecting on how we are almost to the end of the semester and how far I have come and how far the students in my room have come. This isn’t so bad anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like the cliffhanger at the end of a TV show each week. “Tune in next week to find out what happens on Mrs. Powell’s Corral. Will she get all her grading done? Will she be prepped and ready for next week? Will all the parents remember to pick up their children?” It’s been an interesting ride and quite the learning process so far and I can only imagine what the second semester will bring.

 

I’ve come quite far in a number of aspects in life.

(Fall Festival Day. Can you see my holiday leggings?! Yes, I did find quite a few Christmas pairs!)

That’s not to say that Ed hasn’t been here with me the last 4 months. Boy, has he. He’s there every day. But most days he has shut up a little more. He shows up every day at lunch to tell me that what I’m doing is dumb, but I’ve just gotta drown him out really. He’s there most afternoons telling me to go run my little heart out (Christmas videos and shows have been helpful entertainment lately). He’s still present. But I think he may be quieter. It’s been so hard to wrap my mind around how my body looks now. So hard. I don’t even know an expression that is great enough to explain how I feel. I’m trying to focus on the positive aspects of it and learn to accept myself.

Instead of trying to focus on the negative things I’m trying to hard to focus on the good: what’s positive, what brings me joy, what brings others joy, what makes me feel good. Like I said, maybe it’s all the Christmas décor in my house, the Christmas movies on TV, the thought of a break from school and all the Christmas crafts I’d like to do, but I’m trying to think of it as more of a healing process.

There is probably so much more I could say but I’m trying to frantically get these words out on the page before I completely lose what I have been thinking about for the past few hours. I hope you are well and are having a wonderful Christmas or Holiday Season 🙂

We start reading The Polar Express tomorrow!

 

Fun Friday 8/5

What did I do my last week before I become an officially employed person? I watched way too much Scandal, made cinnamon bread and wished it was fall instead of summer! That’s normal, right???

I’m such a boring person……

I’d be lying if I said Hobby Lobby wasn’t one of my “happy places”. It definitely is. I love that place. I’m kind of been wishing it was fall these past couple of days and Hobby Lobby didn’t help. Although, I kind of brought the yearning for fall upon myself. I made cinnamon bread the other night and I put a scent in our bathroom wallflower from Bath & Body Works that smells like ‘warm apple pie’. It’s magnificent though! No regrets there!

I had to visit Hobby Lobby to get some new thread for my new cross stitch project. I swear, I don’t know how I don’t have every color. And since they always put out holiday things way too far ahead I got to explore Thanksgiving and Christmas 🙂

I am totally convinced that I’m going to need this little turkey door sign when it actually gets closer to fall. How could you not find him totally adorable?!

I did practice some self control yesterday…because I kind of have a thing for Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang. They did have some Charlie Brown Christmas theme decor.

I feel like they are nutcrackers but I’m not positive. How cute though!!!!

Finally, if you like classic Christmas animation, I think you might like these cuties.

Rudolph and Clarice!! 

If I had a child I would be all over these. I just think they would need them. When I was a kid I had to settle for a Rudolph stuffed animal that only kind of looked like him. Jealous.

I think I just had a little too much fun yesterday exploring Hobby Lobby.

Patriotic York Patties & Coke Zero Thoughts

Recovery is hard y’all. Getting to a “healthy” weight is hard. Hearing that “you look ‘healthy’ now” are very difficult words to swallow.

Today has been a pretty good/relaxing day. Happy 4^th of July 🙂 I spent my day going for a run, doing some cleaning up, doing some odd cleaning jobs and working on my Christmas cross stitch (welcome to Christmas in July haha). I just finished making dinner (hamburgers/cheeseburgers I was trying to make the All-American meal) and I was sitting here drinking my Coke Zero and patriotic York patties and decided I would write I guess.

I’ve been having a rough time lately. I don’t think anybody has really noticed but I haven’t exactly been trying to broadcast it either. I do find myself being able to eat dinner more often, however as long as I think it’s “good”, “safe”, “low calorie/low fat”. Nevertheless, I eat dinner more consistently. Lately though, I find myself with these thoughts of ‘I need to eat less tomorrow’, ‘maybe I should try skipping breakfast’ (HA. That one is super funny for me), ‘we need to work out harder’ (uh…I don’t know how I could go any harder. Crazy Ed!), or thoughts from that realm. They aren’t positive thoughts and they don’t bring goodness or happiness. They bring sorrow, fatigue, ache, rejection of myself, self-disappointment and fear. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life!

Honestly, my life is going pretty darn well right now. I just got the keys to my very first classroom last week and I get to clean it out and decorate it and really make it my school home. That’s so exciting for me. I need exciting and happy things in my life; I don’t need to be bogged down by what the heck I’m eating for lunch and worrying about if it’s going to make my students, co-workers, family, friends or husband like me less!! I’d love to be able to blame the restriction mentality on the fact that I just got my room and I feel like I have literally no idea what I’m doing. Seriously. I went to 3 ½ years of school for this degree and I feel so unprepared…hahaha. I’m sure lots of people feel this way though. I’ve been reassured that everyone feels the nerves, anxiety and fear when they start a new job. I read this article today (it was slightly on the dirty-ish side but not really). Anyways, it was about body image in the bedroom. It was a lengthy article but it was also helpful in more than one way. It was talking about ways to make you feel better about yourself and being proud of yourself. The author also talked about how your partner doesn’t solely love you for your body. Your family and friends don’t love you solely for your body. I didn’t get my first teaching job because I eat a bunch of yogurt, fruit and “healthy” foods. The author said to turn the situation around and think about if your spouse, friends or family looked a little differently would it have any effect on how much you love and care about them? NO! Heck no! Reading that article today did help me in its own strange way. Here’s the link if you actually want to read it Body Image In The Bedroom by Sarah Vance.

Right now, I’m trying so hard to not center my life around my freaking food and flipping workout schedule. Trying. So. Hard. There is really more to life than meal planning and doing the same workout routine right on schedule every day.

Basically, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Andddddd because I’m a dork and super-duper excited, here’s a picture of my classroom. Definitely the “before” shot!!!!!

Oh! Also my Grandma started painting this “P” for me a few weeks ago when I was down there and she mailed it to me this week. She’s super sweet and this turned out so cute! Looking forward to finding a place in my new room to hang it.

 

Link Love: 6/5

I’m having fun at a wedding this weekend….but 🙂

Fun: 

Apparently I was going for a Disney theme this week? Not on purpose!

13 Ways Disney Princesses Make Great Role Models– by Hilary White via PopSugar ❤

Every Disney Fan Should Complete This Incredible Bucket List– by Brinton Parker

Health/Body:

Instagram Comparing Amy Schumer To Aphrodite Reminds Us Beauty Standards Aren’t Universal-by Suzannah Weiss via Refinery29

The Three Day Military Diet Is One Of The Worst Crash Diets Ever-Period– by K. Aleisha Fetters via Women’s Health Magazine

Being A Teacher:

28 Pictures That Will Make Teachers Laugh Harder Than They Should– by Dave Stopera via Buzzfeed

This were hilarious. Especially #15 and #19!!!!! I’ll never understand Microsoft Word.

In other news!!!

I did some fun ‘let’s kick of summer’ activities this past week. My mom and I ventured to San Antonio this week to randomly go to a teacher store. Thank goodness it wasn’t raining for about 2 hours. But don’t worry, it rained on the way home!

Anyways, we ate at this restaurant called Salata. It was literally a make your own salad place!!! Recently, I’ve been really getting into salads (for no other reason than the fact that I am odd) it turned out to be a success!

I also got my first piece of “official” teacher gear. I bought a calendar set and some boarder. Does this mean I have real teacher status now?

Oh, here’s some chocolate milk I impulsively bought at the store….lol. Please don’t judge my other groceries either.

I also found myself researching at home/personal laminators this week. I’m such an oddball.

Hope you have a wonderful week 🙂

 

Thinking Out Loud 4/14

It’s Thursday!!! Almost Fri(YAY)! So I’m going to join in with Amanda over on Running With Spoons

Here we GO!

1.I’ve really been searching for blogs/bloggers to follow lately. Mainly women and on topics that interest me. I’ve been really into the whole home decor/living stuff lately and I’ve slowly started to become pretty invested in Jennifer Ross and her Youtube/blog Pretty Neat Living. She’s just super cute, way organized, she seems so sweet and genuine, oh and it doesn’t hurt that she’s a new mom to a precious little girl. Check it out 🙂

2. I’ve finished my Laura Bush book Spoken From the Heart. It was a fantastic read! I would recommend that to anyone who just wanted to learn more about Laura Bush as a person. It was especially interesting if you are an educator of young minds like me 🙂

3. In other news, I’m about enter even more into ‘old lady’ status. Since I was watching Jen’s Youtube channel about just life in general, I was watching her holiday home tour and she was saying how she collects Williams and Sonoma holiday plates, a whole bunch of Peanuts decor and some cute mugs. This got me thinking……I should collect something. Y’all, I’m going to collect salt & pepper shakers. Here’s my first purchase:How cute are these Mr. and Mrs. Humpty Dumpty ones?! I couldn’t resist and I really wanted to start my collection.

4. I guess I must have been feeling pretty cute on Sunday. I decided I needed an outfit selfie.

5. This is what happens when your husband has been cleaning out his grandfather’s house. He brought all sorts of treasures home. Good thing I’m in love with old stuff!

6. Lastly, on Sunday ( April 17th) my husband and I will have officially been married for 6 months 🙂 ❤ We have the top tier of our cake saved for our 1st anniversary so I think I’m gonna bring home 2 cupcakes to do a mini celebration. I’m corny like that.

Life’s Anticipation

Today is the final day of student teaching (clinical teacher…whatever). IT’S MY LAST DAY!!! When did this happen?! Am I even old enough to be in college, let alone a teacher!? They are actually going to let me mold impressionable young minds!? Sometimes, I think the state of Texas is crazy. With yesterday being the conclusion of a UIL meet, today being the end of the semester and graduation rapidly approaching, there are all sorts of emotions in the air. Excitement of actually being almost certified, fear of graduation and the future, paired along with excitement of the future because there are so many more beautiful memories, experiences and adventures to come! And of course, I cannot forget the excitement of being able to watch an unlimited amount of Christmas movies/shows because of this new things I’m about to have since finishing school….time!

I’ve come so far since the beginning of the semester. I started out this timid, young, zero experience student teacher who felt like she had no idea how to even step inside a classroom (ALSO: I was Miss McCollum). Now, at the end of this journey I feel like I can walk into the classroom (still nervously) and for the most part have a grasp at what I am supposed to accomplish (and this time, I’ll never be ‘miss’ again, I’ll be Mrs. Powell). Being a “Mrs.” is funny in itself. It’s a strange concept to think about how you permanently are going to live with someone but I can also say that it is literally the best decision you can ever make. It’s amazing to always have someone there with you to talk to, to laugh with, to watch the same TV shows over and over and over, to make them watch Christmas movies with you ;), and finally (this may be the most important) to never judge you for not wanting to make dinner. Maybe it’s just that I’m a newlywed or the spirit of the holidays getting to me, but I’ve just recently realized that there is just so much to be thankful for, appreciate, step back and just be in complete awe of in live. You have to love it. You have to enjoy it while you get the chance. I’m writing this and just thinking about how amazing God is and how thankful I am that he has given me a wonderful family and wonderful close friends that I get to experience life with! He’s allowed me to accomplish my goal of finishing college and it’s been a pretty good ride. He’s allowed me to finally start thinking and working towards recovery, which is a whole new mountain for me to climb, but He is with me!

It’s been a LONG semester filled with joy, anticipation, tiredness and of course, what would college be without STRESS? But I’ve made it through! I can say that I am a graduate, which apparently is a big deal. I get to say that I worked for 3 ½ years to accomplish this goal and I finally get to cross that finish line! Finally, I think what has been one of the best lessons I’ve learned over the course of this semester didn’t come from a school or a book, it’s come from God. I’ve heard it said countless times that “God has a plan for your life” and I took that, understood, and believed. It wasn’t until very recently though that I truly, truly started to believe that and started to watch things unfold the way they are supposed to and NOT how I imagined them. Which is frustrating and I feel like my life is one giant waiting game. But how boring would that be if everything actually went according to how we planned!? There would be no anticipation or excitement in life!! Look forward to the things you have to play the waiting game for in life, sometimes the waiting could be the best part.

(SIDENOTES: I made that one face a lot during the semester.)

Mood Ring

So I should have written this post the weekend of the 4th of July…..but I was literally too lazy to take the time to sit down and type. But I am doing it now, so that has to count for something right???

There’s been moments over the past few days (the July 4th weekend), that make me feel like my heart is overflowing. I find myself positively overcome with joy, love and tranquility that can only come from the Lord. Only from there. Because He loves me and us and I have the PRIVILEGE of “feeling” and “experiencing” love. How amazing is that? Soak it in. What a concept! God’s love allows us to live. It allows me to eat something terrifying (aka the peanut butter sandwich I had for lunch). It allowed me to fall in love. In love….there’s another amazing feeling. I can’t even express the pure joy this concept brings me. I can’t even grasp it. But the Lord is amazing, y’all! He allowed me to live in the wonderful country of the United States and He created people that love and are devoted enough to risk their life to protect the country God created and protect the citizens. Those willing participants are so so vital. It reminds me that God is good. Watching the fireworks yesterday while driving reminded me that the Lord provides, loves and protects.  I was in complete awe of that.  When the troubles of the world have you scared, nervous and anxious as it so often does today, remember all of the numerous wonderful things God does.

God’s hand is everywhere, take a look around. Whether it’s the random flower/tree, the love of your life next to you, your parents, sibling, or anything else imaginable, God is present.

The only way that I will heal and slowly feel better and possibly hear Ed less is with God. I know that everyone “sees” me feeling/doing better. In a way, that’s only slightly true. No, I don’t cry up against the bathroom door anymore, and no I don’t dig my nails deep into my thighs, but I still can’t go 1 day without running, I can’t go to a restaurant and order just anything; I can’t even walk into a restaurant without already having seen the menu and knowing calorie content.  But, I can’t do this by myself. I’ve learned this in the most difficult way. I cannot. I forget this all too often. Those fireworks reminded me in the strangest way. Honestly, the old cliche is true, God works in mysterious ways.

The fireworks changed like mood rings and each color in a mood ring represents a different emotion, much like god has different qualities. God kind of has his own color chart.